The friendzone , this word known especially to the youngest can seem bizarre or vague. You should know that this is an Anglicism which literally means “friendship zone”. He was first mentioned in the hit American series Friends. In a simple way, the friendzone is a relationship in which one person is in love with the other, while the latter does not wish to go beyond the stage of friendship. Generally, a person who is going through this situation is said to have been friendzoned .
The friendzone can affect both men and women , but the latter is rare. We must therefore seek to better understand this concept which can be at the origin of a real psychological pain for those who live it.
What can lead us to find ourselves in the friendzone?
As a human being, we always have preferences for this or that person. Having a best friend, a confidante, with whom you share your pains and sorrows, joys and happiness, is a very beautiful thing. This person becomes so close to you that at some point you can start to see them in a more loving way. When this feeling is not shared, we find ourselves in the friendzone.
It can also have the case where to get closer to a girl, a man uses friendship. In this specific case, the latter does not consider this courtier as a potential lover, but as the one who claimed to be a friend.
In other situations, it is the girl who, to avoid having to choose between a friendship and a romantic relationship, puts up subtle barriers. Here, she can therefore count on a friend and confidant without committing to a relationship which a priori does not interest her.
How do you know if you are in a girl’s friendzone?
To solve a problem, you must already identify it. The friendzone is a painful situation. Contrary to many prejudices, it is not only a s**xual frustration, but the expression of a real sentimental and / or love distress.
If you are very good friends with a girl who can count on your presence and support without going any further, you may have already been a friend. She avoids seeing the subtle advances you make to her. You know everything about her love life, but at no time does she imagine or discuss a potential relationship with you. Sometimes it can be done unconsciously; but very often girls realize what the men around them really want.
There is another case of friendzonage : You have brought up your desires or made it clear what you want from the relationship. But you came up against the famous “I prefer that we remain friends” . At that point, you told yourself that by remaining her friend and therefore being a part of her life, she will eventually accept you and share your feelings. This is a serious mistake which can last for many years.
Sometimes still you live your romance in your head as you wait for the miraculous day when the girl of your dreams realizes how much love you have for her.
The friendzone can happen in a thousand and one ways. It’s for this reason that as soon as you start dating a girl, you have to ask yourself the real questions: “ What am I really expecting from this relationship? “,” How should I go about ensuring that my actions are not misinterpreted? “,” Am I really that girl’s type of man? “, Etc
How to get out of the friendzone
Generally, we say that once you are in the friendzone, it is not possible to leave it. But it is better to make this effort than to suffer for a long time, if not all your life.
To get out of the friendzone, you have to take your courage in both hands and dare to speak the truth . If you have been friendzoned by a girl you like, then you should go up to her and tell her what kind of relationship you would really like to have with her. It can end in failure (from your point of view, if she rejects you) or in a happy ending (they lived happily and had a lot of children, which is quite rare). Either way, you need to be prepared for all eventualities , especially the worst. This will allow you to be more free and to be able to move forward with other people who are ready to love you.
If you don’t yet feel ready for a confrontation, your best bet is to distance yourself. First, in a subtle way: fewer meetings, fewer telephone or text messages, you give her less and less your time, etc. If the girl notices your change and wants to understand better, now is the perfect time to explain the reasons to her. If she doesn’t realize it and lets you walk away, she was originally not even your friend. You can also choose to move away permanently (by completely cutting off contact without warning) from this toxic relationship that is doing you more harm than good.
To get out of a girl’s friendzone, you have to show maturity, sincerity and courage. But anyway, it can only do you good. If it ends on a happy ending, you’ll be glad you tried. Otherwise, you will be freed from a sentimental weight and you can rebuild yourself and leave the door open to other adventures.
And after ?
One last tip: if you’ve been able to get out of a girl’s friendzone, you need to be on your guard not to go back , especially if it didn’t end in a happy ending. Indeed, even if you move away, a chance meeting or an event can cause the girl to see you again. She knows she can count on you and little by little you will start to get stuck in a fuzzy relationship with no real purpose. So be careful and don’t forget that you have the right to happiness just like everyone else !