How to get over infidelity: 21 ways to maintain your marriage

An affectionate betrayal affects the stability of the couple, for some, it even becomes a traumatic condition that results in a lack of trust and total distancing from the partner who fell into temptation.

Surviving infidelity is not a simple task, but with time and perseverance, it can be completely overcome whenever the two parties achieve an honest dialogue and establish a real commitment through mutual forgiveness.

Therefore, if you have been a victim of temptation and have failed your partner, or if you had to be the party that suffered the disappointment in the relationship, we recommend you read this article.

We present you twenty-one ways to regain your relationship and sustain your marriage despite the consequences of infidelity:

1. Gratitude

Despite what has happened, and the possible situations that produced the interference of a third party in the relationship, always and in all circumstances must be borne in mind what made the couple happy and the moments of mutual support.

Remembering everything that made you fall in love, made you laugh, and let you emerge is the initial step to proceed to forgiveness.

2. Feel

Recognizing each emotion, no matter how good or deplorable it may seem, frees the psyche and the heart of grudges.

In this way, your anger and frustration will reduce and you will be able to put yourself in the place of the other, try to understand what motivated him to act in a certain way.

Going to therapy with a psychologist or a counselor is really useful to be able to expose what you feel without deviating from the main objective, which is forgiveness.

3. Put a stop to your mind 

If the purpose is to regain the relationship, you will have to put a stop to every negative thought that only contributes to producing more pain.

4. Explore what is the need to heal

Sensitive needs are usually the ones that lead to betrayal in the relationship.

Behaviors of one or both parties, such as lack of communication, little desire for progress, lack of motivation, lack of money, the envy of the way the couple sprouts, among many other things, are the main reasons to seek affection or a better deal outside of the formal couple.

It is seldom about intimacy as a primary unmet need; with which the two will have to explore which marital faults or weaknesses they present in order to heal them. 

5. Share activities as a couple 

Getting out of the frequent routine, traveling, eating outside the home, and finding new hobbies helps to heal the wounds of the past and to rediscover common interests, create new memories and ways of coping with life.

6. Look ahead

It is necessary to recall the good of the past, try to put a brake on the negative, and continue with optimism towards the future, excusing and assuming a new life from the moment they agreed to reconquer and move forward.

7. Don’t blame yourself

For many questions that arise now, you may not find answers to what causes you pain.

It is useless to blame your partner for what happened or accept that the responsibility is all yours.

Try to support yourself with audiobooks and positive reading. When you blame yourself you can fall into depression and illness, this will only make your life worse.

8. Inquire

Do not believe in a movie, it is better to be upfront and chat with your partner about everything you need to know in order to continue with your life, without continually questioning it or suffering from each painful question, why did you do it? Did you want it? ? Was it carnal or money?

9. Skip what you don’t need to know

Certain details will always and in all circumstances be superfluous, you should not torture yourself for knowing if their physical encounters were satisfactory, nor should you equate or equate your partner with the third party in question.

With this, you are only going to give more strength to the specters of infidelity.

10. Don’t rush

Avoid being conclusive in making a final resolution. Anger and pain are not good advisers. Wait for the tide of emotions to ebb before deciding which way to go.

11. Take your time

There is no average time to get over the pain of betrayal. Go to a secluded place, yell if necessary, practice some sport, meet people with whom you can dialogue and who give you sensitive support.

And after this face your partner and accept their reality.

12. Get vaccinated against what they will say

The healing and forgiveness process consists of recognizing faults and establishing new patterns of life.

Along the way, they will find people who will point out that returning to the relationship is a waste of time, that they will surely have similar problems again.

They will have to make Swedish ears to the beliefs of enough people to be able to continue with a couple’s life in the healthiest way possible.

13. Couples therapy

To strengthen the relationship, good pretenses are not enough.

It is necessary to professionally identify the pros and cons of the relationship to be able to establish if it is worth continuing as a couple or if it is healthier to apologize and continue as friends.

14. Learn to be silent

If you want to know what motivated your partner to move away and seek warmth in other arms, you will have to remain silent, avoid reproaches, and only listen.

Listen to everything he has to say to you without interrupting him, and then state your points of view without being interrupted by the other.

15. Be honest

If you are the person who committed the infidelity, you must understand the need of the other to get answers to each question.

At this moment his self-esteem and confidence are damaged. You have to be very understanding, talk honestly without causing more damage.

As harsh as the reality is, the two failed as a couple and the answers help deepen the pain of both.

16. Cry

When exposing what they feel, they may cry, but not complain from manipulation or condemnation of the other, but rather from love.

Hugging, complaining, and letting off steam allow you to establish bonds with the other person.

17. Restart

If you continue together despite the pain, and recognize the suffering that both suffer after the failure, admitting that what you get is the consequence of a series of actions that you ignored for a certain time, then you are on the right path to restart a relationship. new and solid.

18. Trust

With infidelity the first thing that breaks is trust.

From now on, this value is the first to redo. Strengthen each sentence for your partner with statements that indicate how much you love her and how things are going to take from this moment to progress and reconquer the relationship.

You must fully trust (although it is quite difficult) if you want your partner and move on the same path.

19. Negotiate

Whoever commits infidelity is not in the best moment to sue. All the opposite.

It is the moment to perceive the requests of your partner, and also try to cooperate in what they ask until the moment when the other person trusts you again.

20. Rely on faith

Some couples, especially married ones, made a commitment of faith instantly to begin life as spouses.

You can seek help from a spiritual advisor, priest, or pastor to regain the relationship.

21. Forgive yourself

There is not only a restorer for the soul such as forgiveness.

Beyond what happened, committing to the relationship and letting time heal wounds is healthier for both of them than continuing to torture and affect each other for a carelessness.

Sharing with couples who have lived a full life will serve as a model to take the positive from those relationships and leave the negative behind.