Is he into me? This is a very common question that many women ask themselves. It sounds simple, but it causes a lot of confusion.
This confusion is often caused by “mixed signals,” but honestly, mixed signals are often just a way of saying that a man’s words don’t match his actions.
And when it comes to how a man feels, actions always trump words.
The most important thing to know is that men show how they feel through actions rather than words. Talking is too simple – what you need to watch out for is the way he shows he cares.
Here are some actions to keep an eye on that show he likes you:
Check out the 13 biggest signs he’s into you below.
1. He looks for you first
If he’s into you, he’ll call or text you first. Once you meet a guy, you should never wonder if you should text him or make the first move. Get on with your life! If he’s into you, he’ll find you and ask you out.
Men are goal-oriented and go after what they want. A man is not going to contact you because he wants to chat, he is going to contact you because he has a goal – the goal of setting up a date with you, or maybe a relationship.
Of course, you must consider the context.
If he’s only texting you at 2 am after a drunken night out, or if his idea of a “date” with you when you’ve just met is for you to come over to his house for some Netflix, then he is still focused on one goal. He’s probably not trying to set up a date or a relationship with you, he’s just trying to have a night with you.
2. Start plans
A man who wants something real with you will make the effort to see him and make real plans… again, not at 2 am and not on Netflix!
Remember that all men are not the same. Some men are good at planning amazing dates and others just aren’t.
How elaborate a date is will not necessarily determine how much he likes you.
But if he’s into you, he’ll ask you out (not in!) and he’ll pay attention to what you like to do.
Maybe he’d rather go to the movies and dinner, or take a walk in the park or grab a drink, but he’s going to start spending time with you.
3. He always seems happy around you
If a man seems stressed and anxious around you, that’s not a good sign.
A man who likes you feels good around you. Men naturally gravitate towards what is good and avoid what is bad.
If he feels good around you, he’ll want to be with you more and more.
How can you know if he’s happy with you? This is really very simple. He’ll look relaxed, make eye contact with you, and smile.
If he’s anxious, he won’t be able to calm down and just have fun with you, and you’ll feel it.
It won’t necessarily be related to something you’re doing or not doing – maybe you just don’t click.
He may also seem distracted and maybe look around the room and just not be focused on you.
But if he seems happy and relaxed around you, it’s a good sign he likes you.
4. He is persistent
A man who likes you won’t give up unless he gets a very clear signal from you that he’s not interested.
This isn’t going to be in a scary way, which means he’s not going to keep chasing you no matter how you act or what you do. He will really want to win you over and will go out of his way to do so, as long as you show at least some interest.
A lot of women worry about a guy thinking he doesn’t like her. They think the reason they didn’t ask you out is that she wasn’t affectionate or didn’t show enough interest in them.
But this is not the case unless she is being extremely cold to him. If he’s into you, he’ll chase you even if he has little incentive.
Sure, men fear rejection, but unless you give him some sign that you’re interested, he’ll chase you… and he won’t stop until he catches you!
5. Body language tips
When a man likes a woman, it’s written all over him from head to toe.
He will make eye contact with you and find excuses to touch you. He will lean over when you speak, maybe put his feet towards you. He will definitely smile a lot.
You also need to pay attention to how you feel when you’re with him. If he’s displaying body language that says he likes you, you’ll feel good around him.
How do you feel when you’re with a guy and your eyes are constantly darting around the room? How do you feel when he turns his body slightly away from you? These are signs that a guy isn’t into you, and you’re not going to feel very good about a guy who is acting like that.
So pay attention to his body language and how you feel about it. If he’s looking at you, facing you, and smiling, these are unmistakable signs that he’s into you.
6. You can be yourself around him… and that makes him like you even more!
When you’re with the right guy, you don’t have to act like anyone but yourself. You don’t need to mince your words or think twice about what to say. You don’t have to worry about what to write or write and rewrite texts a hundred times before submitting, you can just be.
You’ll feel good opening up to him about everything in your life. You won’t be embarrassed by hobbies that may not seem “cool” enough, you own them! You’ll tell him about embarrassing relatives or problems you have with friends, and he won’t judge or criticize you.
The secret is that with the right person, you’ll want to share what’s good and what’s bad… and don’t worry about feeling judged.
7. He really listens to what you have to say
A guy who likes you will be sincerely interested in you and your life. He will ask questions because he wants to know more. He’ll remember details about things you’ve said to him before, and the next time you see him, he’ll ask for updates.
A guy who doesn’t like you won’t pay attention. He won’t ask questions right away, and later on, it’s going to be as if the conversation never happened. That job interview you were so worried about? He didn’t even ask how it went… or remember you ever telling him about it.
Again, watch your body language. Does he look away when you’re talking? A man who is listening to you will do will be listening to you, not literally looking for something better or lost in his own thoughts.
8. He makes future plans
When a man likes you, he makes things concrete. He won’t talk about the future in an abstract or unrealistic way, and he won’t just talk about vague plans for things he wants to do with you in the very distant future. Instead, he will make real plans for the short-term future and follow up on those words with actions.
9. He brings you into his life
When you’re with the wrong guy, he won’t want to share his relationship with you. He will live his own life apart from you. Maybe he talks about friends and family with you (words) but won’t introduce you to them (actions)
On the other hand, a man who likes you wants you to meet his friends and family. He won’t just talk about his favorite places to hang out, he’ll take you to them. He’ll want to show you his favorite museum, coffee shop, or bar.
A man who really likes you wants you to know more about him, and that means you should rely on his favorite hobbies and passions. Basically, he will let you in on his people, places, and things.
10. He likes you a lot… and tells you so
A man who likes you will want to make sure you know how much he likes you. He won’t be able to help but tell you what exactly he likes about you – your looks, your personality, your quirks, etc. He’s always finding new things he likes about you too.
Not all men are vocal or great at articulating, so how a man does it can vary. For some men, it will be easy to say how beautiful you are, while others may just say that you look good when they come to you on a date. The key is that they will make an effort.
11. He opens up to you
Can he be himself with you, remove his “mask?”
If you never feel like he’s being real to you, it’s a bad sign. It won’t necessarily happen right away, but if he’s relaxed and happy around you, he’ll open up and be himself around you very quickly.
How can you tell if a man is opening up to you? One sign is that he talks about his dreams and ambitions with you. This can be personal for a guy because dreams are something he can fail at, so there is risk involved in sharing them with you.
If he’s opening up to you and talking about what he’s working on in terms of his future – maybe a new business venture or career change – then that means he feels a certain trust in you and he’s opening up, and he’s not going to do this unless he likes you.
12. Cares about your needs
When someone likes us, they are not only concerned about their own needs but also about ours. That goes for friends and family, and we know what it’s like to have these people in our lives who take care of our needs.
It’s not so different when the man in your life is concerned about your needs. When he does, you’ll feel like you’re being taken into account. He will listen to you and make allowances to meet his needs, and it won’t be because you demanded or forced him.
A man who is into you really wants to make you happy, and his actions will show you that.
(Warning: It’s not his job to make you happy and heed it. A guy who likes you will want to make you happy, but he doesn’t have to. Only you can control your level of happiness, it comes from within.
And worrying about your “needs” doesn’t mean he texts you every five minutes, because you won’t feel safe in the relationship otherwise.
It’s not about catering to a needy mindset, most men don’t tolerate that. It’s about caring about you as a person and what you need in a relationship… within reason.)
13. It’s obvious
When he likes you, he really likes you, you just know. It will be very clear to you and everyone around you.
If you’re in doubt as to whether he’s into you or not, analyzing your every move, scrutinizing your every text, then you probably have your answer.
If you don’t feel good in a relationship, it is a sign that the relationship is not good for you.
It means the man isn’t right for you, and that’s usually because he doesn’t value you or the relationship enough.
Sometimes, though, it can be hard to trust your instincts.
Perhaps you feel that he has led you astray in the past and you need to know the signs to look out for. In that case, remember that a man’s actions mean much more than his words.
Look for these 13 unmistakable signs that a man is into you and you won’t be led astray.
I hope after reading this article you know exactly how to tell if a guy is into you.
Whether he is or not, it’s very important that you know the key moment in any relationship that determines whether it’s going to last forever or whether you’re going to be heartbroken.
At some point, he will start to pull away and may lose interest.
He doesn’t respond to you that much, he’s not that excited about you, and it feels like you’re losing him… do you know what to do in this situation?
Otherwise, you can make one of the biggest relationship-killing mistakes that many women make without knowing it.