Having a crush is fun – the butterflies in your belly, the looks when he passes and the imagination going wild.
But it’s not so much fun when you’re madly in love with him and he has no idea about it.
We’ve all been there, certainly, when just the thought of telling them how you feel makes your heart race and your hands clench.
But getting your crush to love you back doesn’t have to be that hard, it can be very enjoyable for both of you, and today we’re going to cover the best ways to do that.
15 ways to make your crush fall in love with you
1) Eye contact – a lot
Eye contact is one of those things that never goes out of style… a lot can be said with just one look.
So it’s no wonder that if you’re trying to get your crush to notice you, or realize that you’re into them, using the magical power of your eyes might be enough.
As psychologist Linda Jackson explains:
“Maintaining eye contact with someone creates a state of being calm and connected that, after 30 to 60 seconds, triggers the release of oxytocin.
As you experience this chemical surge each time eye contact is maintained, these small impulses can add up to a well-sustained sensation.”
And honestly, you don’t have to wink at him, or stare at him until he’s terrified – just one long look is enough to make his mind race.
2) There is nothing more attractive than confidence
But with that said, it takes a certain level of trust to start looking at your crush.
Whether you already know him or are in love from afar, you’re going to need confidence to do this job.
And here it is:
Even if you’re not the most confident person in the world, that’s okay.
Half of us are faking it anyway and nobody knows it.
So when you’re about to bump into your crush, put on some motivational music, see if you’re at your best, and smile like your heart isn’t about to jump out of your chest.
Just don’t sound arrogant.
You want your crush to notice and find your confidence attractive, but there’s a fine line that people sometimes cross because they try too hard.
3) Avoid the friend zone, it’s like the plague
Now, this is where it gets tricky.
The best relationships are based on friendship (and since that’s your ultimate goal, if you’re in love), you might want to consider being friends with him before you move.
Do not do it.
Once you’re in that friend zone, it’s hard to find your way around and get your crush to see you as anything other than the adorable friend he calls out from time to time.
That’s not your goal, so while you can be friendly with them, you should avoid the friendship-only path.
4) Listen to him
I know how it is, he’s talking and all you can think about is what your kids would be like if you had something.
Or worse yet, he’s sharing something personal with you and you can only imagine what he would look like naked – it happens to all of us.
But your crush will probably pick up on the fact that you’re distracted, and that’s not cool for you.
And when it comes to paying attention, psychologist Martin Graff explains, “Hearing well is not automatically saying “yes, yes”, but writing down and summarizing what the other person has said.”
Naturally, people are attracted to those who show a genuine interest in them, so make mental notes when they speak, even if it’s not particularly important information.
And it helps to keep track of the things they’ve said to you in the past.
Ask how the exam went. Find out how the dog is doing. Don’t be afraid to show him that you cling to his every word – he’ll love you for it.
5) Don’t repress your personality
And don’t be afraid to show who you are.
It can be tempting to pretend and act in a way you normally wouldn’t.
Maybe you try to act nice instead of being your usual silly and playful (which your crush would probably love to see, by the way).
Or you try to look “sophisticated” and go out drinking and eating when all you’d rather do is curl up on the couch with a bottle of wine.
Confession – I have done this in the past.
I even managed to conquer my crush, but months after I started the relationship, I found it hard to separate myself from who I really am and who I pretended to be. It was not an easy truth to face.
So believe me, just be yourself.
And let’s face it, nobody likes to be lied to, even if you only do it with your personality, they will realize it at some point, because we can’t hide our true nature forever.
So be honest with them – you’ll feel good about it and they’ll have a chance to really fall in love with you for who you are.
6) Stop playing
Okay, I know that almost every romance movie we watch encourages emotional games.
You know the guy, he texts and you wait three days before replying.
Or she shows interest, so you try to make her jealous by posting a picture on Instagram with another girl.
We’ve been conditioned to think that it makes your crush want you more, but in reality you run the risk of them thinking you’re not that interested.
So, save the game for when you go out with your crush or when you invite him to a poker night – but when it comes to showing your feelings, it’s better to be honest than to play games.
7) Discover his passions and share yours
This is probably one of the most important things you can do to make your crush love you.
Because your crush is your point of happiness.
It’s what gives his life meaning, so if you’re interested in that, he’ll open up to you.
And you’ll start looking more attractive to your crush just by being interested, let alone sharing your passions in return.
So whether you’re a complete cinephile or you can’t get enough of surfing, don’t push that kind of thing away from your crush, show your passions.
You might even consider inviting him to see if he likes it too, and hopefully he’ll respond.
And just like that – you’ve just set up a date with your crush where you can get to know each other better.
8) Be there for him
If you already have some form of friendship/established acquaintance with your crush, it’s a good idea to offer them a shoulder to lean on.
If you know he’s having a hard time or has had a rough day at work and needs to vent, be there for him and show him how much you’re willing to make him feel better.
The next time he feels a little sad, you will be the first person that crosses his mind and he will associate you with someone who makes him feel good.
It’s the best way to win his heart and gain trust.
9) There’s nothing like being present in the moment
And to be fully available to him – you must first be present in the moment.
No matter how much your phone vibrates in your pocket, if you’re with your crush, avoid answering unless it’s an absolute emergency.
As a society, we get very distracted by our devices and our need to know what’s going on at every moment of the day.
It’s information overload and a bad habit to constantly check your phone and not be there.
And the problem is:
If you do this around your crush, she’ll think you’re not paying attention to him.
But if you look him in the eye when you talk, focus all your attention on him, and leave your cell phone in your pocket, you’ll make him feel like the only person in the room.
And that’s addictive.
Trust me, your crush will love you for giving preference over any senseless distractions.
10) Focus on the things you have in common
They say opposites attract, and that may be true.
But even in these cases, most people tend to look for similarities. It makes us feel comforted and we see the other person as “safe” because they like some of the same things we do.
It helps us to relate.
“We learn that a person has something in common with us, and it makes us feel positively about that person, because we feel positively about ourselves,” explains psychologist Gwendolyn Seidman of PsychologyToday.
She goes on to say, “So we assume the other person, like us, has other positive traits.”
Not to mention it makes conversation a lot easier, especially if you’re really nervous and can barely express yourself.
So, as soon as possible, analyze the things you have in common and this will make your crush instantly relax and open up to you.
11) Avoid talking about your past relationships
I know how tempting that can be – you feel like sharing your past because it gives you an idea of the kind of relationship you want (or want to avoid).
It’s also a chance to show what a great girlfriend you can be — or even a way to get your crush’s sympathy, especially if you’ve been through a rough breakup.
But as much as this makes for an interesting and emotional conversation, keep it to yourself for now.
It’s one thing to dive into these kinds of conversations when you’re in a relationship together, but it’s not ideal when you’re trying to get your crush to love you back.
The truth is:
This kind of conversation can easily get you into the friend zone – and don’t forget how much we want to avoid it!
12) Show your vulnerabilities
So while you shouldn’t reveal your past relationships, that doesn’t mean you can’t let your vulnerabilities take over.
Whether you’re afraid of dogs or you’ve had a very difficult childhood, opening up to your crush will let them see the parts of you that no one else has access to.
It can also help to expose your weird and quirky habits because they will see how realistic you are and will be encouraged to share theirs with you too.
With that being said though, you might want to avoid any extremely unusual fetishes until you’re sure they love you back – unless you know they like that sort of thing too.
13) Avoid jumping headfirst
Pay attention to this:
If you look like a crazy obsessed person who wants to get married and have lots of babies with your crush, he’s probably going to run in the opposite direction.
You want him to know that you love him, but without any pressure.
And let’s face it, texting him constantly and showing up wherever he goes isn’t the best way to get him back on track.
Use these tips to make him fall in love with you too, but don’t force anything that doesn’t feel natural.
14) Leave some things to the imagination
And just as you shouldn’t throw yourself into a relationship, it also helps to leave some things to the imagination.
When I started seeing my partner, I had to get my verbal diarrhea under control.
Now, that’s not to say I was being dishonest or hiding a part of my personality, but I knew that to get him interested, I had to have a touch of mystery.
So I wasn’t going to go into detail about everything I was doing, thinking or feeling (it’s not easy – other chatters know my pain), but it worked.
He always wanted to know more.
This is a surefire way to make your crush love you back, after all, who doesn’t love the thrill of a mysterious new lover?
15) Be honest with him
And finally, the easiest and most direct way to get your crush to love you back is to be honest with them.
But before you start panicking at the idea of being honest with him, don’t worry, it’s not as bad as you think.
And I say this from experience.
I’ve already confessed my feelings to crushes and yes, I was sweating a lot and yes, I probably blushed like a red pepper, but after taking it all off – it was so worth it.
And the truth is:
What’s the best way to make him fall in love with you?
As relationship psychologist Madeleine Fugère explains,
“Telling a potential partner that you like them might seem bold, but this revelation often leads to reciprocal liking: When we discover that others like us, we tend to like them too.”
By having this conversation, you will have shown your vulnerable side and will likely make him feel good about explaining your feelings for him.
It takes courage, and your crush will recognize it, so go for it.
And, at the end of the day, you’ll know how he feels much faster than if you avoided the problem for months.
Is your crush like a long distance relationship? Here’s what you need to know:
With the current situation keeping most of us at home, more and more people are having online friendships and relationships.
And using dating apps and social media makes it easy to meet people anywhere in the world from the comfort of your couch.
So if your crush doesn’t live nearby, it can be tricky to use all these great techniques like body language and eye contact.
But that doesn’t mean you can’t make your crush love you too, you just have to be creative.
Here are some ideas to help:
- Use the power of social media – show your personality so he can learn about you and your likes and dislikes just by looking at your profile pictures
- Keep your texts light and fun and use emojis to clarify your feelings as some things can be misinterpreted when texting
- Keep being yourself, even if you’re nervous about video chatting with your crush
- Come up with fun online dating ideas – play a virtual game together or have a virtual movie night
- Think of some fun and interesting questions to ask each other so you can get to know each other in a joyful way.
In a way, being at a distance can give you a chance to chat and get to know your crush even better.
As Angelina Cruz explains to PsychAlive:
“The great thing about a long-distance relationship is that it can help strengthen the bond that goes beyond the physical between you and your partner, because you have more time to talk to each other about yourself and about each other.”
So don’t be discouraged if you still can’t physically meet your crush, there are plenty of opportunities to show how you feel and earn their love in return.
It’s easy to overthink this situation, your mind and heart are racing, and while you want them to know how you feel, the thought of confessing makes you want to throw up.
Don’t worry, it’s completely natural to feel that way.
Take a deep breath and go for it – you have more to lose by staying quiet and keeping your feelings a secret.
And, that’s why the best thing you can do to get your crush to love you again is to be yourself all the time – no matter how wonderfully weird, weird and wild you are, don’t hold back.
When he falls in love with you too, you’ll know he loves you just the way you are – so go out there, be tough and let him see you shine with confidence.