Men are slow.
Slow to ask for your number. Slow to ask you to go out with them. Slow to ask you in marriage.
The American site eHarmony calls them ” snail men “, and for good reason. Your hair would have time to become as long as Rapunzel before it takes the initiative.
Sitting in the passenger seat does not help, but by taking the first step, you might discourage it …
Fortunately, there are other ways to speed up a man, while keeping him in the driver’s seat.
Here are three ideas :
1. Keep a full social calendar
When you wait, wait and wait again, the weeks may seem as long as years. So do not sit around waiting for him to take an initiative. If he doesn’t call you to offer to go out, have fun on your side.
Organize a movie night, a barbecue, a picnic in the park. Invite everyone, even just acquaintances. Of course, he can come too. If he can come down from his tower…
Having fun for yourself has several advantages:
1. It gives you social credibility
It’s difficult to organize something. Sure, sometimes the event doesn’t happen, or only one or two people attend, but people will still recognize you and appreciate your efforts.
2. This prevents you from fixing on him
You don’t need a man to have fun. You can even offer to join him in your activities without asking him to go out with you.
There is no point in inviting an attractive, single man to a group outing. You don’t ask him to go out with you. You just inform him of an event in which he might like to participate.
2. Don’t commit more than he does
The quickest way to make a snail man speed up is not to commit more than him.
If he doesn’t confirm that you’re dating, don’t treat him like your boyfriend. Don’t book your weekends for him. Don’t give him your free time. On the contrary, go out actively or spend time with other people.
If he wants to have a place in your life, then take the place yourself. He won’t get a commitment from you until he does it first. And, more importantly, he must know that he will not stay with you forever, if ” forever ” is not part of his vocabulary.
3. Start the fire by gently provoking it
Not all men are deliberately slow. Some men are slow because it is in their nature.
It takes them time to realize and understand what they are feeling. Time to put in place an action plan. Time to mobilize their energy to act.
You cannot accelerate a man whose gear lever is locked first. But you can get the red lights out of its way. Do this by giving it safe openings to move on to.
The enticing humor
Enticing humor is a good technique for setting the stage and getting him to do what you want him to do.
For example, imagine you are out with friends and you meet a man you like very much. You talk for a while. Everything goes well when suddenly there is silence. He looks elsewhere.
You are sure he will find an excuse and leave. What are you doing to make him understand that you would like to see him again? Maybe you sigh and say, “I’ve been sitting here since the start of the evening, and no man asked for my number. I will end up believing that gallantry is dead. “
He could take the bait and ask for your number, or just comment on your comment as if you were just changing the subject. In any case, none of you lose face.
Provocation… in small doses
Provoking involves risks. Imagine you are chatting with someone you have met online. It’s been a few weeks and he still hasn’t taken any initiative. What are you doing to make him understand that you want to meet him for real?
You might write, “I’m starting to wonder if you have green skin and big sharp teeth.”
“What! Why? “He replies. You answer: “Because you have not yet proposed that we meet. Is there anything I need to know? 😉 ”.
You don’t know if he will give you the answer you expect. But you will never know until you ask.
Even if the safest thing is to do nothing and let him take the reins, waiting for a man to follow can be very frustrating.
Take back power. Don’t put your life on hold for him. Stay busy and socially active, and use tantalizing humor to tease him and bring out his intentions.
PS: To succeed is above all to know how to seize the opportunities that present themselves to you and this, in all areas of life…