How to overcome an unrequited love? – Stages of heartbreak

Ending a relationship can be very difficult, especially when the relationship has lasted a long time and there are joint plans. But it is not the end of the world! Since after a time of reflection and pain, you will be able to see the sunlight come out again.

Although it seems very far away, the time when the sun rises again always comes, but you have to keep in mind that everything fulfills a process, that of mourning has 5 important stages that you must know and that by doing so you will be able to overcome the love break in a good way.

How to identify the feeling of heartbreak?

The main thing to know is that heartbreak hurts , no matter how much you think about it or how much you justify it, the feeling of heartbreak causes a pain that is even difficult to identify where you feel. This pain can often trigger symptoms similar to anxiety and generates hormones in the body that cause slight damage to the heart muscles.

On the other hand, the feeling of heartbreak produces constant crying, stomach pain, physical exhaustion, loss of appetite, depression and fear. All this cascade of symptoms lead the person to want to be in bed, lying down and not wanting to go out or share with someone else .

These symptoms are the best way to identify the feeling of heartbreak, the good news is that it is not a situation that is perpetuated over time and if you are going through a process of heartbreak, always keep in mind that, like a disease, this ends up healing .

How to overcome a love breakup? – Tips to overcome it

Getting over a breakup is not something that is achieved in a script or in books. Since depending on the feelings of each person, the process of overcoming after a love break is different. Some need to travel, others remember over and over the old moments until they accept and overcome, others choose to see it as a teaching.

The truth is that the way you choose to overcome this break will depend entirely on your state of maturity , depth of feelings and mental capacity . For example, if you’ve been in a toxic relationship for a long time, the patterns established in it, your affected personality, and thoughts will make it harder for you to move on, no matter how mature you are.

However, there are certain emotional overcoming techniques that you can apply to get out of that slide of negative emotions in which you find yourself. Like the following:

  • Accept reality , be aware of why the relationship ended. If the relationship ended for good, it is because it was the best decision they could have made. There was no way to save her, so it would be best to let go.
  • Focus on treating yourself. When a relationship is in critical condition, above all women forget about self-love thanks to the destructive and depressive behaviors that develop. Leave this in the past!
  • Learn to forgive. The best moment is when after reflecting alone and having zero contact to forget , you can accept everything that is happening, forgive and let go. Don’t hold a grudge inside yourself!
  • Do not blame yourself or look to blame: One of the most difficult things when ending a relationship is taking responsibility for everything you’ve experienced, since they often try to find guilty. Remember that each person has a process to live regardless of the person next to them and therefore we should not blame ourselves or blame the other, the right thing to do is to accept what was done and what was not done and learn from it for the future.
  • Allow yourself to feel: Remember that the grieving process is quite personal and everyone experiences it differently. If you want to cry you must do it, if you want to go out you must also do it, do not punish yourself if you think you have suffered too much because emotions have to be fully experienced.

Stages of heartbreak

Although everyone faces a breakup in their own way, there are certain patterns that everyone suffers from as the relationship fades. Knowing them and knowing how to differentiate them will be vital to break the cycle and improve. 

These stages of heartbreak correspond to the same stages of grief and it is necessary that each one is lived properly to be able to overcome the breakup correctly, any stage not overcome will only create chaos later , so it is good that you take your time.


As the name implies, this is the stage where we do not want to accept the reality that the relationship has already reached its final end and there is no more to do or say. The shock of breaking up has not been fully processed, and there is still the idea that they may return.

After an attack of anger, one usually looks for the partner and tries to start a conversation in order to rethink a possible reconciliation, this is where it is about covering the errors and problems to imagine that everything can return to The normality.

Stage of anger and rage

The second stage is one of the consequences of heartbreak and denial, since by not wanting to accept the reality that there is nothing left, our feelings are filled with fury. Deep down we know that it is the best, however at this point we do not know how to overcome the lack of love that hurts so much.

At this point, they tend to find culprits, devise situations of what could or could not have been made to get upset with the partner or with oneself, with third parties and everything that the couple does create more anger and frustration.


It is a dangerous stage in the breakdown of relationships, since by a banal attempt to feel better, we try to fix things with the partner. At this time, knowing how to proceed will be vital. Because most of the time, we try to get back into the relationship , which would be unhealthy. Instead, we must seek to stay on the best possible plan with our ex in order to overcome everything more easily.

Many times a false agreement is attempted to maintain contact without having anything, which only causes more pain for both parties.


It is the worst stage after a breakup, since seeing no other solution, we plunge into a sea of ​​despair that can hurt too much. This stage is painful, however it is the most necessary because it makes contact with the pain and the wound of abandonment.

Being able to touch those shadows that surround us and realize that from one moment to another we find ourselves alone, allows us to see that the world does not end and that from the darkness there are still forces to emerge and have light.

At this stage you have to be very careful because if you don’t act intelligently you can fall into a victim role that can turn depression into a pathology.


It is the most difficult stage to reach, and it takes its time. Once there, the pain has subsided and we can see reality as it is. We feel able to start our lives over again.

We have already shed anger and pain, this does not mean that they cannot appear from one moment to another, but when they do their blows are not so strong , little by little you will see how you shine and feel comfortable with yourself and loneliness It is no longer a burden, you do not need more than yourself to be happy.

How to get over unrequited love

Overcoming a love that is not for us is difficult, but not impossible. Since in these cases the relationship is not fully established , and the process of overcoming is easier.

  • Take care of your physical and your mental health. Enjoy the activities that you like the most!
  • Meet new people.
  • Distract the mind with everything you can. Watch a new series, read a book, learn something!
  • Remember that there are more fish in the sea.

How to identify if I need to go to a psychologist to overcome a love breakup?

A love duel usually lasts between 8 months to a year , after this time it is said that the duel becomes pathological. But you don’t have to wait that long to seek psychological help.

There is no specific time to go to the psychologist , on the contrary, if your relationship lasted many years or was very intense, the one that you start with psychological support from the beginning will help you get out of the process faster.

The psychologist is not a magician, he is as lost as we are in the problem; the difference is that he has a map and a flashlight thanks to his long years of study on the human mind and will surely help us when we feel more lost.

Tips to be happy again after ending a relationship

Happiness is the way, from the moment the last part of the grief begins, a path of happiness begins that clearly depends on ourselves. These are some aspects to take into account:

  • Focus on yourself: Perhaps you have heard this phrase many times and even if you try, the truth is that it costs a lot. It is understandable because focusing on oneself is not so easy when the mind is thinking of another person . But it all starts from the simplest, when you get up in the morning, get a nice hairstyle, look for a makeup video and put on makeup, buy yourself some clothes or accessories, etc. These small details will make your attention to yourself grow more and more.
  • Begin to dominate your mind: For this you will have to read some articles, watch some videos and enter a hitherto unknown world. And it is that the mind plays a fundamental role in a rupture, since sometimes it becomes a weapon of self-destruction. Knowing your mind and learning to master it will help you to remain happy.
  • Find your muse: From painful or strong moments come the best stories, short stories, poems, Instagram stories, thoughts for Facebook. So take the opportunity to bring out the artist in you and enjoy the happiness that makes art from pain causes.
  • Go out on the street: After a break we have a forced freedom and perhaps at first you will not notice it but little by little you will realize that being alone and being independent has many advantages. Start going out with friends, make plans without notifying anyone, stay where you want and when you want; You may miss some things at certain times but at others you will have happiness on the surface.