How to overcome emotional dependence with Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP)? In this article, I explain how we can overcome the different issues related to emotional dependence with NLP coaching.
The meaning of what we communicate is in the response we get. It is a presupposition of NLP. Communication is two-way: a sender and a receiver, only the responses we receive when we communicate have meaning.
Whose sense? About what? How? ‘Or’ What?
Everyone has their own world map based on each personal story and the messages sent are distorted by filters on the show and in the opposite direction by other filters.
Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) observes a very particular interest in words, in the construction of sentences, in the deep linguistic structure, which resonates deep within each of us.
Each personal story, each of our maps of the world (cultural, social, spiritual, emotional, etc.) potentially entails different emotional charges. Certain words can make us feel like an alpha state, a hypnotic trance…
While learning to listen is important to detect these words, these hypnotic phrases unique to each person even if the verbal language is only a small part of the communication.
Watch what I tell you, feel what you observe …
1 Listen:
For example, if you announce to someone that a green rose reminds you and makes you feel something so special, in the world map of your receiver, the perceived message will be that certainly you are seriously derailed. While the green roses give off a very special scent. Have you imagined for a single second that the transmitter is colorblind?
Active listening is a behavior that is not necessarily easy and can be learned. Paying sincere attention to your interlocutors (and/or your opponents), staying in the present moment completely and completely will really change your life thanks to a much better able to listen. You will also learn a lot about yourself …
2 Observe:
For example, you can learn to observe: look at people when they think no one is seeing them. People reveal a lot about themselves when they think no one will notice what they are doing. Be especially observant during these times when people feel comfortable and are completely themselves. This will give you a first reading of the person and will give you lots of clues about their emotions.
Have you ever walked in the street and met someone’s eyes without wanting to hurt them, yet this person will make you look as black or even cursing you? Your energy signature, your physiological signals, and your non-verbal communication will have expressed something that you are missing (hate, disgust or something else, for example).
What determines our perception and our actions?
By organizing our thinking and directing our attention, “metaprograms” influence our representations of a situation, and determine how we feel and act. We are at the heart of the system of self-influence or self-manipulation of individuals. An influence that concerns us first and foremost.
“To tell the truth, all perception is already memory. We practically perceive only the past, the pure present being the elusive progress of the past gnawing at the future. ”
– Haruki Murakami
For my part, I found it brilliant and sometimes confusing to discover my self-manipulation schemes to facilitate or sabotage the achievement of my objectives. Because these influences and strategies which remain in an unconscious state have the most powerful effects. The problem is never the system of influence in itself, but its inadequacy to a situation.
Even if you are not yet aware of what represents all of your communication channels, and those with whom you interact, it is what you get in response that counts and can allow you to evolve. in understanding responses that do not suit you and especially to understand more the importance of your signature when you want to transmit information.
I send you strength!
