The other is not what you expected of him or her. The urge to continue writing or talking to him or her on the phone is waning. In short: it’s time to give up and end the flirting. But how to do that – without smacking someone hard over the head? We’ll tell you.
Cancel a date, yes or no? How to spot a bad date
Are you not sure if your counterpart’s impression is fooling you and you don’t want to give up too soon? Don’t worry – there are clear signs that suggest you should give it a try as you are probably dating the “wrong person”.
- Enough Dream Expectations: First Things First: There is no such thing as The Dream Prince or The Dream Woman. Nobody is perfect. So say goodbye to ideals and excessive claims. What we’re talking about here are the crucial little things that are important for a partnership to work. In other words: Basic requirements when choosing a partner, so that both have optimal starting conditions. So you don’t even need to OUT, because if you have very high criteria, you don’t even enter the game.
- Is everything in flux? : Two people who are a good match and whose energies begin to vibrate have one thing above all else: saying something to each other. If the conversation gets so boisterous with the introductory questions that it becomes uncomfortable, you should ask if it wouldn’t be better to give up. Are you dealing with someone who was significantly more fun before? So this person is a very shy woman or man, or you don’t work well together in “real” life. Look carefully before judging.
- Before you dump: Listen and Weigh: The content of your conversations reveals at least as much about your connection to each other as the flow of the conversation. Certain threads and comments show how others “tag”. If your worldview, values, and goals in life harmonize with what is important to you. Take off your rose-colored glasses – and rethink before you stump. Listen carefully where it fits – and where it doesn’t. Above all, however, you will know which points are of the most important to you.
- Curious? : Anyone who really wants to know themselves is extremely curious. If you don’t need to know anything about common interests, you can safely dial and assume that you will have to reject your counterpart in order to break off contact.
- Ready to let go of someone? Your Intuition Decides: The most valuable filter, however, if you’re sitting across from the “wrong person” in a mood that doesn’t harmonize, is your feelings. Allow yourself to make judgments based on your gut! Honestly listen to yourself and ask yourself the following questions:
- are you bored?
- Would you like to be able to go home quickly?
- Are you repulsed by an outward appearance?
There is no point in ignoring these perceptions, even if they are not good thoughts. You must take your feelings seriously! Nothing can be fixed or thought through.
How to cancel a date: 3 strategies
You promised a lot of your contact – but now you know: it won’t work? – Common when the expected feelings do not materialize and there is no way out but a stump. It is not easy to convey this tactfully to others. Even so, it’s important to say goodbye in style. What you should know to “clearly” reject an acquaintance…
Canceling an encounter via deadlock reflex
Probably everyone has had to experience it firsthand: suddenly nothing else comes from a person whom you took to heart in one way or another. He doesn’t answer anymore. No phone calls, no replies to messages, no explanations. Silence in the forest. They hope and fear, looking for reasons. And after agonizing uncertainty, at some point you can’t get around it: the other is not interested.
Under no circumstances should you torture your counterpart with ghosting as an elegant finish. Stealing the case in such a cowardly, silent, silent way is simple: undignified. Simply, of course, to those who leave – but disrespectful to those left behind.
Give up the evasive maneuver
Run, get rid of him, run away. For many, this is an acceptable compromise. Someone reacts in some way to being spoken to and doesn’t hurt anyone with the truth.
But even this method isn’t sincere if you want to dump without offending the other person. And – between us – whether stories of sick grandparents serve as an excuse, colds have to be used for repeatedly postponed dates – or the other suddenly has an “insane amount” of work on his desk and is therefore unfortunately complicated now. It boils down to one thing: you end up feeling hijacked and mistreated.
Cards on the table must be rejected with respect
If one believes that karma affects all future encounters as a result of our behavior, honesty is the only way. But not only then. Telling someone on the stump that the expected feelings will not materialize should simply be taken for granted. An open conversation or an honest message gives the other person an opportunity to loosen up and refocus.
Remember that there were reasons why you wanted to meet this person. And whether it’s just a glorified snapshot or pure curiosity – decency and respect dictate not cowardly stealing but saying goodbye at eye level.
Just get away with these tips
Telling a boyfriend that the interest isn’t big enough is a stupid thing to do. Therefore, you should definitely follow some basic rules to leave as little scorched earth as possible.
Whether it’s after a few messages or after a long attempt at phone calls and meetings. Rejecting is never good. Neither to the one who receives the rejection, nor to the one who gives the rejection and therefore has to reject someone. That’s exactly why: Always say goodbye in the best way possible – to make it easier for yourself and others.
Don’t let anyone get restless
Are you absolutely sure it won’t work for the two of you? Please don’t unnecessarily hesitate to bring this up. The other expects – as do you – that they are serious. And the risk of hurting someone by taking the plunge increases as you get to know yourself. Putting clear words on the back burner just because you feel uncomfortable is simply unfair. Treat others the way you would like to be treated!
open the game
It’s one thing to find someone promising and interesting on your profile. The other is – the actual encounter. Everyone has to kiss a few frogs before finding the right partner. If he or she definitely isn’t, don’t worry. Avoid date cancellation or postponement tactics – like “I have too much to do” or “I’m not ready for anything serious”. Wordings that suggest the other person has to be more persistent or have a little patience are out of place. If there is no radio or if interests differ greatly, these are the facts that must be stated.
Show your heart when making the rejection
Receiving an out is always complicated. But when you show the other person that you think it’s just as embarrassing that it didn’t work out, you make it more bearable. A certain amount of empathy and the relaxed awareness that, unfortunately, things don’t always turn out the way you want them to help. This gives your counterpart the opportunity to take anything but personally. After all, no one is to blame for the incompatibility between you.
keep your composure
It goes without saying to be polite until the end of the moment. Accusations or insults have no place here. Are you breaking contact over a fundamental difference of opinion? Don’t get carried away with further discussions. Be factual. Look ahead – and leave the possibly unpleasant encounter behind.
Respect is a form of appreciation that everyone really deserves. Even if you are disappointed with unfulfilled expectations. Condescending comments are taboo as well when giving detailed reasons for you to leave. For others, you just cancel your dates. Even if he or she is too plump, too small, too boring, or humorless for your liking. It’s by no means something you can say directly to his face. Be considerate and spare him hurtful judgments.
Dropping Out – The Right Way
When you say goodbye, do you just disappear? Or is it better to dive into an online exchange without saying a word? Here are the interesting results of our research on the subject of “getting out”.
The fact is: those looking for a partner online also make contacts that – sooner or later – turn out to be false starts. But what’s appropriate when you realize you just don’t fit in? How to get away without getting hurt. Parting words or just radio silence? We wanted to know what you think about it – and we asked over 1,000 members:
Clarity goes well!
Any kind of rejection – whether it’s short and sweet, or in a charming way – is better than no rejection at all. That’s what 23% of women and 28% of men think. 41 percent of our singles — men and women — experience more tolerable rejection when they say “goodbye” with a few sweet lines. Consequently, 55% of women and 64% of men never ended contact without saying goodbye. Only a meager six percent – regardless of gender – consider a wordless break in contact to be the best.
For 30% of women and 25% of men, when it comes to the bag, it always depends on how far an acquaintance has progressed: they don’t necessarily expect an answer to simple contact questions, but do so after a more intense exchange. Seven percent of respondents feel that they do not formally end contacts that have not yet taken place.
Radio silence? Often just negligence!
In 16% of women and 20% of men, the reason for being dumped in the form of a broken contact is your own negligence. Offensive, outrageous or strange statements made by the other were the trigger for 14% of women and 6% of men to stop contact. Only 8% of women and 5% of men said they would stop contact without comment if they didn’t like the other person’s photo.
Conclusion: Say Goodbye Honestly and Directly
In any case, two out of three would appreciate feedback when it comes to making a basket without hurting anyone and ending contact. The remaining third can – at least if they didn’t get beyond the first message – live well without a reply. E: For many, what counts is the amount of exchange that preceded – that is, how much passion was invested
Tip: Those who take a more relaxed approach to research and are “widespread” should keep contact requests individual but less time-consuming. And if you are not interested, at least give a little, but always with affection, a basket. This is possible even without big words: in each profile, you have the opportunity to say goodbye to an acquaintance with friendly pre-formulated phrases. On the other hand, if there is no response – please don’t take it personally! The most diverse reasons can lead to the loss of contact.