How to Recognize the Friendzone and Escape It

“Condolences for our comrade who fell into the friend zone” – these and similar phrases are often read on social networks. Even if the comparison with the suffering of war is completely unfounded, this phenomenon seems to affect many. How can you recognize a friend zone and escape it?

The friend zone is in an unsatisfactory state. As the name suggests, two people have a friendship – but while one wants more, the other prefers to remain in the status quo. And “more” means a romantic love affair. Secretly, one part of friendship depends on the other, but the current situation does not escape (anymore). Gender is irrelevant: a friend zone can be experienced as both male and female.

This state is painful for the passionate party. Because he doesn’t know what it’s about and secretly hopes that friendship will miraculously end in a relationship. You spend a lot of time together, sometimes you even have intimate moments – but that’s really all that happens. State that can occur at different stages of a relationship: for example, when feelings suddenly develop after a long friendship or already during courtship, when you missed the right moment for the first caresses.

How do you know you’re in the friend zone?

When you have a particularly close friendship, everything seems like “more could happen” soon. You are always there for the other person – whether they need help moving or just a shoulder to cry on. But despite this great intimacy and strong connection, nothing else happens. A firm hug to greet you and a kiss on the cheek to say goodbye.

A relationship feels distant, not even close for Friends with Benefits. At the same time, you get used to the condition, and yet you are no longer interested in other women or men. You only have eyes for this person, who you are so close to and at the same time so far away. Welcome to the friendship trap.

Ways to Get Out of the Friend Zone: 5 Tips to Escape the Trap



Precisely because a friend zone is a burden on your own psyche, you must definitely find a way out. And an exit does not necessarily mean a relationship – although this is obviously your greatest desire – but simply certainty. Because there are some tactics that can bring you a little closer to your crush, without falling into the house with the door and spilling out the heart of the person in front of you. Restraint is taboo, but you shouldn’t exert pressure either. Approach the subject cautiously and gradually change your behavior:

  1. Increase your own attractiveness
    How about a new outfit or a new hairstyle? Look chic for the next meeting. But it’s not just looks that count: invest in your career, exercise – you must become a busy person with goals.
  2. Make yourself scarce
    The second point arises from your busy life. You will no longer always be available and immediately have time. But it is precisely behind this that the attraction is hidden, because in this way you show that you are independent and increase your self-confidence. This, in turn, makes you seem a little more unpredictable and increases tension.
  3. Don’t Forget About Other Women and Men
    Whether you entered the friend zone as a woman or a man, don’t forget about other potential partners and keep dating. This not only adds to your experience, but also practices how to deal with other potential partners – and when in doubt, you can rely on some jealousy and fear of loss.
  4. Engage your counterpart
    Create adventures for two – and send targeted signals in the process. Here and there, deep eye contact, a charming smile and perhaps a compliment can make all the difference. But kissing like that is not possible! Start gently with tenderness and pay attention to the body language of the person you are talking to.
  5. Recognizing and Accepting Rejection
    If you struggle and still receive clear signs against a relationship, it probably means one of the following: Your girlfriend or boyfriend is not interested in a relationship. At this point, try an enlightening conversation. Certainty is always better than constant hope.

Escape the Friendzone and change your life

In some cases, the tips listed above can help you get out of the friend zone. But sometimes there just isn’t any substance to a relationship. You must accept this, draw a line under hope, and reorient yourself. Why not meet other women or write to other men as a distraction?

The next time you’re thinking about how to address women or what men want, the top answer is clarity. When dating, be honest about your goals from the start and avoid the notorious friend zone.