Confessing your feelings to someone is not always easy. Yet we all need to hear it. Where does this blockage come from and how to counter it? Elements of answers.
Blockage: where does it come from?
This blockage has come a long way. It is during childhood that everything is played out. People who grew up with very loving parents who kept saying “I love you” to them all the time have the same ability to express their feelings.
Conversely, those who grew up with very cold parents, who did not show them their attachment, reach adulthood with great difficulty in expressing what they feel.
The place one occupies within the siblings also has an impact. Indeed, the youngest who is still considered the darling, it is not a legend. If you are the oldest or the youngest, it is very likely that you have suffered from it and that it affects your emotional life as an adult.
Unconscious fear
Very often, when we are afraid to say “I love you”, it is because we are afraid of not being loved in return. The fear of being rejected prevents us from saying anything. We prefer to wait until it is the other who surrenders first in order to be sure of the reciprocity of feelings.
Maybe during your childhood, you said “I love you” to one of your parents and didn’t pay attention. It is a trauma that will always be present, that is why it is better to talk about it with a psychologist to dissect your injury and get to express your feelings.
This can only be beneficial, especially not to reproduce the same pattern with your own children. If you have suffered from your parents’ lack of affection, it is clear that you are going to do everything you can to ensure that this does not happen again!
The solutions
Beyond the need to see a psychologist to do some work on yourself, it is also important to find other ways to express your love for your spouse.
If you can’t say it, maybe you can write it down first? Gestures also say a lot about the love we have for a person. Show yourself caring towards your partner, surprise him, redouble your imagination to prove to him that, even if you have difficulty expressing your feelings, you are deeply in love with him …
