It was the result of a long process, but I finally understood that I had to stop running with those who do not deserve me. I understood that I had to think of myself first.
I’m gradually learning not to forget myself.
Because it is true that when we like someone, we tend to become someone else, to lose our mind and in fact, to forget ourselves.
We only think of one thing: to please the other and get their attention. And to do this, we transform. We do things that are not like us.
But should we really become someone that we are not to seduce a man? No, if the attraction is mutual, the man in question will want to discover who you really are and not who you pretend to be to charm him.
And in my experience, when we play this game, we often end up being satisfied with something that does not suit us and which certainly does not meet our expectations. We are content with less than what we deserve.
In this desperate enterprise of seduction, we very quickly find ourselves thinking only of the other. Think only of the things you can do to win your heart. Our universe only revolves around this.
We end up having to beg for a moment for two. To beg for a little attention and in fact, we forget our own goals and our own life.
We are questioning ourselves. We constantly wonder what the other person thinks of us. We gnaw at each other for details or things that live only in our imagination. We start to expect the worst, to live in fear that he will leave us, etc.
We wonder: “does he really love me?” “Will he leave me one day?”; etc.
And this is where our brain becomes our worst enemy.
By dint of questioning oneself, one has the impression of having no value. We convince ourselves that we are not worthy of being loved, that we are not good enough, etc.
In short, it is a vicious and unhealthy circle.
But now, by dint of reflection and suffering, I understood one thing. I can only count on me. My only strength comes from myself.
I also understood that seeking the love of others to fill a void in itself is useless. It is work that you have to do yourself, on yourself.
In fact, before you love someone, you have to love yourself.
I laughed for a long time in the faces of people who took out this ready-made sentence. However, this is a beautiful truth. To make someone happy, you first have to be happy and fulfilled yourself.
You have to focus on your life and make it beautiful, rather than relying on someone else to do it for you.
Over the years, I have learned to accept myself. It is necessary so that a man (and others in general) can accept you as you are. I understood what I was worth and I am able to enjoy life today without needing someone else’s approval.
I try to focus on myself and the people I love, my family, my friends, etc.
I hope to meet someone, the man of my life perhaps. But I believe it will happen when I am ready, at the right time. I no longer run after love, because I believe it is he who will find me.
In fact, I don’t want to get stuck in toxic relationships anymore. I don’t want to be forced to fix broken people anymore, in the hope that they may love me one day. I understood that it didn’t work like that.
I understood that love cannot be forced. If after spending time with someone, they do not develop any feelings for me, it is because there will never be. Yes, we might be able to pretend for a short while. And so what?
But be careful, I don’t throw stones at anyone. I went through it and learned my lesson. I suffered and that is why, today, I begin to approach life and love differently, more serenely too.
I don’t waste any more time, neither with liars, nor with infidels, nor with people who do not deserve me.
No, I’m waiting for the one with whom everything will happen naturally. The one who will have, just as much as me, the desire to advance our relationship and to pamper it.
We will make efforts, two. We will compromise. For our couple and not for any personal interest. I wait for the one who will not think only of him, but who will also think of me and us.
Because I will be wonderful in his eyes, as it will be mine. I will be his priority, as he will be mine.
I also understood that it was better to be single than to commit your heart to someone who does not suit me.
Of course, being single is not always a pleasure.
I always dream of meeting the man of my life. I am sometimes impatient and in a hurry. But I reason and I tell myself that this day will come eventually. I tell myself that one day, soon, I will be able to love unconditionally and give my heart without fear to someone who will be able to offer me the reciprocal.
I dream every night of someone who cuddles me, comforts me and accompanies me in good times, as in bad ones. But I believe that fate will do its job and put the right one on my way when the time is right.
But until I meet this man, I will be alone and that’s fine. I will follow my instincts and never get involved with a man who makes no effort to keep me. I will not lower my expectations to satisfy a man who is unable to take care of me and love me as I deserve.
Even if I am going through a difficult period, I have confidence in life. I have hope and above all, I believe in myself. I am surrounded by family and friends and I do my best to grow up and be a good person.
I slowly learn not to run after illusory love.
