We are constantly told that in relationships it is okay to make sacrifices.
When I knew this, I made sacrifices for you. But either you didn’t know it or you didn’t care because you didn’t sacrifice anything for me. I thought I needed you, that’s why I constantly left other things behind and gave up the things I wanted to give you what you needed.
Now I can see clearly.
Now I see that I am a stronger person than you made me believe and that I don’t have to sacrifice so much of myself to be with someone. Now I’m with someone who sacrifices as much for me as I sacrifice for him, and we’re both motivated by love.
The scars of my sacrifices run deep and they still touch me now.
The money I gave you to “buy a car together” that must have been in my name because I paid most of that money would have helped a lot in building the house I’m working on now. It would have paid for the baby supplies we need and whatever goes on around the house.
But this money I sacrificed for you. And despite your promises to repay me, I didn’t see any of it coming back.
Now every penny I earn goes into what I build for my family, and I’m proud of it. When I see the walls of our house go up, I feel the strength of a stable relationship where there are the two making the effort to make sacrifices, not one.
For a long time, I had the feeling that I was not good enough, that I had to meet your criteria to be loved. So, I even sacrificed my sense of style and my personal preferences to comply with your wishes, to try to make you happy.
But these feelings persisted. Even though I left you far behind, the thought that I might not be good enough has been with me for a very long time, I’m only starting to let go.
Now I’m proud of who I am and incredibly happy that I don’t need to make changes for just anyone unless I want to. So far I can focus more on being myself and improving myself to be the best version of myself for the person who loves and accepts me for who I am and who doesn’t force me to change.
The time I spent in our relationship will never come back.
Instead of making friends, I spent every spare second talking to you and spending time with you because you “needed” all of my time and attention. When I was trying to hang out with a friend instead of texting you, you got mad and threatened to break up with me, so I had to focus all of my relationship energy on you just to keep you.
But it wasn’t fair. And when the relationship ended, I had absolutely nothing left since all my time had been devoted to you and you alone.
Now I have someone who doesn’t take all of my time and attention, who is happy to have friends and encourages me to stay in touch with the other people who build me.
Maybe, in reality, you were so weak that you needed me to sacrifice everything for you.
If so, I’m sorry for you. I hope you find your inner strength like I did to stop taking everything you need from other people and start standing on your own two feet. And I hope that someday you will find someone you are willing to sacrifice for.