Since we all seek happiness, we try to minimize negative emotions. Having an impossible love is probably one of the most difficult romantic situations to overcome.
Indeed, we can sometimes succumb to the charm of a person who is forbidden to us, whether socially, morally, or ethically. There are different types of impossible love, but some can still turn into a beautiful love story.
Impossible love: what are the different types?
The reasons that make love hopeless vary depending on the circumstances, the best known of which are listed below.
One of the two people is already engaged
It is one of the most difficult impossible loves to overcome. Anyone who suffers can still hope that the person they want ends up leaving their current partner. We often fall madly in love with someone who is already in a relationship. Sometimes a relationship is established as lovers and this can last for years, and take place in secret.
If you are the person who already has a partner and you begin to fall in love with another person, this unachievable love becomes easier to achieve. Indeed, although it can be cruel, many people end up breaking up with their partner to leave with another. However, you need to ask yourself some questions like:
- Does it really suit you?
- Are there real possibilities between you, real enough for you to leave your current partner?
- Do you think it is fair to use the breakdown of such a relationship to establish another relationship?
- What should you prepare for next?
- What if you were wrong?
Also, if you are the person who is in love with a committed person, the suffering can be difficult to overcome. Each situation differs according to the context. It is possible that this kind of impossible love could lead to a true romantic relationship. It may also be fruitless.
Other circumstances are also possible. For example, your best friend’s partner is hitting on you and you like it too! The situation then becomes more complex, because you risk breaking your friendship, your friend’s relationship, etc … And, if you ever manage to go beyond that, you will always pass for the villain of the story in the eyes of others.
Family and social pressures: religion, ethnicity, economic level
The story of Romeo and Juliet is a perfect example of this kind of case. Sometimes we fall in love with someone who does not fit our social or family environment. You can be Catholic and fall in love with a Muslim, while your family may have a negative attitude towards certain cultures.
The reasons for this impossible love may vary, but it generally does not depend on the couple. If you fall in love with someone who needs you to adapt to their social or cultural environment, ask yourself about the origin of this request.
This person could be forced to impose conditions on you, because of their relatives, social status, beliefs, or culture. In some cases, this pressure is so strong that it could harm your relationship if you decide to commit. But, sometimes, love can be reciprocal and deep. You can be prepared to overcome everything together, to make your couple last.
Incompatibility of characters
The only real love without end is that of two people who love each other, but who cannot cohabit. You may be desperately in love with someone and be convinced that they are right for you, but for different reasons, your relationship may not last.
These can be work-related problems, a different outlook on life, divergent plans for the future, or a lack of understanding of each other’s needs. Even if you are in love with a person, ask yourself if they can make you happy throughout your life.
If not, it might be time to forget this impossible love. Indeed, the basis of a relationship is to want what is best for the other, as difficult as it may be. If you are not able to be happy together, it may be time to break up. However, be aware that incompatibility issues can be overcome. It takes willingness, understanding, and good communication.
How to transform an impossible love into an achievable love?
If your problem stems from incompatibility, here are some tips that could help you, if you want to turn unworkable love into possible love.
Ask yourself some questions
You don’t have to be 100% compatible for a relationship to work. If you are on the same wavelength in the fundamental points of a relationship, it will be easy for you to overcome the difficulties at the level of the couple. You should ask yourself some questions, such as:
- What makes us compatible?
- What is the natural state of the relationship?
- Are we compatible with our fundamental values?
- What are our differences?
- How to agree on the whole relationship?
It is important to be able to identify the core values on which you can agree and those on which you have difficulty finding common ground. You then need to assess why this value is so important to you. If your partner can adapt to and understand your needs, the problem can be easily overcome, and vice versa.
Imagine your life in 5 or 10 years
Imagine your life with this person in five to ten years, when the passion of the beginnings is no longer omnipresent. If you have completely opposite goals and/or values, it is likely that your relationship is not made to last. A healthy relationship involves compromise and a shared vision of future life.
Know where you are
If you are in love with someone, but you question your compatibility, you must ask yourself what type of problems are preventing you from living together. Before drawing any hasty conclusions, it is wiser to know where you really are in the relationship.
Be honest with yourself and your partner
Although you will never agree on all levels, you will have to learn to compromise with your partner. If you don’t succeed, the relationship cannot succeed. Women often make the mistake of imposing their points of view and they end up suffocating their partner.
To build a strong couple, you need to find common ground, although you are not always on the same page. But know that there is no perfection in love.
Men’s reactions are not always the same, even when faced with similar situations. In the event of a dispute, they can take the lead and take the first step. But sometimes they can sulk for days.
So, it is not in the first months of cohabitation that you will see that your partner is incompatible with you. Be patient! When the same facts tend to happen again, try to communicate to find a way to change bad habits. But if nothing helps, you can deduce that your love may not be made to last.
Know your partner’s expectations
It’s not just your requirements that count! Your partner also has his own values, his principles… If he doesn’t tell you anything, it may be because he is shy or displays a communication problem. Find out if their expectations of you and your relationship are realistic.
Focus on behavior
Everyone has their faults! If the flaws that hurt you are anchored in your partner’s usual behavior, it will probably be difficult for him to change them. But nothing is impossible in love. It’s up to you to encourage him to change and show him your support in this process.
Ask instead of imposing
Most of the time, your partner is not deliberately trying to harm you. But instead of submitting your point of view, try to find out the reasons. The goal is to prevent the same problems from happening again.
Your goal is to solve the problem, not to win a battle
Each couple has differences! When problems do arise, you shouldn’t try to stand up to each other. Indeed, the ulterior motives will be established, as well as the grudges. Instead of trying to find out who is right and who is wrong, it is better to find a lasting solution to the situation.