Is He There for You When You Need Him?

There are many telltale signs if a guy is potential with you for the long haul.

One of the biggest – how does he react when there is a crisis in his life?

Is he there for you when you need him or does he prefer to walk away?

When a guy prefers  (or chooses) to be distant when you really need emotional support, it’s pretty clear that the long term isn’t in the cards for you.

If he claims he sees a future with you, but isn’t there when you need him, you need to ask yourself, “Do I really want a guy who is so selfish?”

A guy who says he takes care of you needs to be there during the big and not-so-big times – anything less is unacceptable.

Why would you want to be with a guy who just wants to be with you during the good times?

No matter how positive you are, no matter how hard you try to live your life in a good way – bad things happen, it’s part of life.

If a guy can’t be there for you through the good times and bad, again, why would you want to be with him?

I’ve dated men who were there to give me emotional support when I needed it, as well as some men who didn’t.

I can tell you this; not having a guy there for me when I needed him was very painful – emphasizing that actions really do speak much louder than words.

Regardless of how much a guy told me, over and over again, that he really liked me, the real test of those “feelings” was whether or not he was there when I needed him.

Sometimes you have to go through hard times in your life in order to realize if a guy really cares about you, or if he’s blowing smoke up your ass.

I understand that not everyone handles tragedy or crisis well, however, there is a huge difference between being there – even having a guy just hold your hand and hug you, instead of being too busy to pass the time or physically being there. , while withdrawing completely emotionally – carefree and unsympathetic.

The day I found out my grandmother had cancer was devastating for me.

Trying to wrap my head around the word “Cancer” and then link it to my grandmother, a person I love with all my heart felt so surreal and unimaginable.

When I shared this information with a guy I had been dating for several months, he seemed very disinterested and frankly, quite out of touch.

He was more interested in Facebook as he was scrolling through the phone, looking at posts while I was pouring my heart out.

When I was opening up to him about my fears and concerns – needing his emotional support, his reaction was, “Okay, okay, yes, this sucks.”

Oh, really?!

Who doesn’t have the decency to at least give someone their full attention when a word as scary as Cancer comes up?

He didn’t.

That was the day I realized the end of our relationship was happening right in front of my eyes.

This wasn’t the kind of man I could see myself with for a long time.

Once that vision was clear to me, there was no point in continuing the relationship.

As I expressed how rude he was being and that I couldn’t believe that getting on Facebook was more important than what I was sharing, I realized that if he really saw this relationship going to the next level in any capacity, he would be there. for me emotionally as well as physically.

If a guy has fun when you need him most, it’s usually because he wasn’t fully attuned to the relationship, to begin with.

I’m not saying the change will never happen, but it shouldn’t happen when you’re clearly upset.

If he genuinely cares and realizes he’s turning off you during a period of emotional pain, he’ll call you quickly, doing everything in his power to be there for you.

Life will never be bells and whistles all the time.

There are likely to be some emotional roller coasters along the way that will test any relationship, making it stronger or possibly destroying it.

In my situation, it separated us.

Fortunately, not all men are like that, and I’ve met many who are the complete opposite…

one guy in particular definitely outshone the others.

A guy who can tell something is wrong by the tone of his voice, and shows concern is a guy worth keeping.

Not too long ago, I had an unexpected personal crisis that suddenly came into my life while I was on the phone with the guy I’m currently dating.

Just by hearing a difference in my voice, he could tell something was wrong with me.

As our relationship at that time was relatively new, I was hesitant to want to share what had happened.

I feared scaring him off, so I quickly got off the phone with him and called my best friend for advice and comfort.

I’ve learned that the right guy doesn’t get scared or turn off easily.

The guy I’m dating was more in tune with my emotions than I realized.

The moment we spoke again, he made me feel comfortable, safe and supported.

I was able to share with him what was going on without fear of his reaction.

His genuine concern made me feel good – and it didn’t stop there.

Before I knew it, he was on his way to my house, standing by my side when I needed someone the most.

The expectation of having a guy there for you when you need him will obviously vary depending on how long you’ve dated.

As time goes on and feelings develop, “Is he there when you really need him?” If the answer is no, you may want to reassess your true intentions.

Women, having a guy there for you – being fully present and giving you a shoulder to cry on, an ear or a hug, is amazing, even more so when it’s not expected.

A guy who sees potential in a future with you will be by your side through all the clichés… thick and thin, in sickness and in health as well, in good times and bad.

For any relationship to grow and move to the next level, it’s imperative to not just have open communication…

but also being available to each other.