It is very easy to confuse love with submission, idealization, and magnifying the partner. But it is not love if it hurts you, it is not love if it controls you. Emotional dependence in couples is not love, it is a toxic obsession. These relationships are unstable, destructive, and highlight a strong imbalance.
A person with emotional dependence has very low self-esteem and does not seek love but rather flees from loneliness. It is not love that you feel but fear of being alone, fear of staying with yourself.
Dependence is a toxic emotion and only leads to toxic relationships. These people become controlling and suffer but still cannot walk away from that kind of relationship.
Let’s look at some details of emotional dependence versus love.
1.- They do not love each other and therefore do not tolerate being alone with themselves
Emotional dependence in love relationships is more common than we imagine. We believe that our partner has to make us happy. We call it my everything, my world, without you I am nothing.
When in a relationship there is no freedom, it is not love, it is a toxic obsession. You have to be with me to make me happy. I have to know what you do every minute to be calm.
2.- Emotional dependence in couples means living better without effort
To get closer to love you don’t need another person. You simply love yourself, determine what you deserve, seek it out, and achieve it. In this process, you choose a person to share your life with. You keep your freedom.
A toxic person does not care about his happiness or his progress. Her partner has to make her happy and absorb her in her progress. But he never finds satisfaction and speaks of love as suffering.
3.- It is not love and it hurts me if faith is blind and there is nothing to negotiate
When there is dependence on couples there is nothing to negotiate out of fear. So it’s not love, it’s a toxic obsession. When the relationship is not seen as adaptable to the needs of both, it is toxic love.
On the other hand, when true love is lived, the adaptation is continuous. Both, each one in his time has to give in, adapt, learn, tolerate, invent, laugh. When the relationship is dynamic it is love, if it is rigid it is dependent.
4.- Emotional dependence on love is not well-being but an obsession
When there is dependence it is not love, it is an illusion in your thinking. What matters is not the well-being of both, but the obsession. The dependent person expects his partner to meet all his expectations.
As no one can meet other people’s expectations, suffering, complaints, and claims begin. When love is true, the most important thing is the well-being of both. They adapt to that achievement.
5.- Loving a person is very different from wanting what that person offers
What makes you happier, true love, or emotional dependence? Love is spontaneity and positive emotions. Emotional dependency is waiting for your partner to satisfy your obsessions.
Love is accepting your partner as he is. On the other hand, emotional dependence is waiting for your partner to complete your life to make it better. But that is not love, it is a toxic obsession.
6.- If there is no flexibility and tolerance, it is not love, it is an obsession
To overcome the emotional dependence on romantic love, one must give way to flexibility and tolerance. When there is love, everyone is free to build their happiness in their own way.
In emotional dependence in couples, the important thing is a routine to meet the needs of the dependent. If this routine is not followed, the emotional discomfort is very strong.
7.- My emotional dependence on my partner damages my self-esteem
When love is true, your self-image is positive and as that love progresses, your self-esteem improves. That is, true love makes you feel better and better about yourself.
On the other hand, emotional dependence in couples’ relationships damages your self-esteem. Every day, or with every incident, you feel bad about yourself. Your partner does not meet your expectations, you feel bad.
In short … emotional dependence is an addiction and toxic love.
It is not love, it is a toxic obsession, it is emotional dependence in couples
1.- They do not love each other and therefore do not tolerate being alone with themselves
2.- Emotional dependence in couples means living better without effort
3.- It is not love and it hurts me if faith is blind and there is nothing to negotiate
4.- Emotional dependence on love is not well-being but an obsession
5.- Loving a person is very different from wanting what that person offers
6.- If there is no flexibility and tolerance, it is not love, it is an obsession
7.- My emotional dependence on my partner damages my self-esteem
