You really want to live with him. But sometimes there is a gap between wanting and being ready. Before packing, give yourself time for a final (little) reflection. Take stock with the 8 questions below, 8 keys that promise a happy cohabitation.
1. Are you ready to commit?
Living together is simply getting involved in your relationship and signing up for a romantic relationship on a daily basis. Once we make common furniture, we cannot leave each other like that. We can no longer play sulking for a few days without responding to his messages. In short, to live under the same roof is to be aware that you are in a relationship of grown-ups and make the promise to be there, for better… and for worse.
2. Are you ready to share your privacy?
Sharing an apartment means sharing intimacy and sometimes abusing your modesty: we go to the bathroom, we wash each other’s underwear, we throw our tampons in a common trash can. Then we also see each other on “without” days. Without morale and energy, with pajamas and loose hair. Here we are naked, completely transparent. But not invisible.
3. Are you ready to take it as it is?
Our man has habits: evenings organized around football and friends, endless late mornings on weekends, series watched until late … Living together is doing with the lifestyle of the other. Together, we compose, we find a rhythm, we fit two dailies that will become one.
4. Are you ready to stay independent?
So far, we dance on Tuesday, we have dinner with our girlfriends on Thursday, we organize solo evenings in front of our favorite movies. The big goal when you live together is to continue to lead your life while sharing it with someone. Because the danger is to suffocate and to act only according to the other. We keep in mind that the prettiest thing is to find yourself in the evening in the same bed.
5. Are you ready to create a routine?
Together, we find a rhythm, a rhythm which very quickly becomes akin to routine. This routine has nothing negative – as we often hear – when you know how to apprehend it. It is a set of benchmarks that solidifies the couple. When we settle down together, we must feel ready to transform our relationship, to move towards this daily life which sometimes will give us the impression that the days follow and are alike. Regardless, this daily life is a necessary basis in which we will slip pepper here and there.
6. Are you ready to talk about money?
Before even filling the shelves, we discuss loan or rent. Then very quickly, we do our accounts: the shopping, the plumber, the work in the bathroom, and the oven that has just released us that will have to be replaced. Money remains a delicate subject that we rub shoulders with without any other choice. Before getting started, we, therefore, make sure to be ready to talk about finances, while remaining clean. We can even expect to open an Excel table which will annoy us greatly. But essential.
7. Are you ready to be held to account?
Even if everyone retains their independence, living with someone requires accountability. We no longer go out without specifying the time at which we return and we no longer invite friends unexpectedly. To live under the same roof is to make this roof a meeting place. And when we make an appointment, we have to organize ourselves.
8. Are you ready to make room?
We make room in the fridge, on the shelves, in the cupboard, and in the shower. When we live together, even if we need to see our books and candles every day to feel at home, we realize that the other may need their Platini poster to be in total relaxation. So we make compromises: I have three scrubs in the shower but I accept that your cat spreads a little. After all, it’s your world that made me want to live with you, right?