When you are in love, you want to give a perfect and ideal image of your couple. We tell whoever wants to hear it that we are in osmosis with our partner and that we cannot imagine our life without him. It is said that it is perfectly normal to be addicted when you are in love. In fact, we are trying to give a romantic and intimate meaning to this co-dependence.
Even if, very often, when we speak of love we tend to use need, want and love as synonyms, these terms are actually very different. Besides, to have a healthy romantic relationship, it is very important to know the meaning of each. We can not put these words in the same bag simply because it suits us or because we want to pass his couple for a complete relationship at all levels.
Of course, it’s completely normal to need someone when you’re not feeling well or when you’re going through difficult times. At one point or another in our lives, we all need a shoulder for crying, support or advice. Sometimes, the mere presence of our partner can help us to put things right and make the decisions necessary to improve their situation.
But, if you need someone all the time, it becomes a problem. At this point, it is co-dependence, pure and simple. This means that you are not able to live without the other or make decisions (even if they concern only you) without the approval of your partner. However, it cannot constantly meet all your needs and, after a while, it will feel like you are suffocating.
Certainly men like to feel useful. However, there is a difference between a woman who asks for help from time to time to carry out “male” tasks or have another opinion on a given subject and a woman who absolutely cannot function without her partner. The term sticky cannot even describe the behavior of this kind of women.
Addiction and the need for possession
Needing and wanting someone are two different things that can have a negative impact on your romantic relationship. When you need a partner, you show that you are not able to face life alone and face daily challenges without the help of anyone. Some people have the uncontrollable need to have their other half constantly present and to do everything with this person.
If you ask them, these people won’t even be able to tell you when they last faced a problem alone. Very clearly, it is not love! When you need someone this much, it means that without their presence, you simply cannot live or exist. In fact, very few people are able to meet this need.
In general, the needs are unlimited and having one person responsible for their fulfillment is very dangerous. In fact, you use the other and that does not necessarily mean that you are in love with your man. In fact, many people stay in toxic relationships for months or even years because they don’t get the love they need elsewhere.
But, once they find another person to meet their needs or when they discover another source of satisfaction (for example a friend or a new passion), they end their relationship because they no longer have any need. The ease with which these people break up with their partner is the greatest proof that needing and loving someone are two very different feelings.
Wanting someone is a term that means that you have a deep desire to own that person. In a superficial and immature way, you just want it to be yours. This need arises when you are not satisfied with your life. Your weaknesses and incapacities push you to fill the void in your life by “acquiring” a partner.
This need to want someone can also arise from an uncontrollable attraction. Suddenly, you are captivated by certain qualities of a man and you absolutely want to attract him in your nets so that he is yours. You need to get it and use it as a trophy, in front of all your friends. Again, this is not love!
Love relationships that are based on what you want cannot last because, during your life, you change. You are not always going to want the same thing. Today you want a caring man, tomorrow someone ambitious and in three days you will want an ace-full partner. We all change over time so our desires too. Thus, a relationship that is based entirely on what you want is not made to last.
Where is love hiding in all this?
We tend to say that human beings are selfish creatures. Thus, many believe that when we are in love, there must necessarily be a reason. The man we chose would imperatively meet some of our needs. We feel fragile so we would opt for a robust partner. We don’t make a lot of money so we would choose someone rich.
Apparently, we would couple with someone to fill some gaps in our life. Besides, people who form a couple by believing in this are very often persuaded to be in love. But this is not the case ! And, over time, they themselves realize it.
Love is only that, love! In its purest, simplest and most honest form. Take, for example, your family members. Can you say why you love your parents or grandparents? No ! Why ? Because love has no reason, no desire, no need. It exists because it is self-sufficient.
Love is finding your soul mate, someone who understands us and helps us become a better version of ourselves. Love is having the same vision of the future and accepting the other as he or she is. To love someone is to recognize their potential and push them out of their comfort zone to achieve all their dreams.
To be loved is to obtain the strength necessary to fight alone against your own demons. It is knowing that we always have someone who is ready to pick us up with a teaspoon if we fail. To be loved is to find pure happiness without conditions or prerequisites. Love between two people is a mixture of respect, admiration, passion and maturity.
Pure love gives birth to self-confidence, strength of character and ambition. This feeds the qualities of both partners and gives them the tools they need to work on their weaknesses and become what they have always dreamed of.
Love grows every day a little more. It becomes more beautiful and majestic and its foundations are solid like concrete. Whatever happens, the pure love you feel for your partner will never be questioned. When a man and a woman are in love, their relationship will last until the end of their days. They have neither particular needs nor desires which they seek to satisfy through the other.
