Stop for a second and take the time to think about the meaning of these words, their weight.
You will realize that for others, these are just simple words but that from the point of view of those who occupy this role, it is much more than that.
You will see that these words transpire the anxiety that we feel for his children and the tears that we shed when we do not know how to explain why Dad is no longer there.
They are full of sorrow, because of the dark place where you take your child every weekend so that his father can get him back.
A place where nobody goes, an almost deserted place because you refuse to let others glimpse the sadness of having to share your child with a man with whom you have shared everything, but who is today only a stranger that you have trouble recognizing.
These words are full of love, attention, sacrifices, late discussions, lack of sleep when your child is sick, double days, because you want to offer your child beautiful clothes and beautiful shoes, to let him be like the other kids.
You are terribly afraid that your child will feel different from his friends and that this will make him sad. So you do your best to make his life as similar as possible to theirs.
Because let’s be honest, it’s already different from them.
And at that simple though, it’s like your world is falling apart. You tell yourself that life is not fair and that you deserve better.
Then you realize that you don’t have time to be negative, because there is in this life, this little being who needs you so much and who, if you collapsed would find himself all alone.
Then, you burst into sobs, wipe away your tears and pick up where you left off. And you live like this, day after day.
Sometimes you would like to have someone by your side, not necessarily to take care of you, but at least for the feeling of knowing that he is there. But you realize that this man must really be someone special. Because only a man, a real one can conquer the heart of a single mother.
Only someone strong and able to accept you as you are will be able to conquer you and share your life.
But there are things this man should know.
He must accept that your child is always your priority. That is if you have plans, but your child gets sick, you may be able to cancel everything at the last minute.
Because you will always prefer to stay with this being that you have worn for 9 months, make sure that it fits well, rather than having fun with a guy who is not the perfect man.
If a man wants to conquer the heart of a single mother, he must understand that she does not like small games, except those that she plays with her child. She will not accept any form of abuse because she has already been emotionally destroyed, bruised and neglected. And she refuses for her child to see her again cross this ordeal. She prefers to stay single, rather than settle for less than she deserves.
She has no problem being harsh because she has learned that kindness and politeness rarely help you get what you want.
Men who feel the strength to go out with a single mother should know that she never gives a second chance. She has already given a lot and has only received disappointments.
Now she wants a love that lasts. She wants someone she can count on. She wants someone who is both a friend and a lover. Above all, she doesn’t want to be forced to change for him.
She has made a lot of effort to get where she is and she will not give up on this for the world. She wants someone who is serious and accepts her as she is.
He must know that even if she broke up with her ex, he will still be part of his life because they have a child together. And if he cannot bear that they see each other to talk about their child, it is not even worth it to try to seduce her. He must also understand that to accept her is to accept her child.
The least he can do for her, knowing that she will have the courage to open her life to her and her child’s, is, to be honest about her feelings. He must have a good heart, he must have the desire to stay (or not), but never to be in-between. She has already experienced pseudo-relationships and she does not want another.
She will not share her life with any man unless she is 100% sure that he is capable of showing kindness to her child. It will take a long time before introducing a man to his child. Because he is her universe and she refuses to let anyone hurt her.
She is ready to make efforts for the one who will be able to accept it as it is. She will be happy to meet a man who can make her believe in love again and show her that life is good.
She will be more than happy to have someone to turn to after a bad day. Someone to cuddle with and tell about their worst nightmares.
She, however strong she may be, also needs to be told that she is insuring and that she has done an excellent job, even alone.
She needs a man who will not run away at the first obstacle. She needs someone who has the strength to face the storms of life.
Only a real man can conquer his heart and prove to him that she deserves to be loved. She needs someone who understands that she was broken but still decided to love again with all her heart.
