Recognize and avoid emotional manipulation in the couple

Many of us see love as an exchange of affection and will, a balance between what gives and what is offered. If we give everything without receiving anything in return, we will feel emptied, manipulated, our self-esteem will decrease, and we will not be happy every day.

Emotions are those feelings that characterize us as human beings. Those wonderful emotions that can range from the most overflowing joy to the most devastating sadness. And we are rarely more vulnerable than when we are in love. It is therefore more normal to know, in the couple, what is called emotional manipulation.

How do I know if I am being emotionally manipulated?

It may surprise you, but emotional manipulation is not easy to identify. How is it possible?  Quite simply because of love.

Many people confuse domination and love. “My partner is jealous because he loves me” is one of the most common phrases you can hear and one that can cause a lot of problems in the long run. But, let’s dig deeper into the subject.

1. Your spouse is possessive

There are a lot of couples who like to do it all together. Outings, excursions… this is something very positive and necessary if however there is no “control” of one over the other.

Some people refuse to let their partner come out of the house alone, have their own friendships, and sometimes even have a job and professional life on their own.

Love is not shown by exercising control over another person, let alone forbidding them to do certain things.

In such cases, the following sentences are often heard: “Are you going to go out dressed like this?” »,« Why are you going out with this friend when you have me? »,« If you do that, it means you don’t love me. I give everything for you and you do not consider me at my fair value ”.

2. You gradually lose your self-esteem

Emotional manipulation primarily affects self-esteem. In a relationship, we give everything for the other person, we love them above all else, and we would do anything for them. All this is good and sincere, but you also have to know how to protect yourself.

If your partner puts their needs first and acts selfishly, you are going to suffer more and more as your relationship progresses.  You have to think of love as an exchange of feelings and wills, so there has to be a balance between what you give and what you receive.

If you give everything without receiving anything, you are going to feel empty and manipulated. Your self- esteem will drop a lot, preventing you from being happy on a daily basis.

3. You gradually lose your identity

Before being in a relationship, you had this circle of friends which made you happy, these life projects which offered you a radiant horizon. But, sometimes we can fall in love with someone we shouldn’t.

Love is something that we cannot control, that happens without warning and that makes us experience a whirlwind of intense emotions. Some people are not mature enough to maintain a healthy relationship, and instead of making you happy and helping you move forward, they slowly eat away at your identity.

They forbid you to see certain friends. Put the things they love ahead of yours, belittling what you do. They put you down, tell you that you are stupid, that you do not do certain things right.

In short, they infantilize you and change the happy, dream-filled person you once were.

How to avoid emotional manipulation?

To avoid emotional manipulation, be clear about your boundaries, how far you are able to go in a relationship. This limit is reached the moment you realize that you are no longer happy.

It’s pretty easy to understand, but some people, despite feeling unhappy, don’t end their relationship. Why? Mainly for the following reasons:

  • Despite being unhappy, they continue to love their partner. Moving on is always complicated and painful.
  • They fear loneliness. 
  • They are afraid that their partner will take the breakup badly.

Be courageous and responsible.  Ask yourself if you are ready to spend your whole life with someone who manipulates you for their own benefit and for their sole benefit. Someone who doesn’t respect you?

You may not dare to leave this relationship, but as soon as you realize how toxic it is, you owe it to yourself to weigh the pros and cons.

Look for support from your family and friends that will give you the strength you may lack to make the right decision. Ending a relationship is never easy and always hurts both people

But, remember that everyone has the right to be happy. And you still deserve the best. You deserve to wake up in the morning with a tranquil horizon full of dreams.

And we assure you that there are people who are capable of making you happy and showing off all that you are.