Almost everyone has one friend, colleague, or relative in their environment who jumps from one relationship to another and therefore exhibits stubborn dating behavior. As soon as one partner is gone, the next one is already at the beginning. But what does it mean when someone changes partners chronically without taking a “breath break”? The following causes provide information about the change-change-yourself game and advice on what you can do about it.
1. Why moving from one relationship to another is like seeking reassurance
One of the main reasons people get into a new relationship right away can be mainly a lack of self-confidence. Past injuries that have scratched or are still eroding self-esteem often prevent you from re-establishing a clear relationship with yourself. The request for acknowledgment and confirmation is growing high. For many, a lack of self-esteem can only be compensated for externally, that is, by a partner.
Tip: Start by boosting your self-esteem rather than changing relationships. Reflect on your strengths. Give your own interests, hobbies or sports more freedom. Above all, though, bring your self-love back into focus. There are now several books, exercises, and meditative rituals that aim to strengthen self-love. The goal is for you to find your equal partner on equal terms. Finding new love shouldn’t be about making up for deficits.
2. Does the fear of Being alone carry you from one relationship to the next?
There are people who manage to be very well on their own, but there are also others who have difficulties with it. The fear of being alone largely coincides with the fear of loneliness. These people are strongly focused on union and couple structures and yearn to belong. Only one partner seems to complete a person’s life. Not only do they need someone to cling to, they also need someone to care for, so they go straight from one relationship to the next.
However, this fear of the disconnected state can also take on counterproductive characteristics. Because in doing so, you put pressure on the other person. In bonding mode, partners are quickly deprived of their freedom. Many, therefore, try to free themselves from the clutches again, which results in a quick separation.
Tip: First, admit your fears. Ignoring them will just keep you in panic mode. Accepting the fear of facing it is the first step in the right direction, rather than starting a new relationship immediately after the breakup. Once you learn to accept your feelings, you can learn to let go of them.
The goal is to no longer see yourself only in co-dependencies with other people. Taking responsibility for yourself can even be a necessary state to relearn how to relate better to yourself. When you experience living alone as a valuable state, the negative feelings associated with it gradually disappear.
3. Lack of acceptance of being single leads to a change of partner
There are people who only see couples around them. The rest is deftly erased. Suddenly, a pattern emerges that forces you to act in order to be able to maintain yourself socially. You want to belong, have a say, and not be labeled a quirky long-term bachelor. To escape single status, you move from one relationship to the next. It’s almost secondary to know who the new partner next to you is. The main thing is that your relationship is recent.
Tip: accept your single life. As is well known, we always want what we don’t have right now. For many couples and spouses, being a happy single is the desirable goal. Enjoy the benefits and freedoms that are available to you. And focus again on people who are like you. This is how you can quickly turn stigma into a seal of approval.
4. The age of 30
In fact, the single seems to have a tight schedule from 30 onwards because the biological clock is ticking. For many people in this age group, you suddenly belong in the scrap yard. Pressure mounts when the desire to have children and family planning suddenly enter the agenda. Instead of taking your time seriously, the optimization craze is quickly resolved and the next best alternative is sought after.
Tip: take the pressure off. Instead of directly ending up in a relationship because the loved one is not yet ready to have a child, you should give the love some time before switching ad hoc from one partner to the other. When reviewing a partnership, you must also be willing to compromise if you want to be crowned in the long run. You may only recognize the right cap at first glance. Write down what you expect from a long-term relationship and focus on what makes that desire possible for you.
5. The inability to bond leads to scratchy attachment behavior
Lastly, the ongoing behavior of moving from one relationship to the next can also have to do with relationship inability. But this need not be assigned any disease value. Psychology describes the phenomenon of people moving quickly from one relationship to the next rather than reluctance to make commitments.
On the other hand, it can stem from the fear of loss. On the other hand, it leads to the fear of having to give up freedom. Examples of this are painful childhood experiences that manifested in rejection and little attention or an overprotected childhood that evokes feelings of suffocation and the need for independence in adulthood. Result: Partnerships often don’t last because these fears undermine the confidential relationship. Therefore, it seems to be pre-programmed to go from one relationship to the next without rest.
Tip: Get to the bottom of these feelings of fear. It’s hard to see an inability to relate in any way. If you find yourself constantly switching partners because you suffer from an attachment disorder, therapeutic help can be helpful in keeping this problem under control.
Conclusion: Are you jumping from one relationship to the next? – Give it a break!
It is not advisable to start a new relationship right after the breakup. Breaks are needed to get over the previous partnership and the headache. Find out what went wrong. This is the only way to learn from old mistakes and avoid repeating the same patterns over and over again. If you take the time to come to terms with yourself, you will increase your chance of attracting the partner of your dreams and stepping closer to your ideal of a stable partnership.
Put aside your arbitrary strategy of constantly shifting from one relationship to the next. Make it clear to yourself what you really want and go in search of a partner.