Is there a manual for a couple to work? Today, more than one marriage in two ends in divorce, sometimes even divorce before a year of marriage . And couples are separating earlier and earlier. In an age where everything is accelerating, where technology allows you to have access to everything and immediately, we have the habit of zapping continuously, for everything. And to move from one person to another as soon as something is wrong. These changes have made it a habit to give the couple and the relationship a chance to settle down. For a couple to work, it must be solidified.So how do you build a relationship? How can a couple really work? Here are 7 rules to follow for a couple to work.
7 rules for a couple to work
# 1 Share the same values
A couple functions thanks to the sharing of the same values as well as a similar vision of life and the couple. It is not a question of finding the perfect double in the other, but the values that make us who we are must be shared by the partner. Otherwise, frustrations and conflicts will inevitably arise.
It is important to be able to share and build a relationship on a common foundation. Otherwise, the relationship will look like a sandcastle. For this, it is enriching to complement and improve by drawing on the strengths, skills and qualities of the other in order to fill what is lacking with us. So or can provide balance to the relationship.
# 2 Trusting yourself: an important rule for a couple to work
Trust in the couple is an essential ingredient for the success of the romantic relationship. This ingredient cannot exist without honesty and loyalty. Indeed, it is by demonstrating these two qualities that one builds and builds trust with the other.
Being honest and faithful then constitutes a fundamental basis for creating a relationship of trust. However, other elements also contribute to establishing it. Having the possibility of confiding without being judged, demeaned or criticized also makes it possible to set the conditions favorable to an exchange based on trust.
Without this ingredient, the relationship will remain superficial, filled with doubts and fears. And it will end up looking like a dupe market.
# 3 One of the fundamental rules for a couple to work: Respect each other
Respect for others is an essential element of the couple. As time goes by we can tend to disrespect each other because we have become too familiar with each other. Have you ever noticed that it is with our loved ones, the people who matter most to us that we can be the most execrable possible? We sometimes tend to overstep the bounds of those who will forgive our mood swings, well we believe it. Too many times …
At the start of a relationship, we tend to take over and control our emotions. But little by little we no longer take the time to manage our emotions well. The problem happens when, little by little, we allow ourselves to be less pleasant towards the other. We get into the habit of talking badly and end up disappointed and hurt ourselves. The urge to make an effort disappears. This is how by losing patience you no longer respect the other and this can degenerate. To avoid this, you must always keep in mind the importance of respect. It is inseparable from love.
# 4 Know how to communicate well
Communication is very important in a couple . However, she must follow a primordial rule which itself refers to the previous rule: that of respect for the other. This respect in the exchange can be expressed in different ways. For example, you have to know how to use diplomacy so as not to offend the other. Saying something aggressively will only point your partner and prevent any constructive discussion.
It is also important to never keep negative feelings for yourself. If you don’t like something, communicate as soon as possible. This will help you avoid building up tensions and frustrations. Otherwise, they will come out sooner or later and very often in the wrong form when you can no longer contain them.
Communication also involves listening. For the exchange to be constructive, we must sincerely take an interest in the words of our spouse in order to be able to give them an answer directly linked to their concerns. Communication is therefore based on real sharing where everyone finds a space to express themselves.
3 other rules for a couple to work
# 5 Compromise: A must for a couple to function
This ingredient is to be used sparingly. Yes, it is important to learn to compromise. We cannot behave in pairs as we would do alone. To be selfish in a relationship is not to be in a relationship. Indeed, if everyone always does as he sees fit, nothing can be built. It is, therefore, necessary to know from time to time to take it upon yourself to please the other. By operating in this way, each one puts his own to promote the development of the other and therefore ultimately that of the relationship.
At the beginning of the relationship, it may seem easy to make efforts and compromises: you are madly in love, you do not know yourself very well yet, you want to show yourself in your best light, etc. But little by little you will not feel yourself anymore and will have the impression of thinking much more about the needs of the other rather than your own. Too many compromises translate an imbalance hence the importance of knowing how to balance and build your couple on common values, as seen above. This will avoid frustrations and disappointments.
# 6 Surprise yourself: one of the rules for a couple to work that too many forget
It’s normal to have some form of routine in a relationship. Indeed, it is healthy to have certain habits and benchmarks. The level of routine depends on each couple according to the respective personalities. Some people hate it while others like it. What is dangerous is a 100% routine relationship. Too much routine kills routine!
So how to fight the routine in the couple? To oxygenate the couple, it is important to bring some fresh air from time to time in the relationship. There are different ways to do this. For example, by preparing a surprise for another (a little romantic weekend), or even by offering to discover a new place , a new activity to undertake together. What is difficult is not to find something different to do, but to actually put it in place when everything seems so well organized…
# 7 Rise together
Whether through communication or actions, we support each other, we help each other. In other words, the forces of the other elevate you, make you better. Being in a relationship must bring more to both partners. If the relationship is not win-win then you will both lose in the end, as the lack of reciprocity will be felt too much. To win, everyone must be able to influence the other in a positive way .
Indeed, when we rub shoulders with a person motivated to take care of his physique, his relationships, his work, his morale, etc., this attitude can have a great power of influence on us. Be careful, if on the contrary, your partner pulls you down with bad thoughts and habits it is better to leave, because you would be better and better alone than in two.