Making a traditional relationship work is complicated enough in and of itself. But knowing how to keep a long-distance relationship alive can bring even greater challenges and difficulties.
In this article, I will give you the necessary tools so that the flame of love continues to smolder despite those kilometers that separate them.
Do long-distance relationships work?
It is impossible to generalize in an answer that distance relationships work or do not work. The answer, as in most topics involving human feelings, is a resounding “it depends.”
Distance is a difficulty that can be overcome when the couple actively works to keep the other sides of their relationship at an optimal level.
On the other hand, it will be very difficult for a relationship to survive if in addition to the distance it has other problems, or if it does not find an assertive way to face the problems derived from the distance.
In other words, the answer to the question of whether distance relationships work is: yes, but only when there is a lot of communication, openness, and not least, realistic expectations in the short, medium, and long term.
What are the main problems in a long-distance relationship?
The fact of not being able to hug and kiss your partner as often as you would like is without a doubt one of the disadvantages of a long-distance relationship, but it is neither remotely the only nor the most important.
When the other person is thousands of miles from us, strong feelings of:
1. Distrust
Despite the fact that lies are something that can appear in any type of relationship, whether in person or at a distance, we have the notion that it is easier to lie when we are far away since there are fewer opportunities for them to discover that what we say is not true.
If there is not good communication, it is much easier for mistrust to appear.
2. Insecurity and jealousy
From mistrust derives the direct suspicion that our partner is not being completely faithful to us or is having relationships with more people.
In fact, distrusting the fidelity of the other or discovering infidelity is the most frequent pretext for which a distance partner ends.
3. Infidelity
It is logical that the temptation to be unfaithful is greater when we are immersed in a relationship at a distance, simply and simply because that relationship cannot give us physical satisfaction that we could obtain by giving input to another person.
When we recognize that feeling in ourselves, we are forced to recognize it in the other, and jealousy increases.
Lack of joint plans
Although mistrust, jealousy, and infidelity are serious long-distance problems, people often don’t realize that the most serious problem is none of the above.
When the couple is separated, but there are realistic plans for the future, such as moving in together when either of you finishes college or save enough, it is possible to endure all the deprivations because you both know that, in a certain time, a little or a lot, finally they can be together.
A relationship that does not have at least one tentative date to meet cannot work and will end up breaking down under the pretext of infidelity or mistrust.
How to have a successful long-distance relationship?
There are three elements that are never lacking in distance relationships that do work:
1.- Communication
Communication is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship, but there are many levels of communication that go beyond the verbal.
In a remote dynamic, the parties often have to limit communication to text messages, which is much less rich and meaningful than face-to-face communication.
The tone of voice and expressions often give us contextual clues about the information that the other wants to convey to us, but when these are lacking, we need to be much more specific about how we feel to avoid misinterpretations.
2.- Trust
Trust in a long-distance relationship is an all-or-nothing issue.
When we only “half trust” our partner, it means that we do not really trust her and it really does not make sense to continue in the relationship because nothing she does or says will make us really trust 100%, since to a great extent it is a personal decision.
Just as you trust that you are going to be loyal, faithful, and well-meaning, you need to trust that your partner will be, too. This does not mean that you stop seeing red flags when they occur, but that you do not insist on seeing red flags all the time.
3.- Plans
When you are in a “normal” relationship, there is usually no rush to make future plans at first, and it is even better not to rush. But a relationship from afar means that they are so sure that they want to be with each other that they are willing to endure those miles while it lasts.
In other words, if you are not going anywhere in particular with your long-distance partner, it may be better for both of you to seek a more viable relationship close to you.
For such a dynamic to work, they need to have plans to get together seriously, preferably in the short or medium term.
How to maintain a long-distance adolescent relationship?
Relationships between adolescents, especially if they are at a distance, are more vulnerable than those between adults because young people are still discovering themselves and their expectations in a courtship.
Basically, the advice for having a long-distance relationship between adults is the same for adolescents, but in the case of the latter, it is necessary to give special importance to safety, especially if the members of the couple have never seen each other. face-to-face form.
Hundreds of teenagers are victims every year of fraudsters and people with bad intentions who seduce them with false profiles and even make them travel to other countries secretly from their parents.
In these cases, adolescents who fall for the trap are left at the mercy of individuals who abuse them in various ways.
If you are a minor and are getting involved in a long-distance relationship with someone you don’t know well, always notify your parents and never neglect your safety.
How to keep a long-distance relationship alive if you had a face-to-face relationship before
Oftentimes, couples who have a “normal” relationship, must face drastic changes in the life of either of them. For example, an opportunity to study or work in another country arises, or the family moves to another place in the case of adolescents.
For a relationship to survive something like this, it is important that both are very sure that it is indeed worth submitting to the deprivations and sacrifices that a long-distance relationship implies. For this to happen, they need to have realistic plans for the future.
Perhaps in a while, they will finally be able to move in together, or at least whoever left will return to the country. If there is no such expectation, it is best to end the courtship on the best possible terms.
Remember that the younger they are, the more difficult it will be for them to keep a long-distance relationship going.
How to maintain a long-distance relationship without knowing each other?
In the other mint, are the long-distance relationships that arise between individuals who have never met in person.
Every day it is more common for two people to establish contact through a chat, a social network or an online application, and although their geographical location prevents them from knowing each other, they begin to develop strong feelings for each other.
One of the main drawbacks in this type of long-distance relationship is that when we only know about the other what they decide to show us, it is easier for us to be deceived or to build an overly idealized idea of their personality or feelings.
As in any other type of long-distance relationship, the main factor for it to work is that the couple actually has plans to meet and interact more closely at some point.
Games for long-distance relationships
One of the most important elements of love is the playful component, that is, the ability to play, joke, and have fun.
In long-distance relationships, coexistence is less and therefore there are fewer spaces to fool around and laugh, so it never hurts to propose some dynamics and games that serve this particular purpose.
They can play guess what they are wearing, anticipate what the other is thinking, ask each other riddles and riddles, tell jokes, play an online game as a team, etc.
The possibilities are as endless as your creativity. What matters is that you never downplay the importance of having fun together.
As you can see, how to keep a long-distance relationship alive is even more complex than having a traditional relationship, but that does not mean that it cannot work if there is a will, communication, and trust on both parties.
