Dissatisfaction in a relationship can take place because the two members have different expectations. In such a case, it is important to realize it in time and assess whether it is worth continuing.
Have you noticed the increase in separations and divorces in recent years? In this article, we’ll tell you what the signs of dissatisfaction are in a relationship. You will be able to identify them and work to improve and avoid them.
This upward trend can cause concern, or be the way to make us want to engage with each other and avoid backtracking.
Dissatisfaction in a relationship: where does it come from?
From birth, emotional ties are very important for humans.
- An adult who has developed secure bonds during the first years of life has more opportunities to experience intimacy and comfort in a relationship.
- We must also take into account the image that each has of himself, within the couple.
- This means that, if we love each other, it is easier to interact in a positive way with each other.
- Conversely, a negative self-image is linked to rejection, addiction, and unhealthy jealousy. This can precipitate breakups and separations.
- Most marital problems arise from a “loss of freedom” of one of the two members. This indicates that one cannot act as one wishes and that one is tired of having to find a consensus systematically.
- On the other hand, we should not neglect the process of idealization that we all go through at the beginning of a relationship.
As this vision of each other’s perfection gradually diminishes, it is very likely that arguments and dissatisfaction will begin.
Signs of dissatisfaction in the couple
At the start of a relationship, we talk about love, passion, and connection. Over time, the words most used are commitment, tenderness, and security.
Dissatisfaction in a relationship can develop at any time. But especially when one leaves aside idealization or one begins to live together.
Here are some of the signs that we are not completely satisfied with our relationship. We must act to prevent these small differences from turning into a cause of separation.
1. Not feeling the support of the other
One of the most important benefits of a couple is feeling supported and supported. Whether at work, in a personal project, at the start of a career or in small things, how to change the place of furniture or cut your hair.
This does not mean that in order for one to feel good, the other must say “yes” to everything. But he must be by our side when we need him.
If lately, your spouse is not accompanying you or is not present during the important moments of your life, this may be a cause of dissatisfaction for you.
2. Arguing over trifles
It is true that when we live with someone, we have to make concessions so that everyday life is more harmonious and pleasant. But when any excuse is good for arguing, it’s not so pretty anymore.
Making a mountain out of a grain of sand is a sign of dissatisfaction. Because the argument is used as a loophole to say how we feel. To avoid this, communication is fundamental.
3. Deny everything
Regardless of the program, consistently receiving a “no” for an answer is exhausting. It can be an invitation to the movies, to dinner with friends, to a vacation or to buy a new car.
Systematic refusal is an alarm signal, which must not be overlooked.
4. Not having the same ideals
While it is healthy for everyone to have their own opinion on different subjects, there is one about which it is dangerous to think differently: the ideal of relationship.
If one wants to start a family and the other doesn’t want to have children. Or if one wants to travel the world and the other wants to settle in a place, things get complicated.
Moreover, when this ideal of a couple clashes with reality, what we see translates into dissatisfaction, but we also have an erroneous perception of the other.
We then become closed beings, in a bad mood or irritated by anything that does not correspond to our values.
5. Feeling that the other is “not contributing” anything to the relationship
When we move forward in time, we change our desires and goals. In the couple too. But, maybe one of the two stays in the previous state and it causes dissatisfaction.
For example, if one considers that it is time to get married and have children, and the other prefers a lighter life …
The development of the couple is fundamental and has a link with complicity, trust, respect, and of course, love. When one of these pillars has a loophole, it’s hard to feel comfortable.
6. The other decides for everything
It is when one of the members of the couple decides on the behavior of the other, without giving them the opportunity to choose or to think on their own. For example, demanding what clothes the other should wear, what foods to eat, or what work to accept.
The line between wanting to help and interfering in the life of the other is very thin, and you have to pay a lot of attention.
If someone is dissatisfied with what they have, they will look for a way to change it. How? ‘Or’ What? With the clothes he wears, the friends around him, etc.