Divorce and separation: free yourself and your family from emotional and physical shocks
When two people get married, the last thing they think about is divorce, despite all the terrifying statistics, everyone believes that their relationship will be the one that will stand the test of time. But sometimes, no matter how hard we try, things get out of hand. We go through all the stages of love and finally realize that the best way forward is to divide ourselves. Although divorce is one of the most difficult and stressful situations a couple can go through, sometimes it is unavoidable. Are you at that point? Are you wondering if you can navigate this difficult stage? Rest assured that you are not the only one, people are much more open to sharing their experiences than ever before to help you get through this stage as smoothly as possible.
While each and every relationship is unique, one thing divorce and separation have in common is the emotional and physical turmoil you and your family go through. Knowing how to get around these challenges will help minimize the damage you will cause at the end of the tunnel. How you choose to approach your divorce will determine the impact it will have on your life in the future. Here are some tips to help you survive the end of your marriage.
Divorce Tips for Stay-at-Home Moms
Stay-at-home moms are likely to feel the emptiness of a divorce more than busy moms, their routine gives them time to think, and this can easily lead to depression. They get lost in their thoughts while cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, and other tasks that allow them to multitask. As a stay-at-home mom, you may want to focus on the following.
1. Be honest with yourself
Something as difficult as divorce has a way of bringing out the worst in the best of us, there is no such thing as a good divorce and, as peaceful as you want it to be, there is no way to do it without messing up your hair. But in the midst of it all, it is important, to be honest, and be true to yourself. Do not act bad or regret or do things that you never do or that you will end up regretting. Ask yourself if you are being reasonable and doing your best to make the transition as smooth as possible. No matter what happens, be true to who you are and do it at all times.
2. Don’t go through it alone
Blocking everything is never healthy, that’s the quickest route to depression. Share your feelings, concerns, and worries with your family and friends, or join a support group where you can talk to people who are going through the same situation. As much as you want to be alone, isolation is not the best way to approach this, it is okay to be alone from time to time to sort out your emotions, but only for a moment. Prolonged isolation will only lead to stress and depression, talk to someone, seek professional help if necessary.
3. Explore other interests
This is a great opportunity to reinvent yourself, explore new things, and reconnect with the old things you enjoy. If you’ve always wanted to learn to play an instrument, try a new hobby, volunteer, go back to school, make new friends, or travel the world, this is your chance. Think positive and look forward to all the options that come your way. Create new activities for your children, create exciting new memories that will ease the transition for you and your children. It’s about filling the void in your life with positive and constructive activities until time can work its healing magic.
Divorce Tips for Dads
Dads are the ones that everyone expects to be strong, not to complain or cry, but they are human and they also have feelings. As a dad, you have to grieve and take the time to heal properly without losing sight of your role as provider and head of the family.
4. Recognize that it is okay to have mixed feelings
It is normal to feel angry, sad, exhausted, frustrated, and confused, all of these feelings can be overwhelming and make you feel anxious about the future. Allow yourself to go through all the different stages as they arise. Don’t try to ignore them, deny it, or jump into a new relationship to avoid feeling this cocktail of emotions. Men often act as if everything is fine and under control even when it is not. The healthy thing is to face them head-on, no matter how scary they are.
5. Give yourself a break
Don’t act like everything is business as usual, give yourself permission to be a mess, you won’t be able to be as productive as ever for some time. Whether it’s your job or caring for those around you, you’ll have to drop the ball a bit. Let yourself go and know that no one expects you to be at the top of your game during this period, you are not superman. Take a break and take the time to heal properly without feeling guilty about not being 100 percent compliant.
6. Keep kids out of this
Nothing makes an already difficult situation impossible like having little lives at stake. When children are in the picture, they come first. Your priority is not how you and your partner feel, but how the situation is affecting your children. Keep in mind that whatever your differences are, it is between the two of you, never drag your kids into that. No matter how old they are, leave them out of it. Unless you want to emotionally harm your children, don’t badmouth your partner in front of them, don’t ask them to take sides, just assure them of your love and support.
Divorce Tips for Working Moms
Running a career and family is never an easy feat, add a divorce or separation to the mix and it becomes a catastrophe of epic proportions. Here’s how to handle this without having a nervous breakdown.
7. Take all the time you need
Time is the only thing that will help you heal, there is simply no way around it, you cannot advance the process, I wish you could, but unfortunately, that is not how it works. Going through a divorce is difficult and scary, so don’t rush or push yourself to move on or get on with your job, take as much time as you need to recover. No matter what other people who may have been divorced tell you, every situation is unique. Whether you like it or the divorce does not change you, there is no way you can remain the same after such an experience, but it is up to you to choose the changes that you allow, positive or negative, everything is in your hands.
8. Don’t feel guilty
Guilt is a huge factor in all divorce and separation cases, especially when there are children in the picture. As a parent, you feel like you have failed and let your children down by dividing your family. It is normal to feel this way, but do not let it delay, remember that it is better for your children to have happy separated parents than together and miserable. Although we all wish happily ever after when we get married, the truth is that people, circumstances, and relationships change. Forever is never guaranteed and that’s okay, it’s all part of being human. As long as you know you’ve done everything you can to make it work, everything will be fine.
Divorce tips for a partner who was cheated on
Betrayal hurts, especially when it comes to someone who has sworn to appreciate and protect you. However, how you respond is entirely up to you. What can you do when your division is the result of a cheat? We have some tips.
9. Reduce your anger
Anger and resentment are two constant companions that accompany you in separation and divorce. When a marriage breaks down, no matter whose fault it was or even if it was mutual, one partner always feels cheated and used. And when one spouse actually cheated it is even worse, the other spouse is filled with anger, pain, and feelings of betrayal that run deep. What you want to do here is put your feelings aside and be practical, don’t let your emotions guide your actions, be kind, respectful, and focus on a peaceful separation.
Pointing fingers and spreading blame is never a good idea, although easier said than done, try not to take it personally. Avoid power struggles and arguments with your ex. If an argument turns into a fight, take a step back or calmly walk away. The only way to have peace of mind is to let go.
10. Forget about revenge
If there’s ever a chance that you will slip into the dark side and become a serial killer, that’s when you’ve been misled. You find yourself feeding feelings of revenge and thinking of ways to make your partner feel the same pain they have inflicted on you. Hitting them, slashing their tires, ripping all their clothes, dumping their car down a ditch, think of it all. As long as it’s still a thought, you’re fine.
It doesn’t matter how hurt you are; never take care of revenge, let karma take care of it. Revenge may seem like a good idea at the time, but it really isn’t – you won’t get the satisfaction and relief that you think it will bring. Only time heals and with a little effort on your part, you can spend this time building yourself.
Whether you want it or not, a divorce is sure to change you, but you may decide to view this as a period of self-discovery, an opportunity to get to know your new self and nurture yourself to be who you want to be. Explore new hobbies and try new things, fall in love with your new you. Take care of your mind and body by incorporating exercise, healthy eating and relaxation into your routine. Try to avoid making big decisions or drastic changes in your life. Do not consume alcohol, drugs, cigarettes or start a new relationship as a way to cope; it will only lead to more problems.