Couples can present different types of conflicts that can make or break the relationship.
Life as a couple is a challenge, there is no doubt about it. It is not always a fairy tale where the days are fun and rosy. There are times when the strength of both is tested to face difficulties that put the relationship in check.
Remember that the existence of problems or discussions is not necessarily a synonym that the relationship does not work, but rather they are moments in which the ability of both to solve them, learn from them and move on is resolved.
Therefore, in this article we will emphasize the importance of resolving conflicts as a couple and show you which are the most common and which most affect coexistence. Have you been through any of them?
Why is it important to solve relationship problems?
Many people mistakenly believe that a perfect relationship is one where there are no discussions of any kind and where both can coexist in peace, pleasing the other. However, this is out of the question. Every couple goes through numerous disagreements that arise as a result of adjusting to being in a new relationship and the little misunderstandings of the day to day.
This is because, despite a great love involved, both people are still unknown and, therefore, their ways of life, beliefs, ideals and positions are different. So when they come into contact it is normal that there is a certain rejection of something that can be considered an ‘imposition’, that is why negotiations are carried out to reach a middle point where both can benefit.
Most common problems that exist in couples
Now that you know the importance of solving couple conflicts, it is time for you to know which are the most common that are generated .
1. Frequent clashes
Although it is common for there to be continuous differences in the couple, when they go to a greater degree and become strong confrontations, it is synonymous with the fact that there is a greater problem developing.
It is a sign that there is little trust, poor communication and lack of adaptation in the couple , causing in the future stress to accumulate, increase the intensity and reasons for fights, reaching difficulties in solving them due to lack of motivation and weariness.
2. Bad communication
Communication problems are the most common conflicts in the couple and, although they are the most expected, they are also the first to bring the relationship to an end. Maintaining a good dialogue is essential to be able to express the emotions that both of you feel regarding something specific, in addition to making your opinions, disagreements known, and handling appropriate negotiations to obtain favorable results for both of you.
However, when there is no good communication, either because empathy is not shown, because one’s needs are always placed above or because emotional blackmail is used . Misunderstandings and unnecessary conflicts are generated that are very difficult to resolve because there is no willingness to reach an agreement.
There are those who believe that jealousy is a sign of the love that one person has towards another, since they are in constant fear of losing them and only want their full attention for themselves, but … what happens when they limit themselves to it the freedom of the other person? So that’s when people look at the negative side of jealousy.
The reality is that jealousy is a natural response of the body to a threat , but once it is discussed, the discomfort is reduced. However, in some people insecurity only grows with each act of their partner, leading to mistrust and harassment towards privacy and even, in more extreme cases, violence.
4. Own insecurities
Speaking of insecurities, these are also common causes that lead to recurring conflict in relationships . It is normal for a person to feel uncomfortable or untrustworthy at the beginning of a relationship, as they are adjusting to it. But when this is maintained for long periods of time, the couple feels as if they are walking on thin ice, avoiding bringing up topics or doing actions that may annoy the other.
This can also lead the couple to distance themselves, avoid creating plans for the future, create tendencies towards victimization in order not to take responsibility or accuse the other of not being empathic enough to understand and make the other feel safe. Remember that achieving happiness is the responsibility of both of you and you should start by giving yourself self-love, instead of submitting all the responsibility to your partner.
5. Unrealistic expectations
Unrealistic expectations are the main source of disappointment in the couple , since they feel that they have not fulfilled their role as they supposed or imagined they should. However, it is not a fault or a deception of the other person, but a fallacy that has been created in their mind about what their partner should do and what they should grant them, even when there have been no promises involved. or behaviors that indicate it.
These unrealistic expectations can generate not only arguments and disagreements in the couple, but they can also become unfaithful, in search of ‘something better’ that they probably will not find, since reality will never fit the image of perfection that is in their mind.
6. Difference between values
Values are very important for each person , since it is the way they perceive how to relate to their environment. However, the couple may not share the same values and this can lead to significant arguments and differences. It can be an impediment, especially, when it comes to starting a family and raising children, since they will not be able to reach an agreement about the ‘best way’ to do it.
Another conflict that it originates is the disrespect for the personal opinion of the other and the little openness to reach a middle ground, because it is considered that one’s own values are the correct ones and the only ones willing to accept.
7. Little time sharing
Couples need to spend quality time alone, this helps to reinforce intimacy, trust and get to know each other in a much deeper environment, as they become familiar with the way of perceiving the other’s world, their customs, routines, hobbies, strengths they possess both and the weaknesses to work with.
But when this shared time does not exist or the individual time of each is given higher priority, this adaptation does not occur and the relationship reaches a point of stagnation due to the distance generated.
8. Bad interaction with family
Getting along with the couple’s family is a necessary aspect for the relationship itself to work, however, this is not always possible and therefore multiple problems arise.
The family is the main nucleus of a person, so it is necessary to get involved with them to create a sense of belonging. When this cannot be done, the person may feel perpetually uncomfortable with in-laws, refuse to be close to them, or become upset when their partner spends time with their family.
9. Lack of support
Your partner should be your partner, your guide, your handkerchief of tears, your unconditional support in all the projects that you want to do in your life and vice versa, since it must drive you to be better every day and celebrate your achievements. Therefore, when this kind of support does not exist in the couple, it is very common for one of them to be demotivated , disappointed and end the relationship, because they feel that instead of moving forward they are only stagnating.
10. Different projections for the future
Formal relationships always have a common goal that they want to fulfill together in the future . But this does not always happen in all couples, since each one can have dreams or goals that go in completely different directions. This can lead to the breakdown of the couple if a mutual agreement is not reached on the actions to take that can benefit both of them.
11. Economic mismanagement
The economy is a sensitive point in the coexistence of a couple , since it becomes a responsibility to assume daily and any expense can represent a difficulty for the economic balance. For this reason, when there are no agreements on the management of the financial environment in common, the other’s money is not respected or only one spouse assumes the responsibility for the economic maintenance of the home, conflicts arise that can be difficult to resolve.
12. Past traumatic events
The past weighs heavily on our perception of the world and also on the way we maintain our personal relationships, affecting and weakening them.
It is important to clarify that, if a person is not ready to have a relationship due to a previous bad experience or feels constant insecurity about himself, he may not be able to maintain a good quality as a couple. And this is so because their fears, discomforts or resentments will be manifested in the relationship.
Although it is necessary for couples to maintain an adaptable routine to be able to generate a good coexistence between them and their lifestyle, the absence of changes or dynamism in the day to day can get to bore both of them and even generate the feeling that there is already love, interest or importance between the couple. This can lead to conflict, guilt and infidelity that undermine the good harmony that existed in the past.