How about a magic formula, ready-made to make the couple last?
Yes, but no, there are none…
Loving yourself goes without saying, but making your love last, no! On a daily basis, we have a thousand opportunities to prove to our darling that we love him. Love needs to be nourished by gestures and attentions.
What are these benevolent behaviors to adopt within your couple to make it last?
* Key number 1 = Take care of yourself
Women have this annoying tendency to think of others first and then, if they have a little time left … they will volunteer, right?
Between work, children if you have them, cleaning, shopping, family, I am convinced that you have no time for anything. And especially no time for you.
I think it is a mistake to neglect oneself for the benefit of those around us. If you don’t take care of yourself, who will? Doing so damages your self-esteem and therefore your relationship.
On the contrary, if you allow yourself time, to do yourself good, you will feel beautiful, confident in yourself, rested, batteries recharged.
So what would make you feel good? Going to the hairdresser, a mani-pedi, a massage, going to the cinema to see a good romantic film? Go!
Taking care of yourself also means taking care of your appearance. I agree with you, yoga pants are super comfortable, but not super s**xy.
Tired of crossing paths with yourself in front of the mirror with this big shapeless sweater? Or without makeup? The faded gradient?
Being in a relationship for years is no excuse for neglecting yourself. But if you find yourself attractive, there is no doubt that your partner will find you attractive.
Feeling good about yourself is the guarantee of a fulfilling love and s**xual life.
So be a little selfish, it is for the good of your couple!
* Key number 2 = Do not take the other for granted
I think this is the great drama of our era. Once I was talking about this with my girlfriend Charlotte, and she looked scared when I told her that seducing her boyfriend continues well beyond the phase of knowledge, meeting and “hunting”.
She sticks to her pilou-pilou as of Friday evening, and bless heaven to no longer “be on the market”.
But she risks finding her way if she takes her boyfriend for granted. Be careful though, don’t forget to seduce your husband !
You met, fell in love, matured together, went through and overcome problems, tasted the joys of living together, perhaps even built a family.
You know everything about the other, his ways of reacting, his faults, what he will say before he even opens his mouth … do not get used to these presuppositions.
Let yourself be surprised, listen. Do not think that your guy will stay there always glued to you because he put the ring on your finger…
I don’t want to be alarmist, I just want you to realize that people evolve, tastes change and that it is important to adapt, to continue growing together.
Take each day that you both spend as a gift. Twenty-four additional hours to get to know your partner better, to be a better partner yourself.
* Key number 3 = Speak, speak, communicate!
Isn’t this the major difference between humans and animals? We have the gift of speaking, we might as well take advantage of it!
Really, I implore you, do not miss the slightest opportunity to exchange with your life companion. Speak, think twice, ask his opinion, never stop going to him to share a feeling, a state of mind, a problem.
Let him know your needs, your desires. He will not guess if you do not tell him what you have in mind.
If he has a way of doing it that hurts you, tell him. Be specific.
A declaration – of war – such as “you are selfish” will lead to nothing . Instead, say “I feel bad when you …”.
Start with the “I” which shows that you are expressing your feelings. Starting a sentence with “you” is an aggressive reproach that will put him on the defensive and not make him open to dialogue.
Also, never go to bed without talking about something that bothers you, if you’ve had an argument, make an effort to say “good night” and try to fix the problem … don’t fall asleep angry.
Speak, and know-how to listen.
Small basic play on words, I agree.
I am not talking about s**xuality in this article, but of course, it is important … hence the com-mu-nick! Pillow reconciliations are an old thing like the proven world!
* Key number 4 = Do things together
If you are a couple of today, it is because you both love or have spent time doing things together. No doubt you have lots of common interests.
To make the couple last, it is important to multiply moments shared together.
Rediscover the pleasure of doing these things together, whether it is a walk, a workshop, a course, a sport, going to the cinema or the theater. Share this activity, experience sensations, discuss what you have done.
Be careful, spending more time together does not mean being close to others! On the contrary, open up to the world around you, to the people with whom you enjoy spending time, who are positive.
Spend time, together, with other couples, why not. Offer dinners, outings, hikes with friends that both enjoy.
* Key number 5 = Be patient
Surely you have already heard the following proverb ” Patience is the mother of all virtues. “
I know that sometimes it can seem like torture, but patience is one of the precious keys of a lasting and solid couple. Especially in disagreements.
Very useful advice that I can give you is to count to seven (at least…) before destroying your partner by answering him during an argument .
Note, this also applies when you feel that you are very upset: day of work *** at work, closed nursery, RER strike … want to spit your venom on someone and … poor unhappy, bad place bad time, c is your darling who will take!
It’s not his fault, he has nothing to do with it.
If on the contrary, he is the one who spent a bad day, he attacks you for no reason: let the seven seconds pass before answering anything.
As seen earlier, listen to him, put yourself in his place, and always try to calm things down.
If you haven’t read it yet, I recommend Gary Chapman’s bestseller: the “ Five Languages of Love ”. Each of us needs to be loved in some way. What are your language and that of your partner? What are you going to put in place so that harmony is always present within your couple?