Knowing when to shut up and when to speak is surely among the best skills we can develop
“Whoever drinks a lot ends up drowning”. Perhaps you have heard this ancient saying before that encloses universal truths that we should learn, and reminds us of our ancestors, like most old sayings. How many feelings do you have to keep quiet in your daily life? How many feelings and thoughts do you keep to yourself?
You do this so as not to hurt or offend the person in front of you. However, be aware that by doing this, you end up hurting yourself. In this article, we will tell you about the consequences of such an attitude towards yourself.
1. Who keeps silence keeps power
The Silence is a wise decision. It is always very suitable when faced with an inappropriate comment or an unsuitable expression. Indeed it is always better to choose silence and to act with more intelligence than one who speaks without thinking.
However, we must know how to maintain a balance between silence our feelings and defend our needs:
If we are silent about our feelings and thoughts, the person in front of us never knows what hurts us, or if they are crossing certain limits.
Nobody is perfect. So if we say out loud what seems wrong or offends us, the people around us can take it into account.
There are wise silences and wise words.
Knowing when to shut up and when to talk is surely one of the best skills we can develop. It is not for all that, to always keep silent his feelings. Or on the contrary to always say what goes through our mind, without keeping anything secret, because extremes are never good.
Try to maintain a certain balance. But never forget that silencing your feelings can also hurt you. Indeed, by doing so, you allow others to enter and make your personal space vulnerable, to go beyond the limits, to speak for you when you are silent, to choose for you when you remain silent.
Ultimately, you will be nothing more than a puppet guided by others.
2. Unspoken words become psychosomatic illnesses
You will not be surprised to learn that the mind and the body are intimately linked and connected. In fact, specialists have agreed that almost 40% of the population suffers or has suffered in their lifetime from a psychosomatic illness.
Nervousness, for example, impairs our digestion, generates diarrhea or the classic headaches. Many cold sores result from high-stress processes, nervousness, and fever. Thus, we must not neglect the fact that silence what we feel and what we think causes in us a strong anxiety.
Think about all those words you don’t want to say to your parents or friends so as not to hurt them. They do things for you thinking they are helping you. When in reality it makes you feel bad.
Why don’t you dare to tell the truth? Also think about your spouse, whom you don’t want to offend, when at times he behaves badly and hurts you. And yet you still choose to shut up your feelings.
All this will translate sooner or later psychosomatic illnesses, of migraines, high blood pressure, chronic fatigue, etc.
3. Say what you think out loud
You don’t have to be afraid to listen to yourself, let alone be heard by others. Because it’s something as necessary as breathing, eating, or sleeping.
Emotional communication is necessary in our daily life to establish healthier relationships with others and, thus, with ourselves.
Here are some basic keys to achieve this:
Think that everything has a limit
If we don’t say out loud everything we think and feel, we won’t act with dignity, we will lose self-esteem and control over our life.
First of all, realize that it is a right to say what you think and what you need.
Saying what you think is not hurting others
It is standing up for yourself and thus informing others of a reality you need to know.
Don’t obsess over how others react
Now, if you are very concerned about what other people think, you can prepare for possible reactions.
An example: you no longer want your parents to come to your house every weekend. Because you have no intimacy with your spouse. So you have decided to tell your parents that they stop coming so much.
How do you think they will react? If you think they are going to get upset, be prepared to reason with them as well and tell them that there is no reason to get upset.
If you think they are going to feel hurt, also be prepared to tell them that they shouldn’t be feeling that way and argue about how you feel.
Saying what you think and feel out loud is the best way to release yourself emotionally. Practice this wisely, and take care of yourself.