Falling in love with the wrong person and then suffering the harsh sensible consequences is something that has happened to practically all of us. It is one of the most painful things we can face and, unfortunately, it happens in a very usual way to some.
But it is not a fortuitous situation: it has a reason to be the one that we ignore each and every one of the alarm signals until we reach the point of no return. Today we will tell you why the same thing happens to you always and in all circumstances.
5 reasons that lead to falling in love with the wrong person
It is not strange that you like superficially or at first glance a person whom you do not really know well. In a short time, you realize that for whatever reason they are not compatible and that’s it, it is no more than a temporary disappointment.
But apparently, to truly fall in love, people need time, coexistence, and reciprocity. So how possibly even in this way do you end up loving someone who is obviously not for you?
Here are the 5 most common reasons why we fall in love with the wrong person:
1. You follow a psychological pattern
If you have learned from childhood that love equates to suffering, it is very possible that you will go ahead and attract toxic patterns without realizing it.
For example, if you have been surrounded by despotic and imposing men, in adulthood you could unconsciously search for these kinds of profiles for your romantic relationships; although it is not really what you want or what you need.
The same applies to active interdependent, violent or excessive. Although there is a great cosmos of potential partners who would value and care for us, deep down we are “programmed” to fall in love with precisely those who harm us the most.
2. You idealize people too much
All humans have defects and virtues, but certain people are too prone to forget the defects of another when they start to like you. This leads them to fall in love quickly and also unconsciously.
The more feelings they develop, the more and more they idealize him, to the point of persuading themselves that he is the true love of their lives. Sometimes they do not even need the loved one to give them signs of reciprocity or even sympathy.
If this happens to you, you have not really fallen in love with real flesh and blood human, but rather with a perfect idea that only exists in your head.
3. You seek to compensate for your deficiencies
If you feel that you are not a very attractive person, you probably have a tendency to fall in love with others just because they are beautiful. Or if you have never been in a good financial situation, purchasing power may be a factor that leads you to feel that you love someone.
In both cases, falling in love does not derive from a real affinity, but rather from the need to compensate for an affectionate or social, real or imaginary lack.
It is very common to see, to serve as an example, that those who have a very weak ego fall in love with people who have an overly inflated ego or a certain level of fame and recognition.
4. You have very low self-esteem
When we don’t consider ourselves capable of inspiring love and respect in another being, we settle for literally anything.
So, anyone who gives us a little attention and affection, even if it is not the kind of couple that deep down we would like, makes us fall madly in love since we are convinced that it is the only one or the only one who is going to love us.
Those who do not love themselves practically always and at all times fall in love with exploited people who only employ them and then discard them. The worst thing is that the moment this happens, instead of realizing that they got rid of a toxic person, they become depressed and miserable.
5. You know very few new people
It is perfect to be expected to fall in love with the wrong person, when you don’t know enough people and cannot match between different genres of personalities.
If your social circle is very limited and you are totally in love with someone who leagues is not convenient or does not touch you, the most likely reason is simply that your outlook is very small, not that there is something wrong with you.
If you give yourself the opportunity to travel and do different things with different people, it is highly likely that you will quickly forget that supposed “great love”.
Consequences of loving the wrong person
Falling in love with the wrong person does not have serious consequences, as long as you realize it in time and do what is necessary to forget it. But if the situation extends too long and you stay with that obsession for months or years, it is practically certain that:
– Your self-esteem will end on the floor.
– You will begin to think that you are not worthy of the love of absolutely anyone.
– You will lose valuable opportunities to love and be loved by others.