Self-love is fashionable now. And rightly so. Self-love is, after all, ultimately what drives you to gain a solid sense of who you really are by celebrating beauty and the freedom to be true to yourself.
But I realized that there was a very thin line between self-love and self-destruction. Some of the most common misconceptions about self-love are the result of excessive overcompensation for our absence. In turn, we cover it with vanity and superficial nuances and we say to ourselves, “There is nothing wrong with placing you first. How often are hard-hitting and predicating quotes presented out of context and turned into dangerous excuses for us? shitty human beings when you feel like it?
We have become addicted to a rather twisted version of self-love. Self-esteem that imposes. A love of self that is only active when there is an audience. And it’s not good. Loving yourself is not a one-time thing. Genuine self-esteem cannot be induced by a drug, a compliment, or a meaningless relationship.
Self-love is not a mood. Self-love is not a mask you wear. Do not make a nasty pit of self-hatred and hatred of the world and call it “self-love”.
Self-love is not exclusive.
Be present with what you do and while you do it. True happiness is not about placing conditions on what you get and what you give. “If I receive this increase, I will be happy. It could get terribly frustrating when things don’t go as planned, but get to know when it’s time to stop, take a deep breath and say to yourself, “It’s bigger than me.” “
But when that happens, keep looking for the knowledge and the means that meet your values and goals. You may not be there yet, but you will be much closer than you were yesterday! It’s like that.
Self-esteem doesn’t leak when shit hits the fan.
I have no respect for people who claim to love themselves, but at the time when things get complicated. Honestly, who benefits from “opting out” automatically when things “don’t work anymore”? It is selfish and youthful. Do you love yourself enough to know that you deserve better. This means that if you have a problem, learn how to solve it.
Self-love is not a one-off achievement.
It is a special way of experiencing yourself. I’ll tell you right away: it’s a hell of a lot of hard work. Life will continue to throw all kinds of bullshit at you. The challenge is to keep progressing when everything takes you away, to learn to accept facts rather than deny them. It means continuing to be responsible when everything around you forces you to do the opposite. How it goes: “Life does not consist in waiting for the storm to pass, but in learning to dance in the rain. So find the rhythm, you will learn to love the song.
Self-love is not fair.
Know what you don’t know and balance it with what you know. Speak the truth and practice what you preach, even when no one is looking at you. Be comfortable with the lack of audience. If you need viewers to validate how you honor your commitments and the values you say you admire, you need to wake up. You really only see what people want you to see, and the world will never be short of people who say they are one thing and do another, but please. Nobody has time!
Self-love is not defensive.
Know that you and only you control your choices and actions. You are responsible for your well-being and the achievement of your goals and dreams. Understanding your own value means knowing that not everyone will be able to see it. But when you make a decision – sacrifices and everything – it’s all about you. No one else is responsible for this. And yes, often, whether you like it or not, you are going to need the help of other people to achieve your goals, and when that happens, learn to offer your help in exchange. “Frequently, not everyone has the same thing. Everyone is satisfied.
Self-love is not odious.
It is important to be authentic in our relationships with others, but it is equally important to know that you are not perfect. Confidence plays a huge role in self-love, but it ultimately is what it is: “It’s not” everyone will love me “; it’s “not everyone will like me, but it suits me.” But dear, remember: when someone doesn’t love you, it reflects their character. The way you react, however, is your image. Defend yourself appropriately, in appropriate contexts. “Putting yourself in the foreground” does not justify any negative judgment about the person who wronged you.
I am not an expert in self-love, but I have been on this journey for a while. I hit a few dead ends, took several bad turns, but you know what: I learned that self-love is a will to own, live and take responsibility for my thoughts, feelings and my actions.
It’s hard. It is an active job. And it’s built over a long period of time, in the right frame of mind. But … it’s worth it. If it was not built over a long period with the right frame of mind, what would it be if it were not … totally useless.