What do the masterpieces “Les Liaisons Dangereuses” and “Titanic” have in common? Their love story of course. But not only. Because it is the Viscount of Valmont and Madame de Tourvel, or Jack Dawson and Rose DeWitt Bukater, the narrative scheme is also identical. On the one hand, the young woman of good family thirsty for adventure, on the other, the free and rebellious boy, and therefore (fatally) irresistible. But it is not only in books or films that we find this kind of attraction.
Indeed, according to Gretchen Rubin, author of the book ” Four Tendencies “, these two types of personality would be promised to live a great love story … including in “real life”. In her book, this American expert explains that there are four main distinct personality types : conciliators, questioners, combatants and rebels. According to Gretchen Rubin, it is precisely the conciliators and the rebels who are most likely to “match” in terms of romantic relationships.
Aspire to the same form of freedom
By collecting and analyzing the responses of several couples, Gretchen Rubin indeed found that these two types of personalities were particularly willing to get along, although their mode of operation was, at first glance, radically different. One of the most characteristic personality traits of a “conciliator” is knowing how to serve others and do what is expected of him. But when it comes to meeting his own expectations, he finds it more difficult to take action.
The rebel will free himself from all forms of waiting, both vis-à-vis others and vis-à-vis himself. “However, these two types of personalities have one characteristic in common. Both have a certain reluctance when it comes to demanding things from themselves. This gives them the feeling that the world around them is putting pressure on them. , which they both want to push back, “says the author to MyDomaine .
As an example, the expert quotes a couple where one (the conciliator) wishes to skip the traditional Sunday lunch but guiltizes at the idea of derogating from his family “obligations”. His partner (the rebel) then makes him understand that he does enough for his family the rest of the time and that, and that it is completely legitimate to want to spend his weekend in love.
The rebel’s nature therefore encourages the conciliator to do things for himself, which the latter probably would not have done on his own initiative. When this relationship is not exercised in the context of manipulation or an abusive relationship , the two people are therefore on the same wavelength and their opposite characters become complementary, since they ultimately aspire to the same form of freedom. An argument which, in this specific case, supports the famous saying that ” opposites attract “.