The first impression you make on a first date is vital for that relationship to flourish, and that is precisely what makes them such an uncomfortable event. But in the same way that the image you give is important, it is also important that the other person interests you and that you see a relationship with them as possible.
To find out if this is the right person, everyone focuses on asking about their tastes, hobbies or work, to see if there is compatibility. But there is also a question that you can ask to know if that relationship has a future and that can reveal a lot about the other person.
The best question to ask on a first date
On the first date, you may not know very well what to talk about, or you may have a thousand questions you want to ask to find out more about who you are facing. It is normal to want to meet the other person and find out if there is compatibility or if you have a connection to be able to start a relationship.
But if you really have an interest in it and are looking for something serious, you may want to avoid wasting time and find out if the thing can really work. Now we know that you can save yourself the questioning and find out if the thing can have a future with just a simple question.
According to marriage counselor Robert Maurer, there is a very fast and effective way to predict whether the relationship will be successful, and that is by asking the following question: “How does a wonderful person like you stay single?” Maurer explains that this question is so cliché and that a priori may seem very simple, it can actually reveal a lot about the other person.
So it doesn’t matter if he has a sense of humor, what he does, or if we have things in common. What can really reveal something about the future with that person is the answer to this question. One of the reasons this is the question to ask on your first date is that, for one thing, the other person will take it as a compliment. On the other hand, your reply will be very revealing.
And what does that answer tell us?
And how do you know? Well, our quote’s answer to that question will tell us a lot about how your relationships have worked so far. Anyone can make mistakes on a date or even come off as the perfect match. But knowing how they have managed past relationships will be a good indicator of how this person can function in future relationships.
When the other person talks to us about their last relationship, what are they really telling us? When you explain why you are single, do you tell us that you have made the wrong choice? Are you taking responsibility for the failure of your last relationship? Maybe that you were not ready to maintain a relationship?
In Maurer’s opinion, if our date tells us a story in which she is only shown as the victim, you should flee. If the person does not take any responsibility for the failure of their previous relationships, it can be a symptom of narcissism.
Relationships and their development are usually a thing or two, so it is very likely that both people have had some responsibility when it comes to cutting off the relationship. Therefore, if you are one of those people who only blames others because their relationship is not working and does not show the slightest hint of self-criticism, it is a red flag for us to stay away.
The key to a successful relationship
What would be a good answer then? According to Maurer, some research suggests that the key to a successful relationship is the ability to manage and solve the problems that the couple has. Therefore, someone who only holds the other person responsible for the failure in their relationship will hardly try to solve and fix the problem.
Ideally, therefore, our appointment would present itself as a person capable of analyzing problems and making self-criticism. Someone who would show interest in conciliation, rather than blaming the other person. This would be an indicator that you are someone who takes responsibility and is willing to put in the effort to make the relationship work.
Therefore, do not forget to ask this question on your first date if you have any interest in formalizing a relationship with that person. This will be the best predictor to know if the other is ready to maintain a new relationship and if it is someone with whom you can prosper as a couple.
