It is not necessarily infidelity and arguments that lead to a romantic separation. Indeed, there are gestures that we women believe to be good for our married life. However, these gestures have the effect of a time bomb in our relationship. But what are we talking about, exactly? We are talking about curiosity.
Concerned or curious: What is the difference?
Women often have this tendency to want to know everything. This is by no means a defect. It is even considered a quality. However, wanting to know everything can have a very negative impact on a relationship.
All men appreciate when we care about them and how they feel. However, men do not really appreciate that one interferes a little too much in their personal intimacy. More concretely, hustling them and emphasizing their feelings can hurt them. And that could push them to take refuge in themselves.
So, in a relationship, you have to differentiate between being curious and being caring. You are concerned when you first consider your spouse and how they may feel before acting. You are curious to the extent that you want (at all costs) to know what is troubling your partner, without thinking of anything else.
Still don’t know the difference? You still wonder why being curious or worried can save your couple, or, on the contrary, lead to a romantic separation? You will understand better by reading the following.
When your curiosity becomes a problem
Understanding men remains a real challenge. You should know that men can be of a changing nature. Their behavior, when faced with a problem, can change overnight.
Sometimes they confide in us of their own free will, and other times, they prefer to close in on themselves and not talk about what is troubling them. Also, during a couple argument, they can openly say what they feel, or, on the contrary, can turn in on themselves.
Since women are curious by nature, they do not always tolerate being ostracized. We absolutely want to know what our partner thinks or feels in his moments of silence. We tell ourselves that we have to talk about it and we insist on getting answers.
Talking can, of course, help resolve the situation. But your partner may not be ready to talk about how he feels. And it is precisely there that curiosity becomes the source of problems. This can make things worse, further forcing your partner to take refuge.
Imagine that when you argue, you almost always reconcile the next day. But this time, your partner has been bothering you for 4 days already. And he seems determined to make this silence last. Curious, you only want to know what is happening to him. And there, you bombard him with a ton of questions and remarks:
- ” What is happening? “
- “Why are you still mad?” “
- “Don’t behave like a child!” “
- ” It’s ridiculous! “
- “You don’t want to talk to me anymore, right?” “
- “I don’t understand why you care so much about it!” “
- “I’m sick of you making my head go!” “
And so on.
More often than not, you will receive the famous answer which arouses your curiosity more: ” Nothing “. When you hear that, you tend to ask more questions:
- “If there is nothing, then why do you keep fiddling?” “
- ” Nothing? I can see that there is something! “
- ” Are you kidding me? “
- “So why don’t you talk to me?” “
And so on.
Sometimes it gets carried away and rattles you. The argument then begins again, and you find yourself at square one.
Your partner has closed in on himself. Your curiosity will not help matters. This will only cause him to become more withdrawn, which will certainly cause a change in his feelings, as well as his behavior towards you.
In addition to arguments, your partner could also change their behavior because of a problem at work, a delicate situation with their loved ones … Overnight, you notice that he is no longer the same. Concerned about your relationship, you want to know what’s going on.
But, he doesn’t say anything, or he dodges the subject. Curious, you insist that he confides in you, because you think that you are the only one who can help him. By dint of insisting, either you create an argument, or you push him to take refuge further.
On the road to romantic separation
Your partner doesn’t say anything. You are relentless to let him say what he feels deep inside. In a couple relationship, the pressure is not always well perceived in men. Insisting that he share his feelings with you could have the opposite effect.
In other words, you believe that putting pressure on him will make him confide in you. But it simply risks sinking further into the bottom of the bag. It can sink so far that the communication between you can be permanently altered, to the point of causing, in the long run, a romantic separation.
On the other hand, striving to make him say what he feels could directly lead to arguments. And by that, I mean that everyone will be staring, in their corner, for a long time. Your partner will return to square one: close in on himself.
Admittedly, when your partner is withdrawn, this does not mean that you are heading directly towards a romantic breakup. If you do not know how to deal with this kind of situation, you will run straight into a relationship riddled with communication problems and misunderstanding. This will then lead to quarrels, which will turn into intolerance.
How to avoid breaking up your couple?
Because of their pride and pride, men hate being harassed, even on something that you think is minimal. If you do not want to experience a romantic separation, you must make sure to balance your actions and gestures when he decides to take refuge in himself.
In case of withdrawal, do not try to make him say what he feels or what he thinks. Ask him a simple question. Show him that you know he’s not doing well. To do this, you just have to say sentences like ” I find you worried “, ” you seem concerned “, ” Is everything ok?” », Etc …
Your behavior and your tone also play an important role in pushing him to open up to you. Do not hesitate to enhance your remark by adding words of love, or by calling it by its preferred nickname. Likewise, talk to him with a nice smile, to show him that you are worthy of his trust and that you are ready to support him.
If he always says ” nothing “, don’t insist. Rather, cheer him up with something he likes to show him that you support him. Be patient. Sooner or later it will open up to you.
You now know that curiosity can, to excess, become a great defect, and risks leading to a romantic separation. Learn to be patient, to stimulate your partner well, and to put him in confidence so that he can always confide in you serenely.