When you’re in a relationship, it’s natural to want to spend a lot of time together, but you also need time apart in a relationship.
The main purpose of a relationship is to be together, right?
You want to see each other, go out, travel, etc.
But, time in a relationship is vital.
Spending a lot of time together can create a lot of tension, especially in a romantic relationship.
What Does Time Apart In A Relationship Mean?
By a time gap, I don’t mean that you should try to have a long-distance relationship or not talk for days at a time.
The time span in a relationship will be different for everyone.
For some, that might mean having a night out with his girlfriends and him with his friends once a week.
It can mean making “me time”.
For others, it might be a trip with their friends for the weekend.
Spending all your free time with your partner can put a lot of strain on your relationship.
It can even make you lose your independence if you’re not careful.
What Happens If You Don’t Spend Time Separated in a Relationship?
Have you ever gone on vacation with a friend and by the end you were tired of her?
They may not have done anything wrong, but some of her habits are starting to drive her crazy.
So much so that you don’t want to talk to her for a week afterward.
That’s what can happen when you spend too much time non-stop with someone.
Instead of appreciating each other and looking forward to spending time together, you get irritated by little things like constantly changing channels on the TV or snapping your fingers.
If you don’t take even a few hours a week away from your partner, these little annoyances that shouldn’t really affect your relationship can get in the way of the happiness you would otherwise have.
Reasons You Need Time Apart In A Relationship
Without a time, every part of your life depends on your relationship.
And instead of enjoying your time together, you get bored or irritated.
But, if you’re still not convinced, take a look at some of these reasons why you need time in a relationship.
1 . You need to miss each other.
This may seem silly, but missing each other, even if just for a day, can offer a lot to your relationship.
You may have gotten used to living with your partner who started to take you for granted.
Time apart in a relationship can rekindle that excitement of wanting to be together instead of something natural.
2 . You Can Create Good Anxiety And Anticipation To See Him.
Expecting to spend all your free time with your partner makes all the time you spend together predictable.
But when you have time apart, you can look forward to your next date night.
Anticipating not only to see your partner but also to do something fun together keeps things interesting and prevents a routine from forming.
3 . You Make the Most of Every Moment.
Long-distance couples make the most of every second together because they know it won’t last long.
And if you put more time into a relationship, you’ll start doing that too.
Yes, it’s nice to be with your partner while you’re resting or shopping.
But after some time apart, you interact more with each other.
Sitting together watching TV and fiddling with your cell phone is not making the most of your time.
4 . You Can Focus On Yourself.
Long-term relationships can cause each partner to lose some of their identity.
You become so dependent on your partner and your relationship that you forget who you are for yourself.
But when you take the time to focus on your hobbies and yourself, you give the relationship more.
If you get lost in your relationship and it ends, you fall apart.
You need a part of yourself to exist outside of the relationship.
Separate time maintains that independence.
5 . You Can Focus On Your Friendships.
I’m sure you have those friends that disappear whenever they’re in a relationship.
They cancel plans, they are silent in a group chat and you don’t hear from them unless their boyfriend is out of town.
You don’t like it, so don’t do it.
Depending on your partner to fulfill your life puts a lot of pressure on him and the relationship.
Having your friends to confide in and unwind with or just relax with is vital to a healthy relationship.
6 . You won’t have to go through a painful time-out from him.
I know the thought of a potential breakup sucks.
But if you’ve made your partner your whole life, the breakup is a thousand times worse.
Without time apart in a relationship, breaking up is terrible and painful because you will have to readjust your entire life.
So not only is time beneficial if things don’t work out, but it can also prevent things from getting that far.
I’ve seen many couples get to a point where they break up only to get back together a few days later.
If you spend a reasonable amount of time apart, that temporary breakup won’t go to your head and make you suffer.
7 . You are taking care of your relationship.
If you water a plant too much, it dies.
If you suffocate your pet, they will move away.
Sometimes the best thing you can do to nurture your relationship is to give it space.
Simply spending a few nights a month alone or with your friends can give your relationship some much-needed air.
8 . You Realize What Is Important.
When you spend a lot of time with someone nonstop, little things that aren’t important weigh on you.
You might hate that he drinks from the box or leaves beard hair in the sink.
After spending time apart, these little things become trivial.
Over time, you realize that the good things outweigh these little flaws.
9 . Allows You to Reload.
Just like parents needing to go out at night while the kids are at home with the babysitter, the break in the relationship allows you to recharge.
While you may love every minute together, a little break can make you both feel refreshed.
Everyone needs a tiny vacation every now and then, even from what we love.
10 . Makes Your Life More Balanced.
Having all your happiness depend on your relationship is unhealthy.
Taking time out in a relationship to focus on your hobbies, friends, exercise, or even shopping can help maintain a balanced, healthy lifestyle.
When your life is more balanced, everything is better, including your relationship.
How to Spend Time Separated in a Relationship
Now that you know why it’s so important to spend time apart in a relationship, you might be wondering how to go about it.
You don’t want to hurt your partner’s feelings or seem distant, especially if you often spend time together.
So how do you spend time apart in a relationship without causing any problems?
1 . Tell the truth.
It may seem harsh but take it gently to your partner.
Let him know that you enjoy spending time with him, but you’re worried about being overly dependent on each other.
Remind him that you’re not taking a break, just focusing time on your needs outside of the relationship.
Let him know what you will be doing.
Hanging out with friends, reading at Starbucks, or just watching a romantic comedy movie.
Remind him that he can use this time to do the same.
2 . Say It’s For The Good Of Both.
Some people may take the fact that you want to spend time apart as an insult.
But that doesn’t mean you don’t like him or that you need space because he’s bothering you.
Tell him that it will make the time together even better.
Remind them that absence makes the heart grow more passionate, even if it’s just for a few hours here and there.
3 . Offer him a benefit.
This isn’t exactly a bribe, but it can help your partner understand the idea of time apart.
Maybe you’d rather watch The Bachelor with your girlfriends than your boyfriend, who always rolls his eyes.
Remind him that he will enjoy the game better with his friends.
Commitment is great, but so is time.
4 . Don’t Use Words Like ‘Smothered’.
Even if you feel a little suffocated from spending too much time together, try to avoid words like that.
You don’t want your partner to feel bad.
Proposing the idea of separate time is not a punishment but a benefit.
Avoid complaining about how things went and instead focus on how you want the future to be.
5 . Send Him This Article.
If you still can’t get the idea of telling your partner that you want some time apart, send them this article.
Maybe just say something like, “I found this article and maybe we’re spending too much time together?”
He may end up understanding and agree.
Conclusion
The break in a relationship is vital for balance and independence.
Without these things, your relationship can suffer a lot.
