Do you feel like you can’t talk to your partner? Next, we are going to give you some tips to have good communication in the couple and avoid problems.
We have all been through those tedious moments where it seems almost impossible to talk or have a peaceful conversation with our partner. For whatever reason, in certain cases we find ourselves in the sad situation that communication is being neglected, and problems are intensifying more and more. If you want to heal your relationship, follow these tips.
What are the problems caused by a lack of communication as a couple?
An animal will always be aggressive when it feels trapped. In the same way people react when they feel that they are in a relationship where they do not have freedom of expression. It is impossible for a relationship to work if there is not good communication, because how do they reach certain consensuses to improve coexistence in marriage?
As a result of the lack of communication, many couples around the world are affected and in most cases they end in separation. Having an uncommunicative partner, or having a partner who does not allow you to express yourself whenever you want, only leads to toxic relationships.
Apart from that, lack of communication leads to many other problems. Among them, we can mention the following:
- Lack of trust: poor or poor communication can cause trust to disappear. You can no longer tell your deepest longings to your partner. If this happens, we will most likely seek that refuge in other people outside the home. Like, for example, a friend or family member to whom we can tell what we feel.
- Insecurity on both sides: following the previous point, lack of trust leads to insecurity being present on both sides. If you can’t be sure that you can count on your partner every time you need it, your home won’t feel like a safe haven.
- Constant lawsuits and fights : the fact of not being able to communicate with your partner correctly, causes constant fights and fights. Well, with the passage of time you will be more distanced between you and you will not mind generating a fight for anything.
- Bad coexistence in the home: if there is not good communication, mistrust, insecurity and constant fights causes a bad atmosphere to be lived inside the home. If they have children, they too will feel that atmosphere of tension.
- Misunderstandings: as there is no good communication, misunderstandings are most likely to be generated. Usually it happens because we take things for granted, with the silly idea that others can read our minds or that it is something obvious and it goes without saying.
- Constant altercations due to disagreement in interests: probably if there is not good communication, the two become more and more distant. As a consequence, we begin to prioritize our own interests and put aside those that involve our partner.
- Decrease in love: we always say the same thing, love is like a little plant that you must water and take care of every day. If there is not good communication, the fights and the distance between you make love go very
- Development of unhealthy behaviors: such as unhealthy jealousy, obsession with control, or even violence.
- Toxic and Unhealthy Relationship : You make way for a relationship in which you are both toxic. One for requiring too much attention, and the other for not caring about the partner’s feelings.
And the above were only the most common consequences of miscommunication. Because in the worst of cases, discord and lack of attachment can result in numerous deceptions and infidelities on the part of one of the two, or both.
Benefits of having good communication with your partner
Communication is one of the fundamental pillars for any type of relationship, be it friendship, partner, work or family. In fact, being able to express yourself fluently with others has many benefits.
Among the advantages of having good communication with your partner, we can mention the following:
- Establish limits: If you can speak with absolute frankness about what you want and what you feel, you can establish clear limits that your partner cannot exceed. Well, you can express everything with which you do not agree or that you are not willing to tolerate.
- Negotiations: in any relationship we are always going to have to negotiate all those things that we need to receive from others. Well, whenever we ask for something, we must give something in return. Therefore, communication will help you reach an agreement.
- More empathy: by being able to talk about what you expect to receive from your partner, what you feel or what you want, you can generate more empathy. Well, they can put themselves in the place of the other and imagine how they feel or why they ask you for something.
- Improve coexistence: having good communication, they can argue without fighting. Therefore, both will be in a better mood and the coexistence will be more bearable.
As you can see, there are many advantages of having good communication with your partner, especially if they are already living under the same roof.
How can I have adequate communication with my partner and thus avoid conflicts?
Have you ever found yourself in a relationship where you felt completely drowned out? o How to talk to my partner without fighting? You have probably been in a relationship where communication did not exist.
It is very difficult to be in a relationship in which we do not have our own voice, so how do you talk to your partner when there are problems? Well, for this, we invite you to follow these tips:
Learn to listen and respect your partner
In the same way that you would like your partner to listen to you and respect you, do it. You cannot expect your partner to empathize with you and be understandable when you are not.
To do this, they must improve the dialogue and not find a way to talk with your partner to get into conflict. With this we want to tell you to think things better before saying them. If you are angry, sad or disappointed, it is best to think cold and try to put your feelings aside.
Otherwise, if you get carried away by your feelings in that moment, what you say will sound like reproach. As a consequence, your partner will become defensive and they will start fighting instead of finding a solution.
Many times we are immersed in a sea of emotions and we speak and act without thinking. For good communication as a couple, it is important that this does not happen. Keep your head clear and your thoughts in order at all times.
It is necessary to speak when they are not angry. There is no use talking when emotions are fresh. Wait for the anger to subside and you can actually speak calmly.
Also, when you go to talk to your partner about something that has bothered you, try to avoid raising your voice. Starting to yell is the best way to provoke a much more serious fight.
Rate the opinions
Another key aspect if you want to improve communication with your partner is to value all opinions. In a relationship both have the same level of importance, so their ideas must be taken into account equally.
When discussing a disagreement, it will be essential that both are willing to negotiate to reach a middle ground . This implies that neither of them will be able to agree 100%, but they will have something of what they want.
Take note of what you decide and if necessary, you can list each of your ideas and write them down on a sheet of paper. It will help you keep your mind calm.
Not focusing on problems
Yes, we know it is very easy to get carried away by the emotions of the moment and act impulsively. But to have good communication, we should not focus so much on the problem and looking for culprits.
Once we have spoken honestly about what has bothered us, we must find a solution. It is useless to keep repeating what you feel over and over again. In this way, they will spend hours and hours fighting and thinking too much about something.
For example, you have gotten angry because lately he does not take out the garbage on the street. You already said it, stop repeating how much it bothers you. The best thing in this case is to reach a solution by establishing a middle point and establishing the days that each one will have to take out the garbage or how to divide the household chores.
Look for solutions
Communication between couples is not about pointing fingers and blaming our partner because it has not made us feel bad. To reach a good solution and that both can be happy, it is necessary that the conversation is only to resolve the conflicts without the need to fight.
Instead of making accusations, try asking questions . For example, instead of saying You are not paying attention to me! Can you say something like, could you pay attention to me, is there something I want to talk to you about?
Also, avoid making comments disqualifying your partner , such as, “You are a disaster.” On the other hand, if your partner is very messy and that irritates you, you can say something like “I’ve seen you forget your clothes in bed after bathing.”
Lastly, avoid making generalizations like never and always . In this case, it will be better to say something like “lately you are not helping me with the housework” rather than saying “you never help me with anything”.
What can I ask my boyfriend to talk and improve the dialogue with him?
This is not something you should ask him, but rather that you both have to learn how to say things without offending. Once again, the importance of respect in the relationship is reiterated. A fundamental pillar, like communication and trust.
However, if you wonder how to start a conversation with my boyfriend? o How to talk to my partner about our relationship? You can follow these tips:
- Look for him at a time where you are not fighting or angry.
- Begin the conversation calmly.
- Understand that communication is two by two, therefore, both should have their space and time to express what they feel or their ideas.
- Establish your intentions from the beginning to resolve the matter, not to fight.
- Don’t start blaming him for everything as he will immediately get defensive and you will end up fighting.
- Always keep your ideas clear.
- Don’t make up excuses or lies to get your way.
- Talk only to come up with a solution, not to keep fighting.
- Try to reach a middle ground where you both benefit despite not having 100% what you want.
- Assume the commitment involved in being in a relationship.
- Know when to put the brakes on and stop arguing when they start to raise their voices or start fighting.
- Use appropriate non-verbal language to accompany your words. For example, don’t raise your voice or make offensive gestures.
- Choose the best time to talk, which is a time when the two of you can pay attention to each other and talk calmly, alone.
So far we come with this super complete guide with tips to have good communication as a couple and avoid problems. We hope that it has been useful to you and that you can put into practice all the tips that we have shared with you.