Healthy relationships don’t happen by accident, they happen by choice.
Unattached love is truly possible. It’s not about giving up anything but rather about changing our expectations of what we want from the relationship.
No matter how spiritual or how we evolve, relationships test our dark side and underscore the work we need to do to overcome our past hurts.
Detachment in love is not about abandoning the person, or even love.
It’s about staying free from any predetermined expectations or end results that many use to judge a good relationship.
There seems to be a pattern for relationships that we should all follow. We meet, we kiss, we talk, we spend more time together, we say I love you, we meet our respective families, we move in and then we end up getting married.
However, this is not to lose interest in love; it’s more like following a plan, and a bit limited in my opinion.
To work unattached love, if that’s what we’re aiming for, we must first work on ourselves and our triggers.
In general, we like to know exactly where we are and what kind of situation we are in, so we can play with the corresponding comforting rules.
Yet we limit the type of love we engage in.
Loving in a relationship based on detachment doesn’t mean that what the other does not interest us, or that he will never hurt us, but it does mean that we love him enough to just let the relationship take its course.
When we can change our expectations, our experiences can change.
When we enter into a new relationship with a person without any idealized thoughts of what they might become, then we will give ourselves the opportunity to naturally develop that union, instead of forcing it within the predetermined limits we use to define it. ‘love.
Unattached love means that I love you for who you are.
Unattached love means I want to make the most of it with you because we don’t know what will happen tomorrow.
Unattached love is simply the ability to love someone freely. Both people can come and go at will, never feeling like there is an expectation for a specific set of behaviors.
In truth, loving without ties is not easy.
To love someone in this way, we must first name and sit down with our hurts; our fear of abandonment, rejection, and all that we have been conditioned by birth to expect in a relationship.
Once we can do this work for ourselves – it doesn’t stop abruptly, but it becomes easier to navigate detachment – we understand that our feelings have nothing to do with the other person.
One of my wounds is the fear of abandonment, because since childhood I have been conditioned that most men eventually leave. Before I healed this aspect of my psyche, I was running wild with anxiety and fear for the man in my life, based on what I thought were his actions.
But now, when these same problems arise, I see them exactly for what they are: my reaction is completely different.
I’m no longer looking for someone else to heal me, or reassure me of their presence in my life, because I can do it myself.
When we love unattached, we don’t let go of the other person, and we don’t completely let go of all expectations.
It just means that we choose to love in a conscious way. We show ourselves when we can. For those times when we can’t show off, we’re each individually happy.
It means respecting our partner’s journey as much as ours, knowing that in unattached love we cannot force anything. There is nothing in this world that each of us can do to make someone love us, and there is nothing we can do to stop someone from falling in love with us either.
When we can approach love as a gift, no matter if the loved one accepts it or returns the favor, we are immersed in the essence of what it really means to take care of others, apart from our own needs. and desires.
Unattached love means recognizing our feelings for others, regardless of action, choice, or outcome. It is perhaps the most real and sincere type of love.