Boundaries are vital no matter what stage of the relationship. With no limits set, a relationship is bound to go in a chaotic direction. Although each couple is different, each person involved in the relationship has needs that must be met, making boundaries even more ideal.
Setting limits is something each person should carefully consider when with someone. Boundaries can help establish relationships in a simple way, ultimately providing direction on how to avoid conflict or problems with your partner. The lack of boundaries can potentially lead to the destruction of a relationship if the space for respect and preference is not openly discussed.
Although it may seem a bit awkward or harsh, setting boundaries with your partner is the opposite. It is vital to the well-being of the relationship, especially if the goal is to stay together for the long term. Simply pushing your partner aside and discussing the terms of your likes and dislikes is easy and beneficial for each person involved.
Types of limits in a relationship
To set limits, you need to know what types of limits to set. Some apply to your emotional well-being, while others apply to your physical well-being. Together, each can apply and help establish a sense of self, as well as a clear understanding of your partner’s needs and wants.
In relationships, emotions can rise between partners when each is passionate about something. This can cause a lot of wear and tear in both new and long-term relationships. Setting limits on how you respond to each other in hot and difficult times is the gateway to healthy relationships.
Communication is a vital foundation and emotions are related to the way they are spoken. Talk about the ways you will set boundaries and how you will blur those heated moments, as this is best for a happy relationship.
Finances are vital in any relationship and in life in general. They can also be the demise of a great relationship if no boundaries are set. It is always ideal to discuss finances before entering a relationship, as the subject can be sensitive. However, if you have a crush on someone and want to be together for quite a while, simply setting limits on who spends what and when can definitely alleviate any potential stress or resentment towards your partner in the future.
Many of us have known our lifelong friends. We’ve been through a lot with them and we won’t let anything get in the way of our invaluable friendship. However, relationships can be a real test for both your friends and your partner.
Sometimes our partner and friends don’t get along. So what do you do in such cases? Set mutual boundaries that both of you can agree on and abide by. This will help you come to terms in times of disagreement regarding friends that your partner may not like. In relationships, friends should never cause a break in your love life and vice versa. There is always a solution for everyone to live together peacefully.
We all long to achieve things and grow throughout our lives. No matter how big or small the goal is, it is always essential to spend time and effort on them. Having a partner to support you in achieving your goals is someone who will also support these particular limits. Laying down the terms on the importance of finishing school to earn your degree or make time for your business will give your partner an idea of who you are and the respect they should have for you.
Our families are the core of who we are. In relationships, you should never have to choose between the people you love, especially your family. Understanding that you don’t have to spend less time with family just because you’re in a relationship is something your partner should automatically respect. You also don’t want to take away from your partner the fair amount of time you spent with you, which is why setting limits ahead of time is best.
Examples of healthy boundaries in a relationship
The boundaries that will keep things going within your relationship are not only ideal, but also what we need to carry our relationships forward. Here are some limits you can set that can help keep you and your partner on the same page.
What you expect from a person sets the tone for your relationship. Explaining this in advance involves a couple of things. First, you give your potential partner or partner a chance to decide if they want to move on with you. Second, it helps to expose your limits on what you expect of them and what you can give in return. This is fair to everyone involved, especially you.
Time is something we could all use more of. Using it wisely can sometimes be challenging and additional stress in a relationship. Talking about and planning the best times for dates or just quality time will help you understand your limits.
For example, you may have certain things you are working on, like school, and you may need more time for this on certain days. This sets the limit on your availability and your priorities. While they are also a priority, leading a life for yourself outside of your partner is essential. They must understand and respect this and you must do it for them too.
Some people can tolerate long before they reach their breaking point, while others cannot. It is important to discuss how much of what you can take as this gives your partner an understanding of why you may react the way you do.
If, for example, you had an unhealthy relationship in the past, you probably won’t tolerate yelling or any form of verbal abuse in your current relationship. This is something that should be clearly exposed to your partner, as respect plays a very important role in a healthy relationship.
4. The past
This can be quite tricky, as mistakes are sometimes made in the past, which most are not proud of. With that, letting your partner find out about your past is ultimately up to you. Sometimes we make decisions during certain periods of our life that we prefer to leave behind. If you decide to let your partner in, you have the right to do so with discretion.
Ways to set boundaries in a relationship
You are ready to set certain limits, but you may not know how to do it. Sitting down with your partner and having a conversation is the best way to go. While it may not be the most comfortable thing to do, it is vital to both of you and to the health of your future together. Fortunately, there is a way to keep the conversation going that will make things a bit easier.
1. make the boundaries clear to yourself
If you want to talk to your partner about the dos and don’ts when it comes to your relationship, you need to know exactly what you are going to say. Go over in your head what these limits will be and why they affect you the way they do. In this way, your partner will have a clear understanding and therefore the ability to level with you about your limits. Once you know what limits you will implement, you can continue talking with your partner.
2. Have a conversation
The idea of having to sit face to face with your partner and explain why they can’t do certain things that drive you crazy isn’t exactly the happiest thought in the world. It can be stressful, so it’s best to explore more than one option. Obviously, sitting down and talking in person would be ideal, as it is more intimate when it comes to such a delicate task. However, not everyone is comfortable doing it, which is completely fine.
You can also take the digital route and have a conversation via text. Explain why you were not so comfortable speaking face-to-face on the subject and continue the conversation. It is something that may help you and your partner feel more comfortable with the subject. Email is also a great way to communicate with him, as writing it down can help you maintain confidence in what you want to say and how you want to deliver it.
Crossing a boundary in relationships, what happens next?
Boundaries are important to all aspects of who we are. They are meant to generate the respect we deserve as a person and if your partner crosses a line, you may need to reconsider a few things. Truth be told, relationships are destined for happiness as you connect on deeper levels with someone you love. If your partner has crossed the lines despite talking about how he makes you feel, it may be time to re-examine the conversation.
However, if you have revisited multiple times about a certain violation, you may need some space to re-evaluate the relationship and whether or not you want to move on. Having peace and being happy in a relationship is what we all deserve. When someone is unwilling to provide these qualities, sometimes moving on can be the best for their long-term well-being.
Healthy relationships require learning about yourself first. To have a happy relationship, you must understand the concept of self-love. Because in the end you, when you love yourself, others will too. Simply put, you deserve to be happy.