We all like to receive a compliment from time to time.
Above all, when the person who attracts us is the one who says so.
But certain phrases raise doubts that not all of us can easily resolve.
Have you ever been told that “you’re a good person”?
It is clear that if your mother or friend says it, you will not have a mental debate about it.
But if HE tells you, the eternal question may arise: does he like me or not?
If he likes you, he’s interested in you. If he doesn’t like you, no. But how to know?
Do you have to be a “good person” to like her?
Here we will solve it.
There are 2 possible meanings when a man tells you that you are a good person. What’s yours?
Option 1: HE LIKES YOU!
When a man begins to be interested in you, he pays attention to all your details.
I’m not just talking about a physical attraction.
I mean that he is really there in your day to day and watches everything about you.
His attention is on discovering your new aspects.
When this happens, it is a sign that he is considering you for something else…
A classic aspect to take into account is whether you are a good person.
It is true that some men are attracted to the “bad girl.” Sometimes it’s fun to be!
But let’s face it, most people want to be in a relationship with someone who is kind and trustworthy.
I know, being “good” is a difficult characteristic to define, right?
Let’s see then what attitudes could lead him to consider you a good person.
You’re a good person?
You care about others
A very valuable quality in these times.
Today, everyone is in a hurry in their individual bubble.
Therefore, meeting someone who pays attention to detail is almost a luxury.
Do you try to solve problems if they are within your reach?
Do you put yourself in someone else’s shoes when they’re having a bad day and help them out?
Do you pay attention to the needs of your colleagues or friends?
Are you careful in the way you act if you are going through a difficult situation?
Or maybe you make a coffee for that stressed-out co-worker.
If you are attentive to others and worry about them, it is a sign that there is goodness in you.
you are not elitist
There are people who only want to be with a certain social group.
Some even ignore those they consider “other” than themselves.
But there are also people who do not distinguish the origin or social status of someone to be able to relate to them.
And, far fewer, make a difference in dealing with them.
They consider everyone equally, without paying attention to their work, money, or popularity.
If you are one of these people, it means that you are considerate. Sign of kindness.
You understand the other and do not judge
It’s not nice when they mistreat you because they’re having a bad day.
But there are people who easily understand that the other may be going through a difficult situation and do not judge their attitude.
Obviously, it is not necessary to let any kind of abuse go by.
But having the ability to understand what happens to the other is important.
It can mean that you care about the well-being of everyone equally.
you are not self-centered
You don’t talk about yourself in every conversation.
You show interest in learning more about others.
You don’t feel the need to generate rumors about them.
On the contrary, you are respectful and careful with whatever they share with you.
You are humble and you are not afraid of making mistakes
You accept mistakes without problems and admit to being wrong if necessary.
You can admit your mistake without getting angry and by engaging in a dialogue.
When you meet someone who thinks differently from you, you understand.
Even if you don’t share their point of view, you show respect for what they think.
you are fair and wise
Aristotle, an ancient Greek philosopher, indicates that there are basic virtues to determine if a person is good.
One of them is to be cautious.
He defines prudence as putting into practice what you learn from others.
In addition to reflecting based on this when making decisions.
He also mentions that being fair is a sign of goodness.
Are you fair when making decisions?
Do you recognize and respect everyone equally when doing so?
If so, you may be a fair and prudent person.
You don’t expect anything in return
According to Aristotle, another characteristic of goodness is that your actions are authentic.
This means that the gestures of kindness that you have with someone are sincere.
That is, what drives you to do something is not a benefit for you, rather the legitimate well-being of the other.
You keep your promises
People who know you know that they can trust you and what you promise them.
You may keep a secret or promise to call them.
Whatever the commitment, they are not afraid that you will break your word.
You are a trustworthy person.
But… there is MORE!
5 reasons why make a guy fall in love with a good girl
When you are already in a relationship with someone, your qualities can come to the fore.
There are reasons that make a man seek commitment and fall in love .
And these characteristics make “nice” girls irresistible.
And, perhaps, you will be considered a special person in your man’s life.
Do you think you have any of these qualities?
1) you are sweet
You are sensitive to your surroundings and your smile radiates light.
You treat people with delicacy and transparency.
You are kind and considerate of others.
2) You are honest
You recognize when it’s time to speak your mind respectfully.
You are not afraid to recognize the truth and make it known, it is part of your essence.
3) You are loyal
Being faithful is something important for any couple who wants a stable bond.
Loyalty has nothing to do with being faithful to the other, but to the union that you have.
If he considers you for a relationship, he will look to you for a serious commitment.
4) You listen and support
You have the ability to pay attention to what generates insecurities.
You give him advice and support his decisions. Sign that you are a good partner.
5) You know how to forgive
You are compassionate and can distinguish between an innocent mistake and something unforgivable.
Your nature is to seek balance in a relationship and discuss differences.
You don’t practice soap opera dramatic anger. You prefer to reason them and forgive.
Are you in the friend zone?
Do the aforementioned characteristics not conform to the bond you have with him?
If so, you may have entered the terrifying friend zone or friendship zone.
When this happens, it means that he may not see you as someone to conquer.
On the contrary, he considers you a “good person” to have in his life, but nothing more.
Let’s evaluate then, the second scenario that can respond to the famous, do you like me?
Option 2: He does NOT like you, he is interested in you as a friend
What does it mean when the man you like calls you “friend”?
Or, perhaps, he has praised you saying that you are “the best”.
It means that he wants to have a friendship with you.
He values you and considers you a nice person to be around.
Someone to trust.
If this has already happened, you are in the friend zone.
And, possibly, you are a caring friend who is always there for her.
“Friend Zone” according to the Oxford Dictionary :
“a situation where friendship exists between two people, one of whom has an unrequited romantic or physical interest in the other person.”
It is often said that “good” people tend to enter this zone easily.
The University of South Carolina did research on this topic.
The study was performed on a group of women bonding with men.
The results showed that:
- Good or kind people are chosen for a stable relationship.
- The attractions are only considered to have a good time or have something in the short term.
Here the famous stereotype of “good” people appears.
If you are trustworthy, respectful, etc., you are a suitable person for a serious relationship.
Instead, those who do not possess these qualities may not be chosen for the future.
These traits are not reason enough to determine that you will be her friend forever.
Each link is different and the reasons that bind you to the man you like can change this situation.
So if he considers you a “good” person, that’s a good thing.
Think about the following, the most difficult step has already been taken.
At the end of the day, you are worthy of being considered for a future serious partner, aren’t you?
The next step would then be to arouse his attraction to you.
It’s possible? Of course!
Tips for getting out of the Friend Zone
Keep in mind that being in the friend zone also has to do with your attitude.
For example, if you are someone who is eternally helpful to him.
Or, maybe you solve his problems and are there for him when he needs you.
This does not mean that your way of relating is wrong.
No one can tell you what is right or wrong.
But maybe what you need is to remind him who you are and why you are in his life.
Jeremy Nicholson, PhD in Social Psychology at Psychology Today, indicates that it is possible to get out of this situation.
You must convince the other to give you a chance; Let him see you with different eyes.
To achieve this, Nicholson suggests the following 5 tips:
1) You are not available
Spending less time with him will make him notice your absence.
People tend to value someone better when they feel a lack of it.
He may even miss you.
2) Create some competition
Go out with friends and meet new people. Maybe a little innocent jealousy will help.
“People value more what they think they can lose. If you’re busy with other people, you might find your friend a little more eager and motivated for your time and attention.”
3) Reverse the roles
Subtly reverse the roles, let him fix whatever you demand.
Ask him for advice, or show him that you also need him to do you favors.
Let him help you and see if he is really willing to do it.
4) Show yourself less in need of him
Nicholson makes it clear that showing too much interest in someone makes you look desperate.
And desperate people often take what they’re given, not what they really want.
Translation: in this context, you accept their friendship, even if you want it as a couple.
Remember, not seeing it 24 hours is not the end of the world. Take distance and let yourself flow.
Perhaps your absence will open his eyes.
5) Be the “bad” girl
No, I don’t want you to start destroying the happiness of others.
Do not be confused by the popular term “bad”.
Being a bad girl is not a sign of evil.
This label, misused in women, means that you are “independent.”
“Bad” girls are attractive because they are not dependent on others.
They are self-confident women who accept and assert themselves.
This self-worth and acceptance make them attractive to others.
Almost like a magnet effect. But an intimidating magnet.
Why are men attracted to mean girls?
Simply because they are a challenge.
Trying to conquer a woman who knows what she wants and loves herself is not an easy task.
Rather, an interesting and difficult mystery to solve.
Men know that there are people who are available to hang out with.
But independent women never agree to this easily, they assert themselves.
If you don’t prioritize them, they have nothing to do with them.
We are all more motivated to go for a person who is not lacking.
And these types of women are not afraid of loneliness.
They know that they are first and then a possible boyfriend or partner.
So, what to do?
Studies published by Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin state that:
“Men find nice women more attractive for a serious relationship than their opposites, mean girls.”
This does not mean that being “bad” or “good” is better or worse.
These adjectives are mere stereotypes created by the popular collective and are far from defining you truthfully.
Each person is different. Each link is different.
The best thing you can do is be authentic, and value yourself for who you are.
Regardless of whether you feel identified by the qualities described in this article or not.
You have the right to be how you want to be.
You must not change your essence to be more or less good.
Being a good person is not synonymous with complacency.
It’s a code of honor with yourself.
Be how you want to be. Whoever values you will fall in love with your authenticity.