We all fear that phrase “we must give ourselves some time”, and it is because most of the time it is a very subtle way of ending without us knowing very well what is happening. That is why many doubts come to mind, and you ask how long do I have to wait? What if I don’t want to give myself time? It is something very delicate that has to be taken calmly, otherwise many hearts could be broken.
What does it mean when a partner asks you for time?
When a partner tells you that they want to take some time alone, or time away from you, or time to get to know themselves, it is exactly that. Your partner has simply gotten to a point where he thinks he’s not ready for a relationship yet and therefore needs to have some quality time with himself.
The reasons behind this phrase are very simple, but it does not mean that they will come back later. So the best thing to do is clear things up as soon as possible so that there isn’t one of the two waiting for someone who won’t come back.
We can come to believe that the reason why our partner asks us for time is that he does not love us, or has someone else. When the reality is that, the reasons are much more personal than that:
- They have been together since they were very young and he wants to explore the world on his own.
- He is not comfortable with a relationship at the moment.
- You want to focus on your career instead of a relationship.
- It has goals and objectives outside the country.
- You want to grow personally and mature properly before entering a serious relationship.
- Seek to meet new people and expand your horizons.
There are extraordinary cases of couples who, after spending some time, come back. And it turns out that the relationship is now much better than before since both are much more experienced and mature. They realize that they are soulmates who belonged to each other.
What can I do while taking time away from my partner?
This type of decision is only bearable for the person who asks for the time. The other party is not satisfied with the decision but has no choice but to wait. And that’s exactly what hurts, waiting. Hope that one day our partner will return and everything will be better than before.
It is somewhat similar to grieving after a breakup. We must learn to live without them, do things on our own, and try to live as well as possible. It is a process of adaptation, in which we learn about ourselves.
So if your partner asked you for a break, don’t look at it as a bad thing. Appreciate it as a unique opportunity to get to know yourself, you did nothing wrong. So you are free to explore the world on your own and spread your wings.
- Learn to identify yourself as an individual person. Have your own goals, your own dreams. So when you are finally with someone else, you will know how to choose much better.
- Expand your horizons. Meet new people, study something new, learn things about yourself that you didn’t know recently.
- Give yourself your own space. It is not good that you maintain very close contact with your old partner because it will not let either of them advance.
How long should I wait?
This is the million-dollar question. How long should we wait to decide to move forward or get over our partner after having asked us for a time? It is something that cannot be measured exactly, since you will have to feel it for yourself. According to the actions that your partner takes, and how things unfold.
However, after a few months things seem to continue in the same way. If you have noticed that your partner has already left their relationship behind, it is the right time for you to continue with your life without further ado. So it is something to which you must prepare from the first moment in which they ask you for a time. Learn to forget it.