The idea of living together is becoming more and more present but you are still afraid to take the plunge? Wondering when to live together? If there is a better moment than another? Here are the 9 signs that you are clearly ready to live under the same roof!
When to live together? The 9 signs that you are ready
This is a question that must be asked before making such a decision, a decision that will upset your life, your pace, your habits. Living together can seem idyllic in your imagination. However, life together, although beautiful, is made up of compromises. We do not choose ease by living together. Some people decide to live their whole life in two different apartments so that they never know the routine and keep their independence (obviously if there are children, it becomes more complex). But when to live together?
Living together is a decision that should not be taken lightly. In no case should one push the other to pass the course. The desire must come from both partners.
1 / You live more or less already together
Your toothbrush is already well installed in the small glass jar placed on Doudou’s sink, you already have a small drawer where some clothes hang around here and there at his place. You are used to going to each other. Besides, you almost have the impression of already living under the same roof (beware, this is only an impression!). For my part, I lived like this with my friend for a year and when we really settled together I naively thought that nothing was going to change. Living together with one or the other and living together in YOUR common apartment has nothing to do with it. If you choke, if you argue, you can go get some fresh air but you will no longer be able to go home to rest, you will no longer have your own cocoon. You will have a cocoon to share and you really have to want it.
However, already living with each other on a regular basis will allow you to notice the small faults, the slightly strange and even annoying manias of the other. Monsieur does no housework, Madame lets her panties hang everywhere, Monsieur likes watching series until 3 am, Madame wants to go to bed at 10 pm to get her 10 hours of daily sleep… You know, we will have to deal with it!
2 / You are not at the start of the relationship
It is obvious but better to specify. We don’t live together after six months of relationship. You cannot make such a serious decision when you are blinded by love. If you are still in the “Passion” phase beware! You have the impression that everything is beautiful, that everything is pink, and that all of this will remain intact or even improve once you have moved in together. FALSE! The passion is maintained and the desire to see the other is not for nothing. When you live together, the passion will fade. It’s inevitable. This does not mean that you will not love each other anymore! You just have to be ready to accept going from the love state to Love. You just have to be ready to build.
3 / You do not do it for financial reasons
We don’t live together by doing calculations. You live in Paris? In 17 square meters? You each pay 700 euros? Do you think that if you live together you would have 40 square meters for 1200 euros? Yes, it’s true. But is this a good reason? Have you paired up for the equipment? ” No, but it sure works .” NO. Money shouldn’t play a role in your decision.
4 / Your daily life is not full of arguments
If you already have a tumultuous relationship before you even share the same roof, I strongly recommend that you do not consider it. Above all, don’t think that living together will settle these disputes, on the contrary. Are you jealous when your boyfriend goes out? Do you think it will be better when he lives with you? Well no! He will, even more, want to go out without you in order to have moments with his friends, alone, far from you, to breathe a little out of everyday life. Once again, it has nothing to do with love. Every human being, however much in love, needs independence and freedom. Keep in mind that 1 + 1 = 2. You are not just one human being in perfect fusion, you are not in the myth of the Androgyne.
5 / You are aware of the difficulties this will cause
Living together is nice, I don’t deny it! You wake up every morning near the man you love, you find him every night, you feel safe, you build your little nest a little each year, you form the couple you always wanted … Yes, it is right. But the beginnings of life together are often brutal when you have not prepared for it.
Keep in mind that household chores will become your worst enemy (hire a cleaning lady, that solves many unnecessary problems ), keep in mind that your life will change, that you will not necessarily have the same pace as the other, not the same working hours, and that will have to be done with. Also remember that you CANNOT CHANGE THE OTHERS, and therefore, if there are things that are bothering you about your partner, ask yourself if you are ready to accept, to live with throughout your life.
6 / You do not fear the routine
I always smile when I read or see reports on people who seek love and who say: ” So me, for a relationship, I look for complicity and above all, I do not want routine “. Yes, yes, yes… It is all well and good to dream So first, you have to stop seeing routine as a big monster that will devour your couple. You just have to learn to tame it, to live with it. The routine should not take up all the space, it should make its place, its small place, not too bulky.
7 / You fully accept the rhythm of your partner
Good if you have the same, but it is not always the case. You have to be aware of it. Some couples decide to do with it, not to fall asleep together for example, or even not to eat together in the evening, one returning later than the other. Other couples prefer to do everything together. You have to “just” be on the same wavelength. If you like to be quiet at home and your friend likes to invite friends to play PS4 all night, either you will put earplugs, or he will go to his friends next time.
8 / You will choose a neutral place
Do not move in with one or the other. Choose an apartment together. Indeed, whoever accepts that the other moves in may sometimes regret it, feeling invaded in his space which was until now HIS personal space. This could cause unnecessary tension. Avoid at all costs!
9 / You are independent
Each in his life, you are neither dependent on each other, nor fused. Your couple rests on healthy and solid foundations.
