Why are some relationships doomed to failure?

 

We all undoubtedly seek the same thing in a relationship, that it flourish and last, after all, who would not want to have a happy ending with their partner?

Love relationships are built from a mutual attraction that over time, experiences and sharing becomes a strong bond that unites both people in the same direction while love is present in each moment of time between the two .

However, not all relationships achieve this goal and prevail for long no matter how much effort is put into it. This occurs when the feelings that people have for the other seem to be extinguished or the conflicts that abound between them overshadow the good times.

But … why do some couples manage to make their relationship work and others not? Even if they go through similar difficulties or have the same tools to their advantage. If you want to find out, stay in this article where we will talk about the reasons why some relationships are destined to fail and the signs that indicate this .

What do we call a successful relationship?

We can define a successful love relationship as those couples who manage to form a deep commitment that allows them to maintain an adequate, healthy and beneficial balance for both parties regarding respect, complicity, support and love. Where both manage to understand that the relationship requires constant work so that it can be strengthened and that happiness is not synonymous with conformity or whims, but with a mutual effort to contribute to the growth of the other.

Something very important that these couples have in common is that they manage to see obstacles as a natural part of love relationships and do not take it personally, which, despite being difficult moments, can fill one or both parties with insecurity. , they are able to find a favorable solution for both of them.

Another point in favor is that they consider that to make the other person happy and love them completely, it is first necessary to do it with yourself, because no one is responsible for the complete happiness of someone else. Thus, they understand that, to receive, one must give and that the couple is on an equal footing in demands, rights and duties.

So why do relationships fail?

Taking all this into account, we will explain a little why relationships tend to fail for some cases. It is logical that the answer is that they do the opposite of what we already exposed previously and that is the case. Failed relationships are those that simply cannot remain stable for long, but enter into perpetual conflict that damages those involved to such an extent that the only relief they achieve is when they are apart.

This is due to many reasons, from continuous misunderstandings to clashes of personalities that turn each moment into an ordeal, in general this can be perceived over time and the differences that exist in each attempt to share, but there are some whose fatal fate it can be predicted from the start.

Here are some reasons why relationships are doomed.

1. Toxic relationships

The popular and in a way lauded toxic relationships have become incredibly normalized, accepted and even desired by young people today, without knowing what the emotional damage of a relationship that is in constant conflict represents. The ‘toxic’ relationships are based on one or both parts of the couple having a tough, punitive and selfish character , where control and jealousy prevail over love and mutual respect.

They are highly desired because the ‘toxic’ person is mistakenly perceived as someone strong and powerful who is capable of pleasing and protecting the other, when in reality they are only seeking their own satisfaction. Little by little the relationship stops looking like a passionate romance of juvenile literature to being a nightmare of the reality from which they now seek to escape.

2. Stop being your priority

You can know that a relationship is going to a point of no return when your partner is no longer a priority for you or you have stopped being a priority for the other. This refers to the fact that the person has other preferences that they get excited or want to do before spending quality time with you and if they do, they tend to claim you or be in a bad mood for being there ‘imprisoned’ instead of enjoying the place where you want to be.

This leads to distancing, arguments and a disconnection so great that it is impossible to recover what once was. Every day those details that brought happiness to both are forgotten and each time the enthusiasm of staying together is lost. This is the result of being focused on individual needs rather than the needs of the couple.

3. Control and dominance

Returning a little to the topic of so-called ‘toxic relationships’ we will emphasize the constant control and dominance that one person can show over another . In general, this is also a sign of insecurity and is done to avoid deception or abandonment, resorting to tactics such as emotional blackmail and threats.

Therefore, we must be attentive to this pattern of jealousy, deviation from themes, focus only on the emotions and needs of a single person and devaluation of the other. Your partner should make you feel safe, loved and help you grow as a person by not attacking your self-esteem.

4. They don’t solve problems

Nobody likes to go through problems in the couple , what’s more, they always try to have a dynamic such that conflicts are minimal, but they always appear and you have to face them in order to move forward. However, there are those who postpone it instead of doing so, which causes tensions, resentments and pains to accumulate that grow with each small act that is observed as negative in the other person, until everything explodes and chaos takes over. of the relationship.

5. Empty promises

Each one has responsibilities within a couple since that is what commitment is all about, but when one of them delegates all responsibility to the other instead of taking charge of their actions, then the relationship is not working. Remember that, although it is important to accept the strengths and weaknesses of both, they must also be aware that if they do not make changes to improve their attitudes it will only bring distrust in the relationship , breaking with the security of the couple.

6. Sharing feels obligated

There are couples who show off their romance in every place they can while others are more private and both cases are fine as long as the parties agree. However, when one of them shows obvious annoyance, despair and little enthusiasm in sharing with the other, something goes very wrong , since quality time with the couple is essential and necessary for them to get to know each other better and to strengthen the bond. And when going out becomes an obligation then you don’t enjoy being with that person at all.

7. You get upset about everything

Getting angry from time to time with the partner is also normal, since there is a friction between what you consider correct and that person not doing it, for this it is important to communicate it and reach a mutual agreement. But when every detail that I do begins to affect you, that you are not pleased by your whims, that I must agree with you all the time, that you feel that it hurts your feelings every time you argue, then the relationship is not on the right track, because It’s not just about you, your partner has feelings too.

Another factor to highlight at this point is that negative criticism, complaints and teasing are constant, so it is no longer possible to perceive the good in the relationship and it is normal for your partner to question whether there ever was.

8. You withdraw from the rest of the people

Many couples end their relationship when they realize that they have lost more things than they have gained and although there were moments of happiness they could not notice that they lived in a bubble of false perfection that was only taking them away from their loved ones. The fact that your partner is bothered by your friendships, the time you dedicate to yourself, constant communication with your family or that you make new relationships, can lead you to a point of extreme fatigue from which you should get away as soon as possible.

9. Incompatibility of dreams

Something very important for a relationship to prevail in the future is that both can share equal goals and be clear about their wishes for their lives. But when they do not make themselves known or do not agree at all with the other, then the relationship can go downhill and cause a lot of emotional damage by feeling stuck.