The manipulator, the manipulator, and the narcissistic pervert are not looking for just anyone. And above all, he does not want someone weak, far from it! On the contrary, they like to enslave people who represent a challenge, a “challenge”. They will, therefore, target prey that interests them and will quickly identify faults that they can easily exploit.
Your assets
You have something the PN wants: a network of friends, notoriety, a pension fund, apartment blocks, an RRSP, a house, clothes, a life, a well-placed position, a salary, energy to spare, etc. In short, the PN wants to take what belongs to you. When I meet clients who have been victims of a manipulator, generally, in terms of love, certain constants come back:
- The PN came to live with his victim very quickly.
- The PN expects the other to pay for many things or encourage the victim to quit his job to support him and thus make him financially dependent.
- The PN is admired by certain people close to the victim.
- The PN has, in fact, few real friends.
- The PN generally has relationship difficulties in his family.
Very often, my clients admit to me that they have advanced money to the PN, give them a salary, buy them clothes, pay their tickets. The PN suggests to his victim that he will reimburse him, but he never does it completely. And, of course, he will imply that it is the victim’s fault if he did not give him his money back…
Your unmet need
We all have unfulfilled dreams, unfulfilled goals, suspended projects, unmet needs. PN loves it! Because it has a gateway to your mind. Have you always dreamed of a beautiful wedding without daring to tell anyone? The PN will make you dangle a ceremony worthy of a fairy tale. Do you hope to succeed in business? He will make you believe that he has faith in you, in your potential and that he will be there for you in difficult times. In short, it will give you the impression that it is the ideal partner to meet this unmet need that was close to your heart.
And the most pernicious in all this is that you will not always be aware of this need! Several of my clients thought that celibacy did not affect them before meeting the PN, but when I make them talk about their teenage dreams, the romantic relationship was part of the much-desired ideal.
What to do?
So what must be done not to attract a PN? Hiding in the depths of the woods? Less attention? Less successful? Be less than your own potential? Actually no! It’s the opposite! Invest in yourself! Develop, flourish! Work on yourself! Take the time to identify your injuries, defense mechanisms, and patterns and work with a professional. Set goals and achieve them. Reprogram your crosslinked activator system. This area of your brain brings to your consciousness the information of your environment according to what is programmed in your unconscious, therefore according to your blockages, your feeling of impostor your fears, your tendency to self -sabotage. Become the best version of yourself. It is by knowing yourself really,
