A small express ticket following a discussion with a commentator.
Besides, I want to take advantage of this article to thank the boys who follow me here. I don’t know how you got lost on my site, but it’s a pleasure to chat with you. Don’t hesitate to take a look at the forum. Men are not too badly treated there. (Not too much)
Why do women seduce less than men?
It’s here, enjoy.
Seduction: the turn of women?
In short, seduction question, we are in a particular era.
Courting has long been extremely normalized. Men could apply the same rituals to many women (compliments, promises, etc.). Since the 1970s and its feminist movements, the outlook on women, their s**xualities, the role of love and marriage in their lives has evolved.
Besides, this evolution continues. A third-generation feminism flourishes in public space. In a tobacco press, we can find three magazines belonging to this trend: Causette, Babette, and Louise. (I might talk about it one day.) Not to mention the anti-s**xist bloggers who are gaining more and more visibility.
What is called the “group of women” seems more and more heterogeneous. And our positioning in relation to seduction appears to be vaguer and vaguer for men.
Especially since street harassment and flirting with consent are criticized on the one hand, while on the other hand men are advised (on many sites) to be dominant and directive in seduction.
What to be lost!
A significant number of men divest from seduction. No desire to take rakes. Do not want to confront what we can imagine to be “feminine complexity” for them.
So it would be logical for us to take over.
But, there is one (of?) But ..
A seductress, an easy girl?
A big female fear of seduction is to pass for an easy girl and/or a tease. It is obvious that in my opinion neither one nor the other exists. Even the terms are pure s**lut-shaming. Unfortunately, this s**lut-shaming is still common and it can still influence certain male-female relationships.
(Not everyone feels the soul of an activist who has nothing to give up on passing for an easy girl, which goes without saying)
( Note: two articles to read on the subject: ” What is an easy girl? “, ” S**lut Shaming and seduction: how to compose? “)
Men have nothing against women who flirt with them
On the contrary.
I do not think that labels are really posed at time T.
For example, in a bar, a woman who approaches a man will be rather well received by the latter. Many boys are shy and will sincerely appreciate this first step. Especially if the seduction which follows is closer to a soft exchange than to excessive s**xualization.
Men are not our enemies, they will (for many) appreciate these first steps at their true value: as a mark of courage.
Especially since it is in seduction at time T, they can pass for queutards or heavy or enter a definitive Friend Zone. Of course, it is that their way of doing things is inappropriate. But ” seducing well ” is not given to everyone.
So the boys will be rather grateful (I think) that the women take over a bit and show them what they like in the flirting game.
The feminine difficulty is not in this time T, but in what surrounds it.
Learn to seduce: turn on?
Indeed, approaching a boy (in a bar, at a bus stop, at university …) requires a little courage. And courage is found in a minimum of know-how. When you are comfortable with flirting, it becomes very easy to start conversations with anyone.
So to seduce, you have to know how to seduce a little. To know how to seduce a little, you have to train. You have to seduce without expectations, just for fun. But female flirtation (as rare and new) is still badly perceived, it is called “turning on”.
Like everything, seduction is learned. So a good seductress will have had more flirtations, maybe more adventures and certainly a lot more rakes.
(Personally, I can open a training center in gardening … Between shovels and rakes, I have the equipment for an Amphi).
It is at this point that women are fully aware of the dictates placed on them. A seductress (or tease), it does not look like the sacrosanct “serious girl” that boys still expect (far too much) to build a stable relationship.
Being dredged, a privileged place
It is more comfortable to be flirted than to flirt:
- Less risk of rakes: failures only happen to those who act
- Less risk of passing for a tease: when we flirt with someone who picks us up, we only passively respond to his advances, we offer nothing.
- More flattering: the other shows us that we like him, we have already gained some points for our Ego; we are attractive.
To be flirted with by someone is to have a privileged place. If the other makes so much effort for us, it is because we have something unique and special. Our individuality is not only recognized but appreciated! It is narcissistically very rewarding.
Traditionally, the passive place was restricted only to women. I’m not sure we’re all ready to give up this place.
Me first, I like a nice seduction well led on the part of a man.
When I flirt, I lose this privileged place to offer it to the boy I like (with the risk of rake, s**ut-shaming …). So, in terms of enhancing the Ego, this is not the plan of the century.
Especially that being a dredger (even gifted) is relatively little valued for women. Before being a queutard, there is, for the boy, the place of men to woman, of seducer who is rather well received by the female gender. (Being chosen by a man to woman is twice as rewarding as a more average man)
Certainly, there is the label “femme fatale” that exists. But, the “fatal” suggests that the girl makes men suffer, makes them run and consumes them little … In short, it is a very special label. (To which we should still return)
Dredging: useful when looking for seriousness?
I really should write something about this “serious” story. In short.
Finally, it is less common for women to appreciate feelings fewer relationships. Evening adventures are not very rewarding.
And, it must be said that is, a relationship with a sentimental investment is still richer / more interesting than three round trips with a shot of spaghetti on a stiff Tuesday evening stuffed in the toilet of some box (although … I guess it’s to be done at least once, just to see)
So, when a girl wants to seduce, it’s often that the guy already likes her a lot.
And there, the rake risks being doubly painful :
- for questions of Ego (of course)
- and from the heart (bah yes).
Faced with a sentimental rake, I think women are as vulnerable as men.
The female rake can come after a few legs in the air. The fear of being an easy girl also nestles here. We are afraid that a man will accept our first steps (which are intended to be sentimental) for purely s**xual reasons.
Women are less attractive:
- Due to lack of know-how (we hardly learn active seduction)
- For fear of the sentimental rake (it hurts)
- For fear of certain labels (s**ut, easy girl, tease)
- For comfort (it’s better to be flirted than to flirt)
For all these reasons women are less attractive than men. Even if it means missing out on nice guys, not working on their loving shyness and planting themselves when feelings are born (and kissing less, but I’m not sure that this problem is universally true)