It is the question of the century, and the first answer that crosses our mind is that he is an idiot who only wants to play with you, however it is not always like that. In this article I will reveal one of the biggest male secrets.
Why are you looking for me if you don’t want anything with me? Many men were told about a seduction technique that consists of keeping a woman intrigued, varying the level of attention they give us.
This technique is better known as mixed signals, whose function is to arouse our interest and curiosity. The idea is to generate an intrigue by his behavior, since sometimes he is extremely interested and other times he treats you like any friend, this is the idea.
Despite the fact that many men have not perfected the technique and it is at that moment when it makes you think that he does not want anything with you.
I’m sure that now everything begins to make sense for you, since on more than one occasion you will have sent signals to a boy and then try to make you interesting by ignoring him, the same they try to do.
We can take mixed signals as a very fun game of seduction, which is much more interesting if both are participants.
Of course, before becoming player # 2 you must be 100% sure that you want to participate, since if you want it is to start a serious relationship and you are not so patient, this strategy could stress you out.
Sometimes mixed signals can be very frustrating if you do not know the dynamics, despite this, if you can predict the patterns you will make the game turn in your favor and the doubts will disappear from your mind.
It is important to clarify that this is not an unfair game or some kind of gender competition, the goal here is to have fun for a while, flirt and ignite the spark between you.
Once you have understood that he does not look for you because he does not want anything with you, you realize that understanding these signals is very simple, however this flirtation is more insecure and unstable than the normal courtship that you are used to. In this game the rules change.
If you agree to participate, keep the following in mind:
Don’t stress, let yourself go and watch the way he tries to seduce you. This first moment is key to start putting the game in your favor.
Try to keep your mind clear and don’t take anything for granted. Ask yourself frequently if you are interpreting the signals correctly, if he is actually sending them or they are only your assumptions along with your desire that the feeling is reciprocated, do not allow emotions to cloud your mind.
On many occasions we misinterpret the verbal and paraverbal messages that society in general sends us, that is, if a girl is kind and polite to another boy, he may interpret that her only intention is to sleep with him, at the same time we.
If a guy is attentive and talks to us sweetly, we interpret his behavior as a desire on his part to start a serious relationship, which is why it is important to use additional resources to find out if he really likes you, including your intuition.
3. Challenge their rules
Remember that this is a game of two, and that both make and remove rules without consulting the other. So far you have followed his rules and they only flirt when he chooses to do so. To add flavor, he changes the role he had followed so far.
When he flirts with you, ignore him! This will make him try at least two immediate times to which you can reciprocate and thus little by little take control of the game.
4. Don’t despair
Try to be patient and understand that this is a game, do not face it trying to get a specific answer about his true intentions with you, by forcing an answer on this topic you will end up losing any possibility of a future relationship with him. Relax and enjoy the flirting.
5. Don’t fall in love
Avoid putting your feelings at risk, do not give your heart to someone who is not sure why he is looking for you, the exchange of mixed signals can be a very fun game, if you take it as such, but if you fall in love it can become your headache.
Since you’re still not sure if he just wants to have a fun time with you or if he wants something more than just flirting once in a while.
6. Try to keep these signals secret.
One of the most exciting parts of this exchange of signals is that it takes place between only those involved without the rest of your friends noticing.
It is looking for that chance look, smiling and giving the impression of something natural when only you know what is really happening.
If you tell your girlfriends or friends about him this magic will fade, and he may be upset about airing what you two had with the rest of society.
Even if it is not intentionally, you would be forcing him to make a decision if he goes out with you formally or not, this is something that he probably has not decided yet and that is why they were kept on mixed signals.
It’s best that you just enjoy the flirting calmly without getting too involved.
7. Make a decision
Obviously you can’t spend a year sending mixed signals to a friend and even worse if you have already given this person exclusivity and stopped dating other people or have rejected several guys because you think you have something with him.
There is no specific or ideal time range to consider the situation, this is determined by you, according to your degree of patience and the tone that the relationship with him takes.
You have to decide if you really like him and you want something with him that goes beyond just confusing signals, you will have to turn these into romance or if all you want is to continue having fun and continue having this type of romp without any commitment, you can. make.
But in the latter case you have to continue with your life and not give it exclusivity, because until now you do not know if he is only flirting with you or even if he already has a formal relationship with another person.
8. The final confrontation
This will take place after the decision you have made, that is, if you decided that you do not really like him enough to have a relationship with him, but the flirting is okay and you want to take it to another level.
This is where you can talk to him and propose a relationship of friends with rights and thus increase the fun, it is a fact that he would accept! because what man could refuse a proposal like this? More in your favor if there is already a previous history of flirting between you.
The other possible decision that you could have made is that you actually like him and you are already bored of just playing without having anything clear, without any sign of progress for a relationship, and this is where you decide to talk to him and question him about his true intentions. with you.
You can only question him about what he wants but not to claim for the flirtation between the two of you, since you also played the game and in this case there is nothing to claim.
Usually confrontations of this type do not end well, since if he has not taken these signals to something else, it is simply because he did not want to, you should not justify it thinking that maybe he is a shy boy and does not dare to speak to you clearly.
Let’s face it: a shy guy doesn’t flirt or send mixed signals with a passionate tone.
The reasons why he does not want to get into a relationship can be many: he has a relationship and you did not even want to know, that he does not like you enough or maybe that during the game you stopped liking him, whatever the reason you must go ahead and take the best of each experience.
The exchange of mixed signals can be as fun or as frustrating as you decide it, the important thing is that this flirtation is to your liking and do not allow a boy to play with you without having fun yourself first.