A change in partner behavior can be upsetting and confusing.
One of the worst feelings is when he suddenly acts distant.
You are left not knowing what to think and not knowing what to do.
Do you talk to him or leave him alone?
Another aspect you are wondering about is what this means for your relationship.
Is it something you can fix or does it mean your relationship could end soon?
Below are possible reasons for your man’s mysteriously distant behavior.
Think about his recent behavior and read the signs below to find out why he’s been acting differently lately.
Then, when you’re ready, try to talk to him about what’s going on, to find a solution or move on.
He is stressed
It’s not uncommon for guys to put up a wall when they’re going through something stressful.
Often he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it.
It’s possible that he doesn’t want to pull you into what you’re going through.
Unless he’s telling you what’s going on, he might be going through something.
Maybe he has family or personal issues, or maybe there is a situation at work that is bothering him.
There may even be something in the relationship that he is stressed about.
He may also want support but doesn’t know how to talk to you about it.
Guys can have a hard time understanding and expressing their own emotions and it can be hard for them to be vulnerable, even around important people.
Before confronting him about his distant behavior, ask how he is and if anything is going on that he would like to talk about.
Try to be supportive and remind him that you’re there if he needs someone to talk to.
Something in the relationship is bothering Him
Another possibility that he has created distance is that something in the relationship is bothering him.
It could have more to do with you or him, or it’s possible it’s really no one’s fault.
There are more detailed reasons below that explain what could be bothering him in your relationship.
You Are Being Too Needy
It’s nice to need other people, but what if he feels like you only need him?
Are you always texting him or calling him, texting him a lot more than he texts you?
Do you want affection and attention from him all the time?
Do you always have to instill some intimacy and affection?
And your limits?
If you don’t have any, this is unusual, even in a relationship.
If any of these things apply to you, he might think you’re being too needy.
If this is the problem, you must remember that he is only human.
It may need time to recharge.
This doesn’t necessarily mean he doesn’t care about you, but he might feel like you’re overwhelming or smothering him.
If that’s the reason he’s acting distant all of a sudden, you can talk to him to find out what he needs from you to improve the relationship.
You can try to let him come to you instead of always clinging to him every chance you get.
Remember that you don’t want to smother him.
It can also help if you have your own life separate from him.
Try to find a TV show to watch alone.
Or you can pick up your own hobby or hang out with your friends.
He Needs Space
There is a saying that attraction grows in absence.
Although he may be crazy about you, most people value their alone time.
In fact, many people enjoy their relationships more when they spend time alone.
Giving yourself some time, even for a day, can give the two of you a chance to miss each other.
Have you been spending a lot of time with another guy?
Or maybe talking to a friend of yours more than usual?
If he’s acting weird, he might be jealous of the extra attention you’re giving this other guy.
Does he get upset when you talk about other people?
Does it bother you when other people think you’re beautiful?
Does he try to impress you?
When you leave, does he ask a million questions?
Does he communicate with you constantly?
These are additional signs that he is insecure or jealous.
At the same time, he may be jealous of other people in his life, such as friends or family, especially if he feels that you are neglecting him to spend time with your friends and family.
While you should assure him that he has nothing to worry about, you will need to address his behavior if jealousy is truly the cause of him acting distant.
He is busy
Sometimes, despite the best intentions, our busy schedules can get the best of us.
It could be that he is busy with work, school or personal matters. Whatever it is, you’ve started to notice that he’s not as close as he used to be.
Is he always glued to the phone for work or family issues?
That sort of thing can keep you busy.
If he’s been extremely busy, chances are you already know this, especially if you’ve been having trouble making plans to spend time together recently.
If his busy schedule is bothering you, talk to him to find out how you can spend more time together.
You’ll also have to be patient if he can’t always spend as much time with you as you’d like him to.
Be understanding, but show what you want from your relationship.
Together you can try to make it work.
His Friends Are Influencing His Head
Does he have friends who don’t like you that much?
Or are they still single and partying all the time?
If the answer to any of these questions is in the affirmative, it’s possible they’ve gotten into his head.
Have his friends or family ever expressed concern about you before?
Do they dislike your personality or do they have a problem with something from your past?
If so, then they might be trying to push your boyfriend away from you.
If his friends or family don’t like you for some reason, it will be difficult for him, especially if he cares what they think.
At the same time, you and your partner are the only people in the relationship, so what matters is what the two of you think.
It can be difficult to have a relationship with someone if friends and family don’t like you, but he needs to defend you or he will choose them over you.
If this problem is causing him to act distant from you, something needs to change.
He’s Afraid of Commitment
So, everything is going well, and all of a sudden, he starts acting cold and distant.
One possibility is that he is afraid to commit to the relationship.
But how do you know he’s afraid to commit?
He may be less intimate with you lately or maybe he’s hesitant to define your relationship when you try to broach the subject, which is a big red flag.
Is he seeing someone else?
If he is cheating on you, it is a definite sign that he is not ready to commit to your relationship.
Perhaps he is sending you mixed messages.
Are his actions with you inconsistent?
In this case, it could mean that he is conflicted about committing to the relationship, or he may not want to commit, but he also doesn’t want to hurt your feelings.
Another big sign that he’s afraid to commit is that he doesn’t want to talk about the future with you.
If he’s afraid of committing, this could easily explain his distant behavior.
He Thinks You’re Speeding Things Up
Even if you and your boyfriend have a great relationship, he may be acting distant if he thinks the relationship is being rushed.
If you and your partner recently moved out, said “I love you” for the first time, got engaged, or made another big milestone in your relationship, he may be pulling away suddenly because he thinks you’re rushing things.
Maybe it was you who wanted to move the relationship to the next step and he didn’t want to let you down, or maybe he really liked it but is thinking twice about it now.
It is also possible that he is very happy with the relationship and is afraid that big changes could put a lot of stress on the relationship.
He might feel like you two are in the honeymoon stages and he doesn’t want to move on to the next stage or chapter of things because things are going so well.
Either way, if he thinks your relationship is moving too fast, then the two of you need to sit down and talk.
He Needs His Own Identity
If he doesn’t know who he is without you, then he might be feeling a little lost, especially when you’re not around.
Maybe he’s trying to figure out his identity outside of the relationship.
Do you two spend a lot of time together?
Do you all share the same hobbies and hang out with the same mutual friends?
Not having something of your own could make you feel suffocated or lost.
He may feel that he needs his own space to have his own sense of self, separate from you.
He’s Having Doubts
One possible reason he is acting aloof is that he is having second thoughts about the relationship.
The reason behind these doubts can be just about anything.
The cause of your doubts can range from feelings for someone to not feeling satisfied in bed.
Or maybe he doesn’t get along with his family.
Have you done anything in the past to hurt him?
This could give someone doubts about a relationship as well.
If he’s having doubts, speak up and try to recreate the spark you used to have.
Give him the reassurance he needs.
And as hard as it is, try to give him time to figure things out too.
He Wants To End The Relationship
If he’s acting distant, then you must have wondered if he wants to break up with you.
Here are some signs that he wants to end the relationship.
Has he stopped texting and calling you?
Is he avoiding you?
If you answered yes to one of the questions, something is definitely not right.
Is he less affectionate lately?
Does he seem to prefer the company of friends to you these days?
Does he seem uninterested in you and what you have to say?
Is he fighting with you?
Did he forget an important occasion like his birthday or Valentine’s Day?
Did your friends and family treat you differently and not in a good way?
These are all signs that he might want to break up with you.
But before jumping to conclusions, talk to him first to make sure you’re on the same page.
He Is Cheating
Just because he’s distant doesn’t necessarily mean he’s cheating on you.
However, this is one of many possibilities that could explain your change in behavior.
Before jumping to conclusions, think if there are any signs of him cheating first.
Does he guard his cell phone like a hawk and is he always on it, texting someone?
Or maybe he tries to hide his spending history from you because he might be spending money on someone else.
Maybe he needs more privacy than usual.
Does he disappear without warning and is inconsistent with what he does when he’s not around you?
If he acts paranoid that you are suspicious of him, it could make cheating a possibility.
Has he been incredibly busy lately?
While it’s normal to hang out with friends a lot or be swamped by work, have there been any hints that he could be lying about what he’s really doing?
Did you find another female item among his things?
Maybe an item of clothing that isn’t yours?
Have you found a gift for a woman that is not for you?
This is a big red flag that makes it very likely that he could be cheating.
Has his behavior been unpredictable lately?
Have some things about him changed drastically, like his style or what he likes to do in bed?
This could mean that there is someone else in the photos beside you.
If you have any suspicions of cheating, the only way to really know the truth is to ask.
While he may or may not be honest, at least you’ll know that you’ve tried to communicate your concerns to him.
He Is Depressed
One possible explanation for distant behavior in a relationship is that he may be suffering from depression.
Depression can affect anyone, regardless of whether a major life event has taken place.
He may not even have a history of depression.
Does he not want to do anything with you anymore?
Is he hiding at home?
Here are some signs of depression for you to watch out for.
Is he more tired than usual?
Does he sleep a lot or a little?
Has his appetite changed drastically?
Does he have trouble concentrating?
Certain emotions can also indicate possible depression, such as anxiety or fits of anger or sadness.
Substance abuse is also a possible sign of depression.
If he is acting distant and depressed, he may not know what to do with his emotions or he may not know how to seek help.
Let him know you’re there for him and encourage him to get the treatment he needs if he’s really dealing with depression.
He Thinks You Judge Him Too Much
Do you think you criticize your partner a lot?
Are you always on his tail and always trying to tell him what to do or how to do things?
When taken too far, these actions, while well-intentioned, can come across as overly judgmental and controlling.
If he is acting distant, he may not feel like he can be himself with you without being criticized.
Have you turned him off before when he tried to open up and talk to you?
If he opens up to you, he might just want you to listen to him so he can vent and isn’t always looking for advice.
If he feels he can’t talk to you then, of course, he will watch what he says around you.
He may even start acting differently.
Find out from him if that’s why he’s acting distant all of a sudden.
And if that’s the reason, you can work together to find out how he can feel that you’re not judging him all the time.
Whatever his reason for acting distant, it’s important that you don’t spend all your time worrying too much about it.
While it’s good to find out what’s going on, you can’t dwell on it too much.
When trying to understand why he is suddenly acting distant, avoid being a mother and smothering him.
He needs a partner, not a mother.
Just try to communicate with him that you have concerns about his recent change in behavior.
Hopefully, he’ll be fine having this conversation with you and you’ll be able to figure something out together.