Most people confuse routine and boredom as a couple! While the routine is completely normal and even source of wealth within a couple, boredom comes to weigh on the latter and locks him in a relationship devoid of fulfillment.
Routine, Queen of the Exceptional
As a child, the weeks looked a little bit alike.
Monday and Tuesday it was mom who brought me to school.
I liked it, afterwards I kept its smell on my skin.
A smell of almond, warm, like frangipane.
Wednesday I went to dance, I must have been eight years old, later it was tennis, then gym, but it was always Wednesday. As if this day was attributed to sport in all the families in our village.
I met the same friends there, and it was really reassuring.
Thursday and Friday it was dad who brought me to school because mom worked earlier, it was always running, we arrived late, my pants were put inside out and my socks were often mismatched.
But in the end, I liked these two rock n roll days.
Like my dad.
And Saturday was always Papy and Mamy day.
We went up the mountain for lunch, we always ate tomatoes because I loved it, with mozzarella for my little sister who would have been able to eat the whole box. Then chicken and potatoes and yogurt for dessert.
Then, depending on the weather and our age, we wandered around, we watched a film, we played cards.
But it sometimes happened, without warning, that a Saturday the car did not take the road to the mountain and that mom and dad take us, by surprise, to take a walk by the sea.
Then we were going to eat ice cream and have a ride.
And one day I asked Papa ” But why we are not going to eat ice cream make you merry-go-round every Saturday, it’s so super cool !? “
He took me on his lap and I remember exactly what he said to me:
” Because your ice cream would no longer have the same flavor of surprise, because the carousel would become void, because you would know by heart the trees that line the path by the sea “.
The routine in the couple
I therefore use, without asking permission, this response from Dad, to evoke a subject that teases and unfortunately breaks sometimes many couples: Routine, habits , fear of boredom. You will give him the word you like.
You must first ask yourself: But what am I afraid of? Is it to shut myself up in something that I don’t like? Is it boring me?
If you answer yes, then it is not routine that you are afraid of, but a life pattern that does not suit you.
A routine is beneficial in a couple when we have found the right matches, when we know that on Tuesday evening our darling sees her friends and that we can make a TV sofa in an old bathrobe without owing anything to anyone.
It is thanks to these little habits, this cozy schedule where everything is certainly organized but ultimately never the same because no day or hour is alike, that the exceptional can happen.
Go out every night, test a new bar every Saturday, make love every day on each floor of your building, what interest?
You would then make the exceptional a routine and it would fatally end up boring you. There would no longer be any way out of the routine since the “exceptional moment” card would already be worn to the bone.
Do you understand?
There is no magic recipe for “super routine that works for everyone”, no.
Each couple is different and therefore each must find their organization where they feel good and reassured.
A cozy meadow he can sprinkle here and there a little magic moment, a little sweeter, a little more passionate.
This routine is built over time and in communication and above all naturally.
It should not be imposed, if it has to be done, it will be done, sometimes with hazards and obligations, but life is made of pleasant things and others less.
Know how to look back, in your childhood, how you liked to know that Wednesday was dance and not something wacky different each time. Humans naturally need landmarks and familiarity to flourish because, let us not forget, we are animals and our primary function is to “reproduce ourselves, the survival of the species, etc. “And you need security for that, that’s what routine brings. So if your goal is to ask yourself, potentially reproduce and preserve the human species, then vote for the routine!
And then why not take the future savior of humanity on a Saturday dinner with a surprise stripping that will never look like that of movies, when you come home?
He will tell you ” I did not expect it!” “
And there, you will have won everything, especially that the next day you will be very happy to find the TV and his shoulder as a pillow.
If the word routine confuses you, or scares you, use the word “ritual” instead, it has this spiritual side and less connoted, which often pleases.
Find your rituals, those that will be the barriers to procrastination, those that will allow you to finally (or not) try to eat a balanced diet, those that will make you sleep better, those that will reassure you and especially those that will allow you to enjoy unusual moments. to be really fabulous.
In the end the rituals are exceptional and the routine is your girlfriend.