In relationships, it’s easy to get caught up in the desire to be loved and accepted. We often overlook red flags or settle for less than we deserve because we’re afraid of being alone. But the truth is, you deserve more than being someone’s second choice. You deserve to be a priority—not an option.
What Does It Mean to Be a Priority?
Being a priority in someone’s life means they value you, respect your time, and consider your feelings in their decisions. It means they make an effort to include you in their plans, listen to your concerns, and show up when you need them. When someone makes you a priority, you never have to question their intentions or wonder where you stand.
On the other hand, being an option means you are treated as a convenience. You’re only contacted when it suits them, and your needs are often brushed aside. This dynamic leaves you feeling unimportant, insecure, and emotionally drained.
Signs You’re an Option, Not a Priority
Recognizing when you’re being treated as an option is the first step in reclaiming your self-worth. Here are some signs to watch out for:
- Inconsistent Communication: They text or call only when it’s convenient for them, leaving you wondering why they disappear for days or weeks.
- Last-Minute Plans: You’re never part of their long-term plans. Instead, they invite you out last minute, making you feel like an afterthought.
- Lack of Effort: They don’t put in effort to maintain the relationship. Whether it’s remembering important dates or showing support during tough times, their lack of involvement is evident.
- Unavailable in Times of Need: When you need emotional support, they’re often unavailable or dismissive, but they expect you to be there for them.
- Non-Committal Behavior: They avoid labels, future plans, or discussions about commitment. You’re left feeling uncertain about where the relationship is headed.
If you recognize these signs in your relationship, it’s time to reevaluate your worth and set boundaries.
Why You Deserve to Be a Priority
You are worthy of love, respect, and commitment. Here’s why you deserve to be someone’s priority:
1. Your Time and Energy Are Valuable
Time is one of the most precious resources we have. When you invest your time and energy into someone who treats you as an option, you’re essentially giving away a part of yourself to someone who doesn’t value it. You deserve a partner who appreciates your presence and reciprocates your efforts.
2. You Deserve Emotional Security
Constantly wondering where you stand in someone’s life can take a toll on your mental and emotional well-being. A healthy relationship provides emotional security, where both partners feel valued and respected. You shouldn’t have to question whether you matter to someone—you should know it through their actions.
3. You Bring Value to Relationships
Think about all the qualities you bring to a relationship—kindness, support, loyalty, love, and care. These traits make you special and deserving of someone who recognizes your worth. Settling for less than you deserve means you’re allowing someone to take advantage of your generosity.
Steps to Reclaim Your Worth
If you’ve been treated as an option, it’s important to take steps to reclaim your self-worth and set healthier boundaries.
1. Acknowledge Your Worth
Start by recognizing your own value. Remind yourself of your strengths, achievements, and what you bring to a relationship. Self-worth comes from within, and once you realize your value, you’ll be less likely to accept being treated poorly.
2. Set Boundaries
Establish clear boundaries in your relationships. Communicate your needs and expectations, and don’t be afraid to walk away from someone who doesn’t respect them. Boundaries protect your emotional well-being and help you maintain healthy relationships.
3. Focus on Self-Love
Prioritize self-love and self-care. When you love yourself, you’re less likely to seek validation from others. Engage in activities that make you happy, build your confidence, and surround yourself with people who uplift you.
4. Choose Relationships Wisely
Be selective about who you allow into your life. Choose people who respect, appreciate, and prioritize you. A healthy relationship should be a two-way street, where both partners invest equally.
How to Spot Someone Who Will Make You a Priority
When you encounter someone who makes you a priority, their actions will speak louder than words. Here are some signs to look for:
- Consistent Communication: They check in regularly and keep you updated on their life.
- Thoughtful Gestures: They remember important dates, your preferences, and small details about you.
- Involvement in Your Life: They show interest in your hobbies, friends, and family.
- Supportive During Tough Times: They stand by you during challenging moments and offer emotional support.
- Commitment to the Relationship: They make plans for the future and are clear about their intentions.
Final Thoughts
Being someone’s priority doesn’t mean you have to be the center of their universe. It means being valued, respected, and considered in their decisions. It’s about mutual effort, care, and support.
You deserve a partner who makes you feel seen, heard, and appreciated. Don’t settle for being someone’s option when you can be their priority. The right person will value you for who you are and will never make you question your worth.
