You haven’t lost anyone, it’s the others who lost you

Learn to change the way you look at things and realize what you have lost: someone who did not know how to value you, and he is the one who has lost more than you.

We are sure that at some point in your life cycle you lost someone who was very important to you. A love, a friend, a close relative of your family …

We are talking about emotional losses here, not physical ones. We refer to those ruptures which tear us apart, almost without knowing how and which leave us wounds, and a lot of questions.

The hardest part about ending a relationship, regardless of the type, is that it’s not easy to face this moment in a positive way. That is to say, so that it promotes our personal development.

It is common in a breakup that self-esteem plummets completely.

There are many people who feel responsible and guilty of this ending, and then begin a cycle of self-destructive thoughts and reproaches which have as a common thread the ”  I could have done otherwise”, “I do not deserve to be loved ”,“ I was not good enough for this person ”.

Let me be clear: overcoming the grief of an emotional loss involves controlling the type of thoughts our mind sends out.

There is no worse enemy than yourself, and when it comes to emotional losses, sometimes we act like real tormentors.

It’s not healthy. Here we suggest you apply emotional strategies adapted to these situations.

What you have lost, what is left behind and what keeps you moving forward

We are more fragile than we think.

In everyday life, we manage to maintain an apparent capacity for control which helps us to think that we can do anything, that nothing can hurt us.

We believe this at certain times in our life because we have strong bonds with people we love.

Good friends, great family ties, and a fulfilling and happy relationship give us wings, strength, and optimism.

Sometimes, it only takes one link of this perfect chain to jump for the famous balance to collapse completely.

At this point, we are so overwhelmed with negative emotions that it is common to get stuck, not knowing what to do, what to think, or how to react.

Our emotional cements seem to have collapsed and our mind is doing nothing but thinking about the loss over and over again. To this person who left without our understanding the reason.

Don’t beg for love, don’t ask for what we can’t give you anymore

First of all, it is important to understand that all negative emotion i.e. anger, hopelessness, sadness, and fear have a very concrete end in our brain. They force us to see reality in order to respond to a “danger”.

  • Negative emotions are instinctive and alert us to something. We must react.
  • If we know the other doesn’t love us anymore, nothing can be more destructive than continuing to beg for another chance.
  • The end of a relationship hurts, it is necessary to feel sadness, to cry, and to spend time thinking, surrounded by our own thoughts.
  • Later, we pass to the stage of worthy acceptance of what has happened and we resume our walk.

Focusing your mind on the past and on those conditional sentences like ”  if I had this, maybe …” or “if I had said that, maybe …” do nothing more than return despair more important again.

It’s the others who lost you

You haven’t lost anyone, it’s the others who have lost you. Seeing it this way is not an act of selfishness, but of emotional strength.

  • If someone hasn’t taken the measure of your dreams, if they haven’t understood the greatness of your values. If he did not blossom in contact with your wise love, your tenderness, and your good will, it was not you who lost him, it was he who lost you.
  • Above all, never feel guilty about this loss. Don’t humiliate yourself or abuse yourself emotionally. And don’t think that you have to change to better fit in with this person, their life plans.
  • Never lose your identity, nor your greatness. If someone didn’t like you, that’s their problem. If a person did not understand your reasons, there is no reason to torture themselves.

Feed your self-esteem, take care of your self-esteem, and don’t throw away all of its qualities that you took so long to forge just because someone isn’t able to see them.

Only because someone left you because you did not fit their heart size.

Don’t lose yourself just because you’ve lost someone

It is not worth losing yourself. It is never healthy to stop loving yourself just because someone preferred to put some distance away when we wanted them to stay with us.

  • If you choose to neglect yourself, if you prefer to put distance between yourself and your heart, you will be a sad prisoner of the one who, one day, said no to you, who closed the door of your house to sow sadness in your mind.
  • Close this step, put an end to this circle of suffering, and go out and find yourself with yourself.
  • Do not seek love in the form of painkillers with which to satiate your sorrows and manage to forget. 

The best thing to do in this case is to spend some time healing yourself. And remember, once again, his joys, his dreams, and his values.

What you have lost no longer exists, it is already behind you. But what is about to happen takes on the clothes of happiness and new hope.

And it’s all within your reach if you want it.