Breakups can be tough, but moving on from a past relationship is an essential step toward building something new and healthy. However, sometimes, people dive into a new relationship before they’ve fully let go of their ex. If you’ve ever wondered whether your partner is still holding onto feelings from a past relationship, you’re not alone. Here are seven clear signs that he’s not over his ex, no matter what he says.
- He Talks About Her – A Lot If his ex keeps popping up in conversations, it could be a sign he hasn’t moved on. Whether he’s constantly bringing up memories, comparing you to her, or mentioning her name out of the blue, this fixation is a red flag. Occasional references to an ex are normal, but if she’s a recurring character in your daily discussions, it suggests she’s still on his mind.
- He Keeps Tabs on Her Does he check her social media profiles regularly, or seem unusually interested in what she’s doing? Staying friends with an ex can be healthy in some cases, but if he’s monitoring her every move or reacting emotionally to her updates, it indicates unresolved feelings. Obsessive behavior toward an ex suggests he’s emotionally invested in her life.
- He Gets Defensive When You Bring Her Up When someone is truly over their ex, they can discuss the past relationship calmly and without emotional baggage. If he becomes defensive, irritated, or overly secretive whenever you ask about her, it could mean he’s hiding lingering feelings. His discomfort likely stems from guilt or unresolved emotions.
- He Compares You to Her Being compared to someone else is never a good feeling. If he frequently compares your looks, habits, or personality to his ex, it’s a sign he hasn’t fully accepted your unique qualities. Whether he idealizes her or constantly criticizes her in contrast to you, both suggest he’s still mentally stuck in his previous relationship.
- He Keeps Mementos from Their Relationship Holding onto photos, gifts, or love letters from an ex can indicate he’s holding onto the past. While some sentimental items are harmless, if he’s keeping a shrine-like collection or refuses to let go of certain objects, it might signal that he’s struggling to detach emotionally. Pay attention to how he reacts if you suggest getting rid of these mementos.
- He Gets Emotional When Talking About Her Strong emotional reactions, whether it’s anger, sadness, or nostalgia, suggest unresolved feelings. If he seems overly affected when discussing their breakup or her new relationships, it means he still cares deeply. True emotional closure usually results in neutral feelings when the topic of an ex arises.
- He Reaches Out to Her Frequently Staying in touch occasionally is one thing, but regular contact with an ex is a potential warning sign. If he’s constantly texting, calling, or finding reasons to meet up with her, his emotional ties likely haven’t been severed. Pay attention to the nature of their interactions—are they purely friendly, or do they hint at something deeper?
What to Do If You Recognize These Signs If you see several of these behaviors in your partner, it doesn’t automatically mean your relationship is doomed. However, it does indicate that a serious conversation is necessary. Here’s how to approach it:
- Communicate Openly: Express your concerns calmly and without accusations. Use “I” statements like “I feel uncomfortable when I hear you talk about your ex so often.”
- Set Boundaries: Let him know what behaviors make you uncomfortable and discuss what you both consider acceptable when it comes to keeping in touch with exes.
- Evaluate His Response: A partner who values your relationship will listen to your concerns and work with you to build trust. If he becomes dismissive, defensive, or refuses to change, it may be a sign that he’s not ready to move forward.
- Prioritize Your Well-being: You deserve to be with someone who is emotionally available and fully invested in your relationship. If his attachment to his ex continues to cause stress, it might be time to reconsider your future together.
Final Thoughts Recognizing that someone isn’t over their ex can be painful, but it’s better to address the issue early rather than ignoring it. A healthy relationship is built on trust, honesty, and emotional availability. If your partner is still holding onto the past, both of you deserve the chance to heal and find happiness—whether that’s together or apart.
