As social creatures, we all have an innate desire for connection and companionship. However, when that desire becomes a need that consumes us, to the point where we lose our own identity, it can lead to codependency. Codependency is a dysfunctional pattern of behavior where one person prioritizes the needs and wants of another person over their own, to the extent that their own well-being and happiness are compromised.
I know this all too well, as I was stuck in the chains of codependency for years. It began with a toxic relationship where I felt responsible for my partner’s happiness and well-being. I would sacrifice my own needs and wants to ensure that they were satisfied, even if it meant putting myself in harm’s way. I thought that if I could just fix them or make them happy, then I would finally be happy too.
But the truth is, I was never truly happy. I was constantly anxious, always worrying about my partner’s mood and needs. I had lost sight of who I was and what I wanted in life. I was trapped in a cycle of seeking validation and approval from my partner, believing that their love was necessary for my own self-worth.
It wasn’t until I hit rock bottom that I realized I needed to escape the chains of codependency. I began by acknowledging my own worth and value as a person, separate from my relationship. I reflected on my past experiences and identified the patterns of behavior that led me to this point. I sought therapy and support from friends and family, who helped me understand the root causes of my codependency.
I also set clear boundaries for myself, learning to say no to things that didn’t align with my values and needs. I practiced self-care, taking time to do things that brought me joy and fulfillment. I surrounded myself with people who uplifted and supported me, rather than those who fed into my codependent tendencies.
Most importantly, I began to develop self-confidence and self-love. I recognized that I didn’t need someone else’s validation to feel good about myself. I learned to trust my own instincts and make decisions based on what was best for me, rather than solely for the benefit of others.
Today, I am proud to say that I have broken free from the chains of codependency. It wasn’t an easy journey, but it was necessary for my own growth and happiness. If you find yourself stuck in a similar pattern of behavior, know that there is hope. It starts with acknowledging your own worth and value, setting clear boundaries, practicing self-care, surrounding yourself with supportive people, and developing self-confidence. You deserve to live a life free from the chains of codependency, and it is never too late to start on your journey to freedom.
