Nobody intentionally enters into a bad relationship, and each couple goes through difficult times from time to time. But there is a difference between dealing with some temporary problems and being stuck in a relationship that has become toxic. In order to differentiate a relationship from a toxic relationship, here are some alarming signs that should not be taken lightly.
According to Kimberly Hershenson, a relationship therapist, people stay in toxic relationships for many reasons. They feel comfortable with the status quo and continue on the same path because change is difficult. They are in denial and continue because it is easier.
This denial can make it quite difficult to understand that you should cut ties as soon as possible or seek a mutual solution. So if you probably have an idea that something is wrong, and you can not be sure if you’re in a toxic relationship that’s beyond being saved, start by asking yourself these 7 questions.
1. Are you often screaming and arguing?
There are no couples who always agree on everything, but you do not have to take an emotional roller coaster often. According to Erin Lewis Ballard, marriage and family therapist, if your conflicts are intense and lead to words or radical gestures, there is cause for concern. Going well one day and a crisis the next day is a sign that your relationship is toxic. And of course, any moral or physical violence is a clear signal to go away.
2. Are you constantly keeping the accounts?
Relationships should not look like a game where each person keeps track of how many times she has done something good or even something wrong.
Ballard explains that we are all victims at times, but a relationship lived by always holding the accounts of the other is toxic. Whether you and your partner consistently point out the mistakes of others or recite your summary of good deeds, this is a sign that you are in a toxic relationship.
3. Are you afraid to talk to your partner about important things?
According to therapist Jane Reardon, telling your partner what really weighs on your mind, which could include things he does or does not do in the relationship, is not always easy to do, especially in front of a person who is dear to you, but when couples choose to keep comfort rather than see the reality, there is something to worry about.
4. Does your partner only care for himself?
You may not have realized it at first, but over time, the true personality traits of a narcissist will be revealed. The therapist and counselor Evie Shafner, explains that when you are with a narcissist, there will be only one person who counts, and it will not be you.
A narcissistic person will try to manipulate you or make you feel guilty for meeting his needs while ignoring yours. She talks mostly about herself and does not really react to what can happen to you, and the biggest problem is that she does not have empathy.
5. Do you feel that you can not do anything right?
If you make a lot of effort to please your partner and you get nothing, you probably will not do it anymore. Giving someone the impression that they can not do anything good can be a serious sign of emotional abuse. Your partner is supposed to be your biggest support. If this is not the case, pay attention and love yourself enough to leave.
7. Are you or your partner overwhelmed by jealousy?
According to Lesli Doares, a couple and coach advisor, it’s when you have to constantly tell your partner about your trips and who you are with. All you do is not only to include it, but to turn around it. You may find lying easier, but when your lies are discovered, either everything will jump or you will choose to stop having a life, friends and personal interests because the price to pay is too high. In both cases, this is not the sign of a healthy relationship.